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Pissed off, Spitting Nails

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies

I am superpissed at my DH.

My 3 kids have been sick, alternately and sometimes overlapping, for about 6 weeks. They have been up nights, clingy, and crabby. So my housework is backed up.

We are broke and my DH has been working some OT and Sat's. But he has been late to work most days. He has tried to blame this on me by saying I need this or that before he goes to work. Well if he forgets to get the milk the night before, and has to run out in the a.m. how is that my fault? All I ask him is to empty the diaper pail because it gets stuck and I can't always open it. He has a hard time waking up in the morning, he doesn't use his alarm, and it takes me 30 min to get him up. So some of his OT is not OT but making up for lost time.

Now we had to refinance our house but he chose a company off the bat without shopping around and then we had only 3 days to sign papers. The day he wanted to fax stuff to them from work, I asked him to take a sick day because the babies were sick so long they needed to see the doc. They are both under 2 and it is not easy to have the doc see both of them, they won't get back in the stroller after beign examined.

He made me fight with him to take a sick day for this. I said call the company and ask for an extension, he made a huge fuss, and when I called they had no problem with this and we got 3 extra days. But we've been arguing ever since and I think that is contributing to our 23 mo old being clingy.

Then the next day I'd been up since 1 :00 a.m. because of sick kid and then finally doing the dishes (yes in teh middle of the night!) and that night at about 7 or so, he was pushing me to stay awake after the babies went to sleep, to sign all the papers. We had time. I did it just so he'd shut up.

I am beyond burnt, and I am sick of him making decisions that affect me, and cause me consequences, but doing so without my yea or nay. I would have shopped around for a better interest rate. That is THIS situation. But he does this all the time.

I reminded him what I'd been through in the last month with sick kids. He says "yeah I know but..." and always puts a spin on it where his needs surpass mine.

I don't get any time off. Being online here, this is it. And he's leaving me alone because he knows I'm pissed. The kids have been so fussy with colds and croup, etc, that I have not showered all week. I should be in the shower right now, but I'm washing my clothes so I have something to wear.

My life is overwhelming. I'm telling my DH that, and he's just pushng through with his priorities. He is a good provider and a decent person, a loving dad and affectionate husband...but he is also the kind of guy who thinks when everything is going HIS way, that life is roses even though I'm sitting right here telling him I'm having a hard, hard time.

He takes me for granted and I'm so pissed off I could spit nails.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 12, 2012 at 7:08 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 12, 2012 at 7:11 PM

I'm sorry mama. That really does suck. I hope things get better soon.

auroragold
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 7:13 PM

Hugs to you.......  hope it gets better soon

MamaLub
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 7:14 PM
Is there any family around to give you a break? Have him buy you a six pack and have a beer in the shower
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 12, 2012 at 7:17 PM

LOL..no the shower would be enough. the beer would just make me have a headache when I start the rat race again in the morning

I have a lot of family but no one either willing or able to help. Except my brother in law and his wife, who are retired and now spending a month in another state. My parents are gone, my mother in law is gone. I can't afford a babysitter and they're still too small for me to really leave them with some teenager anyway. So for a time, I'm really screwed.

 

Quoting MamaLub:

Is there any family around to give you a break? Have him buy you a six pack and have a beer in the shower


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 12, 2012 at 7:20 PM
You didn't have 10 minutes to yourself in the last week to shower??? Yeah - there is definitely a problem...
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 12, 2012 at 7:29 PM

I'm sorry your having such a rough time and have no one in your corner to support you and give you a break from all the stress! I totally understand how you feel with the sick kids ..... I have 3 also who have been sick non stop for the past month and it is exhausting!!! Your Dh is being selfish!! I would be highly pissed as well!! Because he is not the one who is dealing with the sick children 24/7 he has nooooo idea how much work it can be and how tiring it is ( not to mention the pain it is to take the kids to the doctor alone b/c thats a job in itself) and I don't think that is fair!! You have alot on your plate mama and he needs to realize it and put you first!! I hope everything gets better for you and the kiddos get well!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 12, 2012 at 8:09 PM

Yep. And it's actually been like this since my last child who is one this week.

In the morning, my Dh is showering. I'm making breakfast for all the kids. My oldest goes to school. Then the two youngest usually don't nap at the same time. Sometimes my middle child fights napping, though I try, and falls asleep at dinner. If not, I'm trying to get him to sleep after dinner and my DH usually has the baby. If I try to do dishes, the middle child gets clingy and starts playing in the dishwasher, so I've given up and wait til he goes to bed. Around that time, my oldest is taking a shower. Then when the babies go to bed, I pick up the dog dishes, crate the dogs, and feed the cats. Now I  have a choice: I can either shower and go to bed, and then stay awake another hour or two to feed the baby...and sometimes wake up later than that to go get the toddler who is crying to come in our bed....or I can go to sleep and actually sleep 3 hours in one stretch, hoping there might be time in the morning to shower. Occaisionally I can. But sickly enough, it turns out that I only get to showr about 3 x a week, and if not, I'd lose a lot of sleep. Just so you know, I am normally a one-shower-a-day person and in the past sometimes two if I worked out.

Quoting Anonymous:

You didn't have 10 minutes to yourself in the last week to shower??? Yeah - there is definitely a problem...


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 12, 2012 at 8:15 PM

Thank you. I appreciate what you wrote. So many times I think "Am I being a wuss?" because that's  how my DH makes me feel. I explained to him today, I don't need you to go to the doc with me forever, but my 2 yr old does not yet understand that he can't wander from the car around the parking lot - even though he can physically walk. I told DH it will be different when I can more easilly direct him and don't need both hands for both children.

It is really hard. I used to call my mother about things, and now she's gone, been gone for almost 4 years. I still miss her as much as the day she died. It never changes, I keep wishing I could call her. I have sisters but two live out of state and joy of joys, the one who lives only an hour from me never had children and is bitter and sometimes nasty, to be honest...even though we do talk often. She won't help. She figures it's my kids, my 'problem'. I used to be close to my family but after my parents died, all the nasty came out, and so they aren't really all that nice to begin with.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry your having such a rough time and have no one in your corner to support you and give you a break from all the stress! I totally understand how you feel with the sick kids ..... I have 3 also who have been sick non stop for the past month and it is exhausting!!! Your Dh is being selfish!! I would be highly pissed as well!! Because he is not the one who is dealing with the sick children 24/7 he has nooooo idea how much work it can be and how tiring it is ( not to mention the pain it is to take the kids to the doctor alone b/c thats a job in itself) and I don't think that is fair!! You have alot on your plate mama and he needs to realize it and put you first!! I hope everything gets better for you and the kiddos get well!


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