My DD's godmother is racist and her SO is black and cheating on her...Just sharing not really asking advice! LONG
So the only reason I am even typing this since this really is old news, and while it hurts I know she doesn't mean any harm all the time, is because me and SO was talking about it on our walk.
DD's godmother has endured a lot of pain her 62 years of life. She was raped by a black man and her jewish husband beat her so bad she lost their baby and had to have a hysteroctomy (and yes he did beat her because of the rape because he said it was her fault).
I meet her and her SO when my mom moved to our building. Her SO who is black lived here (he rents a room) next to the room that SO has. DD's godfather and godmother have been together 19 years in July.
She took a liking to me and I really liked her too because she is funny and she would always say she is black because she kinda acts like it. She loved my daughter like she was her grandmother from the start.
Well when she moved in because she became disabled I started to notice she would say the N word a lot. Her SO didnt mind and while I was quite offended sometimes, I never said anything.
Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. Her SO did not come home and she sat down and talked to me. She was saying how she hated that he never called her when he stayed out drinking and that she always worried about him. Then she said "Please dont get offended but Im not a N woman. They let their men walk all over them". Now any one of you might have gotten offended. And I did but I handle the situation very very well. I just calmly said that most women do that. Not just black women. And I told her that she let him do whatever he wanted and that is why he is not coming home like he is supposed to.
Now fast forward to the super bowl. He told a group of people (she wasnt there) that he is cheating on her. With multiple women. And while I felt bad. I also felt like this is what happens when ANY woman doesnt do right by their man. She talks down to him, makes him feel like he is nothing and is always hounding him about something. WHILE I AM NOT TRYING TO JUSTIFY CHEATING!! I can understand how he must feel since I see first hand how she treats him.
I am staying out of it. Though she is racist, she loves my daughter, never says any of that stuff around her and is very respectful any other time. I love her and I understand her hardship and that is why I dont really care that she says that stuff. I know she means harm when she says it, I know she has a lot of hurt inside of her. Its not okay or justified but I cant really explain why I continue to let her in our lives.
Anyway, just wanted to share it. Thanks for listening.