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Funny..

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies
1 mom liked this

My husband left me 2 weeks ago saying he doesn't have feelings for me, but he cares about me and loves me as the mother of his daughter. He took his ring off and moved with his aunt and uncles. Do I think he's cheating, no. Before D day he sat across from me night after night. Always came home on time. That's whatever tho..

My point is, I understood we had issues and started marriage counseling, but the Counselor (who we really liked) had to go out for surgery and recovery for a month. A few days before the counselor came back and we were suppose to start back. My husband left.

 

I asked him if he would go to counseling again and he said no. (we had an issue come up but I miscarried) Now it seems after talking to a lawyer he can not afford, and finding out he will prob have to pay my Lawyers fee's. (I'm a stay at homemom). My lawyer is $375 an hour. I'm getting help to pay that till he is ordered to pay his portion. Plus I get to tap is retirement he's in the military) He says he wants to be amicable (he would rather just fill out a separation agreement between us, but he know I won't go for it since he did me dirty by walking out), and now wants to go to counselling with no labels tho. When I push it he says he will go to Marriage counseling which is what it is anyway. Since it's with a Chaplin and he doesn't supportdivorce. He is more willing to talk to me. He smiles and is even downright playful at times. it annoys me so bad.

I tell him how he has hurt me and he fires back with I have hurt him badly. Because I don't trust anyone (not even him and I have accused him of things) with my daughter because I was molested by my father. He says that changed the way he felt about me. He says when he was home and he looked at me I always seemed so unhappy. So after he picked up our daughter for her sat art class. He texted me and asked if I wanted Cinnabun?? Wtf??

I told him to his face I understood we had issues to deal with, but I thought we should go to counseling and give it try to save the marriage. So I was pissed, and he knows I would drag the D out because of that reason. Now he says lets do the counseling and get our feelings out there. He is being strangely agreeable to anything I want now.  Can the cost of a D really change a persons attitude like that?

So now we are headed back to counseling for one last ditch effort....

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 12, 2012 at 2:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kathienpb
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 2:37 AM
Maybe he just wants to save the marriage? I guess the cost may be on his mind but you said he didn't like seeing you sad...maybe he loves you and wants to make it better? Idk. I know some people will say he left so divorce him but he may have been frustrated because he couldn't make you happy? Whatever happens good luck and I hope it works out the way you want. :)
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DomoniqueWS
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 2:43 AM
1 mom liked this

You accused him of doing something to his child?  Was there any evidence.  

I think scheduling a date night would work wonder for you two.  At the date night it's time to put it all on the table, apologize for things that need to be apologized for, regardless of egos, and tell him you want him back at home flat out.  Ask if he will try the "Love Dare" and "5 love languages" books with you, at the same time.  You can read them seperately.  But work on it together.  

Oh and really apply what you have learned by reading the books and sharing your love language.  Its important in rekindling.  Me and my SO went through this.  When you go to the Marriage counselor make sure they are a Marriage Therapist and not just counselor, different credentials.  They are more specialized with the dynamics of relationships and communication and solving issues and connecting than a counselor is.


http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/content/therapy_professionals.html

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:32 AM

Bump up for you!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 12, 2012 at 5:25 AM

hugs.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 12, 2012 at 7:08 AM
2 moms liked this

Do you want to be with him? What if he is going to counseling to avoid the cost of a divorce and won't change? Or try to convince you to get a job so that he doesn't have to pay so much later down the road? I have a hard time trusting people as well. I've never accused my husband of doing anything with our daughter but I did bring up fears that I have not because I don't trust him (well, I try to trust him, I have something inside me that makes it hard but it's nothing to do with him) but because of things that I have been through and seen. I also ask him if he's ever cheated on me (a lot because of my stupid insecurities). Don't really know where I'm going so I think I'll just say,

If you truly want to be with him and think that he can change then yes, give it a shot, at least for your daughter (or children). If you don't think you can ever get over the things that he has done (as in leaving you and stuff that you can prove) then you should really consider divorce. Just because you are entitled to so much of his money it doesn't mean that you have to be bitter about it and take him to the cleaners. And just because he hurt you so badly doesn't mean you have to have a bad divorce. Do what you need to do for you and make sure you try to not mess up your daughter (or kids) because of this. Good luck. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 12, 2012 at 8:46 AM

WELL SAID!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 12, 2012 at 9:14 AM

What?

osubucksbaby
by Gold Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 10:39 AM
Bump for later
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 12, 2012 at 12:16 PM

Bumpin you!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 12, 2012 at 7:10 PM

a

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