Would you send your parents to a nursing home? or your grandparents? **UPDATED
I don't think I could ever do that.
On my dads side my great grandma was in a nursing home and I just was always sad whenever we went to see her. I have always been very compassionate so I would always wonder how it felt and what not. **She lived to be 106, she had 2 living children and at least, at LEAST, 10 grandchildren, one of which is my dad and he is a selfish prick so I wouldnt expect much, Alcoholics shouldn't help anyone but themselves. With his mom, who is now needing help, his sister went to take care of her, seems like maybe the rules have changed.
On my moms side the rules are way different. I was raised by my mom so it's been internalized in me. You never send your family to a nursing home, ever. It's like talk of betrayal.
My great grandma had 4 kids, 3 boys and a girl (my grandma). 2 Of her sons passed early. My Great Uncle and Grandma took care of her in her final days. She lived alone but as soon as she made it known that she needed someone there most of the time, they were there. **They did have an inhome nurse come every once in a while to help out, but not often and my g-gma wasn't totally bed ridden just needed some help.
If my grandma gets sick enough to where she needs care, it is expected that at least one of her kids will either move to her, or have her move in with them. My Grandma, not even 60 possibly has cancer in the mouth, severe thyroid issues, calcium build up and many other things which she refuses to share. My Great Uncle is already her trust, my mom behind that because she takes over my uncles, she already lives mostly with my uncle and the rest with my aunt. I can already tell it's going to be a battle. She just doesn't stop smoking and drinking soda and it is killing her. I have offered my home to her if she wants to stop smoking, I will do anything to help her. In my psych class we learned that women usually live longer because they feel more needed, so we are going to write letters to her about how we need her and hope she is willing to make some changes. If not, it could be fatal. :( So thats what brings up this subject.
I also since people are bringing up their spouses parents, my spouse doesn't have parents so its not something we have to face.
If I had to, yes I would. I don't know that I'll be able to care for my parents in their old age, for so many factors come into play:
What kind of care will they require?
Will I work FT, or will I be home to even PROVIDE care?
I cannot know WHAT will happen someday. Hopefully my parents stay healthy and able to sustain independent lives in their old age. I'd hate for them to be in misery or pain, either with me, or in a home.
I think I read your personal past story before, so I don't blame you.
Quoting mommasbabies77:
nah..I would just let them sit in their own sh!t and starve. Isn't it great I don't hold any responsibility toward those b@stards? My gparents from both sides passed away before I was born.
I have always said I would not put my parents in a home. I am sure I will care for them until its just too much and I dont have any other choice. But until then. My parents better stay healthy. lol
Yes. It is agreed upon between my mother and myself that if/when she gets to an age or condition in which she can not care for herself that she will be placed in a facility.
ETA: Both of my grandparents passed before the reached a point of being unable to care for themselves.
Yes.. my mom's mother had to be in a nursing home she had multiple strokes and couldn't walk, talk, move or anything for herself. I wouldn't ever be able to offer the care anyone would need. I'm not a health-care worker and I don't want to try and be one. I would rather have someone who knew how to take care of my loved ones properly be doing it.
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on Feb. 11, 2012 at 8:20 PM