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I feel like I can't or don't love my son....why? - Update

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 53 Replies

 I have two children a one year old daughter and a 5 year old son.  I am always frustrated with my son, always.  He doesn't listen, fights with his sister and is rude to me.  My dh and I get wonderful compliments on him and our daughter but I can't help to think he acts better in public than with me alone.  I seem to be pissed at him all the time.  I'm angry at myself because I don't know how to get out of my funk of being angry and pissed at him.  He really hasn't done anything too wrong that a normal 5 year old wouldn't do but still I'm always yelling at him and screaming.  I'm starting to be hurtful in what I say.  I really feel like I don't love him like I should.  That hurts me to say it but I don't know how else to lable it.  I don't know who to talk to about this.

 

Thank you for all your advice!  I have really been working on just doing things together when my dd is sleeping or hanging out with DH and it has already helpped so much!  I feel like a huge weight has been lifed and he's is acting so much better and listening.  We have had a couple of trying moments but that is to be expected but still I didn't yell or scream just waited it out with him and then we talked it out.  This isn't going to be easy but it is a start.  I'm going to also talk to my doctor and see what she says as well.  Thank you all for your great advice and support!

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 12, 2012 at 5:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sarahfire
by Ruby Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 5:38 PM
1 mom liked this
It's hard when you have to focus so much attention on the baby, the older kid is probably acting out to get your attention. My older son does this too at times, he is 6 and the baby is 10 months.
Can you take a day or a few hrs to spend some one on one time with your son? That may help his behavior, also try talking to him and explaining he needs to act like a big boy. That's what I would do.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 12, 2012 at 5:39 PM
Give him up for adoption.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 12, 2012 at 5:43 PM
1 mom liked this

That was hateful... she's trying to find a way to do right by her son and asking for advice.

Quoting Anonymous:

Give him up for adoption.


mgarze
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 5:45 PM

The way your acting towards him sucks and maybe you dont care but if you continue he wont love you either..

prdmama1154
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 5:51 PM

 I only have one kid, so I don't really know what it's like to try to juggle two.  But, maybe it's tough on your son being the older one and seeing all the attention going to the little one.  Or, maybe you're really stressed out over the little one and at the end of the day you don't have a whole lot left over for him? 

If I were in the situation, I would try to find a way to spend some one on one time with the five year old.  Get someone to watch the baby and take him somewhere fun and enjoy each other's company again.  He'll probably be so happy to have your fully undivided attention. 

Remember, as far as your son is concerned, he is your baby.  He just doesn't want to be left behind y'know?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 12, 2012 at 5:56 PM

 You're right it does suck and I don't want to act that way toward him but I don't know who to ask for help or advice.  I'm frustrated to tears most days with him.  I have tried talking to him but I feel like I need a different method because staying calm doesn't last long.

Quoting mgarze:

The way your acting towards him sucks and maybe you dont care but if you continue he wont love you either..

 

Supervane
by Ruby Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 5:58 PM
Some of us would gladly adopt a child

like me! Op I ll take him jk


Quoting Anonymous:

That was hateful... she's trying to find a way to do right by her son and asking for advice.

Quoting Anonymous:

Give him up for adoption.



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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 12, 2012 at 5:59 PM

 Thank you.  I will try doing something more with him.  I don't want him to feel left behind at all.  I just need to learn to grow with him and not away from him.  Parenting is hard.  lol

Quoting prdmama1154:

 I only have one kid, so I don't really know what it's like to try to juggle two.  But, maybe it's tough on your son being the older one and seeing all the attention going to the little one.  Or, maybe you're really stressed out over the little one and at the end of the day you don't have a whole lot left over for him? 

If I were in the situation, I would try to find a way to spend some one on one time with the five year old.  Get someone to watch the baby and take him somewhere fun and enjoy each other's company again.  He'll probably be so happy to have your fully undivided attention. 

Remember, as far as your son is concerned, he is your baby.  He just doesn't want to be left behind y'know?

 

activitymode
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 6:00 PM
You need to go see a professional before hes old enough to notice how you feel about him.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 12, 2012 at 6:00 PM

Maybe not adopt but certainly for a day!  ;) 

Quoting Supervane:

Some of us would gladly adopt a child

like me! Op I ll take him jk


Quoting Anonymous:

That was hateful... she's trying to find a way to do right by her son and asking for advice.

Quoting Anonymous:

Give him up for adoption.



 

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