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Pretending to enjoy my rapist......

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 39 Replies
Saved my life.

I had recently left the man I would later call my husband. I started seeing this other man.

After a while I knew where my heart laid. It was with my husband. (My ex boyfriend) and one day the abuse of this new man hit me like a ton of bricks and I knew I needed out.

So I planned my escape. Got an apartment of my own one day while at work. The next day I had off. I packed all that was mine and left while he was at work.

Almost 6 months went by. I was happily back with my ex (the husband).

That night my husband went out with his buddies so I could get some of my college work done in peace.

There was a knock at the door. I looked through the pep hole, as I had always done.

The hole was blocked on the outside. My brother liked to come over with his girlfriend and hang out and he loved to prank me. A common prank was to cover the hole with his finger.

So I felt confident that I knew who it was. As I was chuckling slightly to myself I opened the door assuming it would be my brother.

Before I could realize that it was not my brother, that it was my brief bussive ex, it was too late to close the door. I tried. I screamed and tried to close the door on him.

No one was home except my dog and myself. The neighbors next to us moved out the week prior and the neighbors behind us were on vacation. No one heard my screams.

He punched me. So hard it knocked me out.

My the time I had come to, he was on top of and in me. I started to panic and struggle and it got worse.

I had taken self defense classes. Been in karatee as a kid. I had been an athlete and could hold my own. But nothing I tried seemed to make it stop.

Then something clicked inside. Take the sting out. Take it out by pretending to enjoy it. Tell him I liked it and how much I enjoyed and missed it.

It worked. Because he suddenly couldn't perform. When he stopped thrusting I asked what was wrong. That I wanted him to keep going.

I don't know if I embarassed him or what, but he quickly got up and ran out.

I called my husband and immediately went to the er.

I know this sounds very odd, and very sickening. It has taken a ton of help and theapy. We even had to move for me to get healing. But pretending to enjoy my rapiest rape me, likely saved my life.

What's something odd that saved your life?
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Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Eco_Momma
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:49 PM
1 mom liked this

{{hugs}}

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:50 PM

I did the same thing When I was raped in 05, I pretend to enjoy it. I always thought I would fight back But i knew i couldnt I knew it would end bad.

I_love_my_girls
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:51 PM
I've always said that if I were ever to get raped, I'd do this. Bravo mama, you are definitely amazing in my eyes.

wrensong
by Pagan Mother on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:57 PM
1 mom liked this

 I am so sorry you wnet thru. But you survived. Rape is more about power and control than sex.

I am so glad you have healed.

Jennifer_57
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:58 PM
The lack of a lighter. I dont smoke inside, and I needed a cigarette, but no lighter to be found. I lived in a duplex at the time with the doors right next to each other. Turns out, while I was watching tv with the volume up unusually loud, I didnt bother to turn it down which was also odd, my neighbor, on the otherside of my wall was getting pistol whipped, cut and thrown around and said he was raped but later denies it. Two am rolls around and my neighbor is at my door in boxers bound and gagged looking like hed been standing next to a slaughtered cow. He almost died of bloodloss. If I wouldve been outside, I dont doubt i would have been in serious danger.. Wouldnt you know it when I slam the door (i didnt know if they were around still or not) and call 911, I found my lighter. Police took ten minutes and an ambulance twenty to get there. The news report didnt even cover a fraction of how bad it was. Descriptions were not released.. it was horrible..i couldnt even believe it.
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charliebean
by Platinum Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:59 PM

Same thing happened to me. It was really hard to pretend like that, but I too believe that it would have made things much worse had I chosen not to.

charliebean
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2012 at 12:02 AM

Oh wow, that must have been so scary. Is he okay now?

Quoting Jennifer_57:

The lack of a lighter. I dont smoke inside, and I needed a cigarette, but no lighter to be found. I lived in a duplex at the time with the doors right next to each other. Turns out, while I was watching tv with the volume up unusually loud, I didnt bother to turn it down which was also odd, my neighbor, on the otherside of my wall was getting pistol whipped, cut and thrown around and said he was raped but later denies it. Two am rolls around and my neighbor is at my door in boxers bound and gagged looking like hed been standing next to a slaughtered cow. He almost died of bloodloss. If I wouldve been outside, I dont doubt i would have been in serious danger.. Wouldnt you know it when I slam the door (i didnt know if they were around still or not) and call 911, I found my lighter. Police took ten minutes and an ambulance twenty to get there. The news report didnt even cover a fraction of how bad it was. Descriptions were not released.. it was horrible..i couldnt even believe it.





I_love_my_girls
by Bronze Member on Feb. 9, 2012 at 12:05 AM

You, ladies, are amazing. I'm grateful to have the opportunity to chat with women with this strength and resilience, thank you for sharing a tiny bit of your story. I appreciate it.




Quoting charliebean:

Same thing happened to me. It was really hard to pretend like that, but I too believe that it would have made things much worse had I chosen not to.


GumDropDiva
by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 12:07 AM
I always tell my dh that is what I would do if ever in the situation... Take the dominance alway
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Kilahs_mommy_06
by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 12:12 AM
Very brave! I always told myself I would pretend to enjoy it if I was ever raped. I'm unusually calm under stress of any sort so I fell pretty confident that I could manage to pretend to enjoy it. It's amazing that you managed to do what was necessary to get him away. Some would panic and be done for! Good for you!
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