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Already Happy...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies

So, I know that this is going to make me sound like a complete idiot but DH and I split up last week...he decided that some 18 year old girl with 3 children was what he wanted...and I am already completely adjusted to life without him. I don't mean to be cruel to him but this was his decision NOT MINE. The way I see it, he made this bed and must sleep in it, happy or not. I gave this man everything that I could...his home was always cleaned, we sat down to dinner together, every night, he always had clean clothes to wear and never HAD to do anything that he didn't really want to do. He went to work, came home and the rest of his evening was for him to do whatever made him happy. If he wanted to talk about something, we talked. If he wanted to go out with his friends, he went...as long as he was happy, I was supportive. IDIOT!! He came home from work 2 weeks ago and told me that he was leaving -- there was no reason behind it, he was just GONE. He moved us into a new home and was gone one week later. He left DS (5months) and I with nothing. I had 5 diapers, no wipes and a half of a can of formula. We were supposed to be going to the store that day, as tax returns had just come back...instead, I had to turn to family to help me get through --- I wasn't working at the time and he took everything out of the bank account. Sigh. What an idiot I was. 

Anyway, I am learning that happiness has come over me more than ever, now that he is gone. I know, that sounds absolutely terrible. I loved the man, really I did. But over the past several months, I have come to a point where I was no longer IN love with him. I think I was holding on for the sake of our son...So, when he decided to leave, I was torn. I knew that this meant a better life for my son and I, down the road, but I was heartbroken because he was walking out on our child. Now, I am left to answer the questions when he is old enough to understand. In 2 weeks time, this man has made absolutely NO EFFORT to contact me about our son...it's like he doesn't care. Period. No offers to buy diapers or formula, no questions, NOTHING. It's like he is just gone.

Yesterday, the baby and I got in the car and left town for a day --- we took a road trip, his very first. We traveled a total of 400 miles with absolutely NO destination. We stopped at several places and just walked around...didn't spend a penny but had an incredible time. Tonight, we are having dinner with an old high school friend of mine who is in the middle of a divorce and is looking for some moral support. Ah, that makes me sound terrible, too. I don't mean for it to...it's just that I am getting to live for the first time in a very long time and I am happy. There isn't someone yelling and complaining all the time; I don't feel forced to have things done at a certain time every day...and I'm not always questioning whether I am being mistreated. I am living with a positive outlook but there are many, many questions that still must be answered. I do know for a fact that I don't want him back in my life...I loved this man and I was miserable. I'm just thankful that HE made the decision and I didn't have to. Ah, there goes sounding cruel, again. 

I know that things are much better for us, now. I don't know when I will fully trust someone again, and I am sure that a part of me will always question whether or not I should risk someone else walking out on my son again...but for now, I am going to take things a day at a time and see where life takes me. There are many changes to be made but for the first time in forever, I feel like it is okay to be happy...and I think I know just the way to keep it that way...
 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:04 PM
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Replies (1-9):
bascha
by Silver Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:07 PM
2 moms liked this
Way to go! Isn't that the most awesome feeling, when you suddenly realize that you can be happy without him? :)
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mamacough
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:13 PM

Wow, you have a great outlook on things and that is important. Keep you head held high and enjoy your son. Positive things come to people with positive actions. :) good luck, on your journey to self discovery.!

MooreBoysMama
by Gold Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:17 PM
Best of luck to you and your son!
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noneya79
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:26 PM
Good for you! He didn't deserve you anyway! Let him have his 18 year old child! You deserve to be happy! :) and he will live with that regret when he realizes what he walked away from.
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Ataemommy
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:28 PM

Awesome. This is the same thing that happened to me, exactly. I just woke up two weeks later, full of relief and joy that that part of my life was finally over, and the new one was starting. I'm having so many more enriching experiences full of fun! Congrats! It's so much better than the alternative. And don't worry about sounding cruel -- it's pretty difficult to do, given you situation.

kathienpb
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:33 PM
That's great and you don't sound cruel. Way to go! :)
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:35 PM
That is awesome! Good for you! What a strong woman you are! *hugs* :)
ViridianSoul
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:39 PM

Good for you! Keep that positive attitude! It's nice to have a man who loves you, but when you don't (or in this case, he doesn't and proves it), you always have yourself to fall back on.

Don't feel bad about it; I felt much the same way you do when it was finally over with my ex. I knew for a long time that it was coming, and when it finally happened...well, it honestly was a relief. I was finally able to be myself, instead of hiding my feelings to keep a calm household.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:48 PM

Thanks, ladies...
I know that I am much, much better off without him. (: I loved him, at one time but I think that there is a differrence between loving someone and being IN love with them...it's two totally different situations.
I will always love him for giving me my son but I don't want him as a part of my life.
My mom stayed in a relationship with a man that she was miserable with for 15 years and grew to dislike herself and the choices that she made. I don't want to be like that. I know that my son deserves the best of everything in life and I want to give it to him...(:

It's just going to take time for me to get well adjusted to being able to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. That's something that I haven't had in years and I love, love, love the the opportunity to have it. What amazes me is that there are some men who would KILL to have what he had and who would truly appreciate it...but he threw it away for a CHILD and her children, like it didn't even matter. Wonder how well she is liking doing his cooking and cleaning AND maintaining the daily tasks of taking care of children...if only that poor girl knew what she was getting herself into. I'm just glad that he's someone else's problem...but I will definitely be praying for her. Heaven knows that she's going to need it.  

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