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if u suffer from ptsd or anxiety please read!(just need to vent)

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:39 PM
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on friday night at midnight my friend was leaving and she decided to leave out of my garage door of my house to walk out to her car..we opened my door leading to the garage and found a strange man in my garage...we both screamed ran back in the house and locked the door called 911...my dh works night shift and i have my four kids with me....it was the scariest shit ever...before that i didn't evan have my door locked...i usually lock up for the night before bed so he could have walked in...the police arrived fast but they couldn't find anyone..iam a rape victium and i was raped by sgt while i was in the army...and this has triggered my ptsd very badly and my anxiety is super high...just all the what if s are in my mind... i don't want to hurt anyone but i just wanted to talk to someone...so i call the va and they transfer me to all these people one who evan said i was uneligable for counseling at this time...im like wtf ..im diagnoised and recieve monthly compensation..then she transfers me to someone else so says my records are very private...(yes they r private because iam a rape vicitum) but im eligable to come in for walk in to the er...im like well i need an appointment i have four kids and i can't just bring them to an er by myself ..its over an hour away...so i get no answers ..at this point i start balling...so i called my va social worker who says i should be able to just make an appointment to the hospital and she tells me to call coordinator...so i call at 1 o clock leave a message ..call a few more times saying i really just need to talk to someone evan over the phone and no one calls me back...what if i were on edge...wth..i feel so let down by the system...it just suxs...this is far from the first time something like this has happened to me with va..i know its the goverment and u can't expect them to be perfect but.im so glad i have my mom to check in on me and bff but they only can understand to a point...so here i sit by anxiety is so high...and i feel really alone and let down because they claim to want to help you but they can't evan call me back...i haven't been to counseling in a few months bc i was doing better was encouraged to come back at any time due to my ptsd...so i was just wondering when ur anxiety is really high what do u do ..i try to get my mind off of it by reading and watching tv but its only helping a little...maybe i need drugs..ughh

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:39 PM
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wrensong
by Pagan Mother on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:44 PM

 I have ptsd from being a victim of domestic violence. I understand how something can set off all those old feelings.

Keep trying to get counseling. Until then do you have a friend or family member who can talk to you on the phone or come stay with you?

It does get better. I promise.

mommykate4
by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:48 PM


Quoting wrensong:

 I have ptsd from being a victim of domestic violence. I understand how something can set off all those old feelings.

Keep trying to get counseling. Until then do you have a friend or family member who can talk to you on the phone or come stay with you?

It does get better. I promise.

i have my mom and best friend...my husband has his own issues so hes not the best to talk to..i just feel bad like im bugging them evan though they say im not...my moms called me twice tonight to check on me so that helps alot...but now its geting late kids r sleeping and its my first night alone here since the garage incident and i dunno y that takes me back to my rape...probaly bc my rapest just walked right in my room..i did know him though..thanks i will call the va tommarow...im sorry about what happened to you also this just suxs...i hate triggers..i have so many and im trying to do better..

wrensong
by Pagan Mother on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:52 PM

 I am sure your mom and friend won't mind talking to you. That's what friends and family are for.  If it gets bed, see if your friend can come for a sleep over.

Remind yourself that your rapist is not here.  Remind yourself that you are going to be ok. Try some deep breathing and meditations if you need to calm yourself down.  Sometimes we survied minute by minute, or second by second, but you will get thru this

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