The 9/11 Cocktail (sorry kinda long)
- 15 Replies
My father was a first responder and every article like this worries me more and more, he has so many heath problems in these recent years that a man under 50 just shouldn't have. every time we speak I'm terrified that he is going to tell me that he has cancer. I know that the discovery of the "9/11 Cocktail" will be a stride in the right direction but i also worry that it will confirm what i fear that my dad wont be around to see any children i have in the future grow up or that he will continue to be to ill to be more active in my sons life. he really tries and i know he wishes he could see him more but hes in the doctors office 2-3 times a week and in constant pain... he can barely walk.
I have always felt bad for what i said to him that morning when he called me and told me a plane had crashed in Manhattan, he was supposed to enroll me in high school that day b/c i had just moved to nyc recently and couldn't find a school that we could afford or be zoned for that was safe and had ok records. but since he lived in a different area he could enroll me in his zone school and my mom was ok with that. (we never lived together) but he was an alcoholic and when he called me to wake me he told me that he couldn't take me that he was on his way to lower Manhattan b/c a plane had crashed.... i told him what ever dad enjoy your beer im going back to bed! to explain his station house was in the NW bronx so it sounded like b/s and i was hurt that his bar hopping had gotten in the way of being there for me again, needless to say about five minuets later i knew it was true and worse than he had said... i called him back and apologized and told him to be careful and that i loved him, he said it was ok and that he understood why i reacted that way but it still bothers me and i always worry about his health.
anyway i wanted to get that off my chest sorry its so long.
My dad was also an alcoholic and I can honestly see why you would think the way you did. Do not beat yourself up about it, we all have said things we regret you just have to learn from them. *HUGS*
thanks i know i shouldnt but its something that bothers me he could have did that day and thats what i said ...he doesn't drink anymore and we have a better relationship now he drank until a little after my 16th bday (i was 13 when 9/11 happened i turned 14 on 9/15) i reamed him on my myspace about not calling and wouldn't speak to him for more than a month
Quoting melakay1981:My dad was also an alcoholic and I can honestly see why you would think the way you did. Do not beat yourself up about it, we all have said things we regret you just have to learn from them. *HUGS*
Be glad that you and your dad have a good relationship now. I still hold some resentment tword my dad. Yes my dad quit drinking when my daughter was 2 and he is a wonderful grandfather to my kids but I just have a hard time getting past some of the things that happened in my house.
Quoting Anonymous:thanks i know i shouldnt but its something that bothers me he could have did that day and thats what i said ...he doesn't drink anymore and we have a better relationship now he drank until a little after my 16th bday (i was 13 when 9/11 happened i turned 14 on 9/15) i reamed him on my myspace about not calling and wouldn't speak to him for more than a month
Quoting melakay1981:My dad was also an alcoholic and I can honestly see why you would think the way you did. Do not beat yourself up about it, we all have said things we regret you just have to learn from them. *HUGS*
Im sorry i know that sometime a father can be a monster(my stepdad was) he really wasn't until i moved to nyc Alcohol came first for most of my and my brothers lives but hes a part of it now and i hope that he'll be a part of my sons life for a long time and if i have more that he'll be there to.
Quoting farther:my dad was awful. Be grateful that he was in your life, and tell your children about him
i am and he is too i know that because when we went to a biker rally he turned down drinks and said that he quit because he knew it was that or his kids and he had missed enough.
Quoting melakay1981:Be glad that you and your dad have a good relationship now. I still hold some resentment tword my dad. Yes my dad quit drinking when my daughter was 2 and he is a wonderful grandfather to my kids but I just have a hard time getting past some of the things that happened in my house.
Quoting Anonymous:thanks i know i shouldnt but its something that bothers me he could have did that day and thats what i said ...he doesn't drink anymore and we have a better relationship now he drank until a little after my 16th bday (i was 13 when 9/11 happened i turned 14 on 9/15) i reamed him on my myspace about not calling and wouldn't speak to him for more than a month
Quoting melakay1981:My dad was also an alcoholic and I can honestly see why you would think the way you did. Do not beat yourself up about it, we all have said things we regret you just have to learn from them. *HUGS*
I'm glad you see your luck... But the fact of the matter is, we teach our children, we live our lives in the now... I am happy to talk w someone in the bygone 'nother chance stage. I wish you and your family well and that you keep that strentgh to pass on. *HUGS*
That is great that your dad gave up drinking for you, my dad did it because he was told he was going to die within a few years if he did not quit.
Quoting Anonymous:i am and he is too i know that because when we went to a biker rally he turned down drinks and said that he quit because he knew it was that or his kids and he had missed enough.
Quoting melakay1981:Be glad that you and your dad have a good relationship now. I still hold some resentment tword my dad. Yes my dad quit drinking when my daughter was 2 and he is a wonderful grandfather to my kids but I just have a hard time getting past some of the things that happened in my house.
Quoting Anonymous:thanks i know i shouldnt but its something that bothers me he could have did that day and thats what i said ...he doesn't drink anymore and we have a better relationship now he drank until a little after my 16th bday (i was 13 when 9/11 happened i turned 14 on 9/15) i reamed him on my myspace about not calling and wouldn't speak to him for more than a month
Quoting melakay1981:My dad was also an alcoholic and I can honestly see why you would think the way you did. Do not beat yourself up about it, we all have said things we regret you just have to learn from them. *HUGS*
Im sorry! im glad that he did regardless of the reasons and i hope you have a chance to mend the rips in your relationship.
Quoting melakay1981:That is great that your dad gave up drinking for you, my dad did it because he was told he was going to die within a few years if he did not quit.
Quoting Anonymous:i am and he is too i know that because when we went to a biker rally he turned down drinks and said that he quit because he knew it was that or his kids and he had missed enough.
Quoting melakay1981:Be glad that you and your dad have a good relationship now. I still hold some resentment tword my dad. Yes my dad quit drinking when my daughter was 2 and he is a wonderful grandfather to my kids but I just have a hard time getting past some of the things that happened in my house.
Quoting Anonymous:thanks i know i shouldnt but its something that bothers me he could have did that day and thats what i said ...he doesn't drink anymore and we have a better relationship now he drank until a little after my 16th bday (i was 13 when 9/11 happened i turned 14 on 9/15) i reamed him on my myspace about not calling and wouldn't speak to him for more than a month
Quoting melakay1981:My dad was also an alcoholic and I can honestly see why you would think the way you did. Do not beat yourself up about it, we all have said things we regret you just have to learn from them. *HUGS*
thank you. i try to live for today but sometimes the bygone creeps up on you when you have insomnia.. <3
Quoting Anonymous:I'm glad you see your luck... But the fact of the matter is, we teach our children, we live our lives in the now... I am happy to talk w someone in the bygone 'nother chance stage. I wish you and your family well and that you keep that strentgh to pass on. *HUGS*
Happy Memorial Day.
