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He's racist and it pisses me off

Posted by Anonymous
  • 46 Replies
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I am disgusted by my dad's way of thinking.....he's a racist.
He's always using the N word around my kids and I don't want my kids growing up with that way of thinking, so one night, while he was talking, he said the N word around my kids and I had enough....I told him to give that word a's offensive to me and I don't want that being a word that my kids grow up knowing and kids are smarter than that.

Then, when we were at a family members house for the Super Bowl (my kids were at their dad's) the topic of interracial dating came up and I can't remember for the life of me, how it came up but it did.
Anyhow, my uncle hasn't talked to his daughter (his only child) in a few years and hasn't met his grandchildren because they're all biracial (black and white) and to me, this is disgusting.
Well, I told my dad "I hate to tell you this dad, but if I met a black man who treated me right and loved my kids, I wouldn't NOT be with him just because he's would have to either learn to get over yourself or not talk to me again."
And he said "You mean to tell me that you could be attracted to a black man?" and I said simply "Yes, I could be attracted to whoever treats me right and loves me for me...why pass on love based solely on race?"
I refuse to raise my kids with his way of kids will not be scared to love someone or know someone just because they're black, white or whatever.

I am so astonished that I was raised by this kinda pisses me off that he's so damn ignorant.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 8, 2012 at 9:36 PM
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by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 2:41 AM

If that is what you are truly attracted to and if you find someone who treats you good and respects you then I say go for it.  I just hope that you do not go looking for it just to rebel against your father because that could make you a very unhappy women.  I am not saying you are doing this so please do not take it that way.  I am sorry your father acts the way he does and I would not appreciate someone using that word in front of my children either.  I do get called a racist from time to time because I only find white guys attractive but I am sorry I am far from racist.  I think that everyone has a certain preference when it comes to looking for love.  I do not find a white fat truck driver with a beard down to his waist attractive either LOL!  Some guys will only date blonds or red heads.  Some girls prefer only black men or Mexicans.  I just wish people could see it the same way I do.  I am married to a white guy and have only ever dated white guys because that is my preference. 

by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2012 at 2:44 AM

My dad is the same way. He has always told me that if I was with a black man, he would disown me and any children we may have. I've always found myself more physically attracted to black men, but I fully believe my dad's threats. I'm married to a white man (whom I do love, by the way). 

by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 9, 2012 at 2:45 AM
I married a man that is almost my dads age, and when I told my dad that I was dating someone that much older he said " Well, I'm just happy he's not black". I am disgusted by my familys racism also. My kids will not be raised that way!
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by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 2:46 AM
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Be sure that even while you tell your Dad off, you take the time to talk to your kids and let them know you don't like "Grandpa's behavior" and won't tolerate it from them!  You can't change people sometimes, but your kids can be taught to ignore or tell Grandpa to "give it a rest" as they grow so they can enjoy the good times.  He'll quickly learn to keep those topics and opinions to himself when you and the kids are visiting b/c he'll get brushed off or told off by a child.  lol.

by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 2:52 AM
1 mom liked this

Good for you for standing up to your family and letting them know their views are wrong. Your kids will not be like them because you are teaching them better.

by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 3:02 AM

hugsThat must really suck.  But at least you can stop that cycle

by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 9, 2012 at 3:08 AM
1 mom liked this

 I applaud you....I am white, have a white son...I met a wonderful man of color and he loved me and my son! Now we have a daughter...I love our life!

by Emerald Member on Feb. 9, 2012 at 3:14 AM

My dad was from the South and a much much older dad for having kids in the late 70s, early 80s (he was 38, 40, 43 when we were born, 20 when my half-sister was born). And he was like this UNTIL I brought home my first boyfriend who was also my first husband who happened to be Hispanic. You have never met a man who loved his grandkids more (my dad passed away in 2006). I was amazed. He still threw out the occassional racist word and I would just give him a look and if it happened in front of my kids he would immediately say "Grandpa is a jerk, you never use those words they are BAD." I was so thankful for his ability to be open to my relationship. That being said, I am sure a big part of him was happy my now husband is white, but he never said it or expressed it in any way. Both of my brothers have dated black women, Asian women, Hispanic women, and he never said anything. He did his absolute best to be friendly and open to anyone who came into his home. I firmly believe that even if you were raised a certain way continuing racism is a choice and it can be changed if the person wants to. And BTW, despite my dad being like this, he did not raise us to be this way. My brother used the N word one time and all hell broke loose. He didn't want us to be like him....old dogs can learn new tricks, if they want to.

by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 3:15 AM

I was friends with a girl who's dad was like that. He's a little different though. He did have a friend that he was really close too that was black, but his friend passed away. He won't let just any black person who is friends with his daughter waltz in his house either. But the first day I met him, I had my son with me. My son is mixed, black and white. Tara (the ex friend) had to go in to her dad's house and make sure it was ok for me to have my son come in with me. And he allowed us in. My son took one look at him, and went to him and gave her dad a huge hug. Every since then her daddy has told me that my son and I are more than welcome in his house. 

Mother to Alexander. Edwyn is due in March/April <3

by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 9, 2012 at 3:18 AM

I would never date a black man and I would be disappointed in my kids if they decided to be with one. I would never disown them though.

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