I really wanted to post this anonymously, but no, I have no shame, I just really need help, I love helping others and just being honest, so I would like the same. Everyone falls sometimes =]
**I have been very scattered brain today so work with me please**
To start off I love my husband and everything about him.
I am way to emotional and untrusting.
I always want to make my husband happy.
I have bad mood swings at times, since I was little I can be calm one minute then something will make me made and I go off like a bomb, they are hard to control or tell when they are gonna happen.
My husband is like me but different, so we conflict....lets just say he has the personality of a ram and I have the one of a goat....I do back down since his the man. (it can be hard at times)
We love each other, have very good communication and will do anything for each other.
I cant sleep right now because I just have so much on my mind but I hate talking about it with him at times because its hard to get it out clear....I wanted to write him a letter. I tried but I couldn't even make it make sense on paper =[
I wanted to wake him up and talk but he went to sleep late and has to get up for work at 5 and I dont want to talk to him before work because it is so much to talk about.
I just keep feeling weird and distant (random I know) so I get people get the wrong numbers but at 3:30am a private number called my husbands phone, ( it rang 3times) he has a new number so no one from his past knows this number, I have been having weird thoughts all day and that made it worse, so now I REALLY cant sleep. I have bad anxiety, it is really bad today and I don't know what triggered it.
I know he wouldnt never cheat on me physical he would leave me first.
So I really don't know what I need help with lol I do but It is very hard to share
It is a long story and to some it up, I don't trust him.
He makes me very happy and completes me but I always think the worse and get really paranoid....I have more to say but what I want to say is not how I really feel but it kind of is AGHHH! see my problem this is why it is so hard to talk to my husband!
I cant get my mind right! I have like a million ttrillion thoughts flying threw my head and I cant control them!
I know this is long and boring, I just really need some free advice....Sometimes I wish I had a free therapist/counselor to help me...like one that stayed in my mind =]
Anyways if someone read all of this please just tell me how to get past all this!!!
It is like one thing after another, never ending and always constant!!!
I just feel really dumb at times, but then it end up having a reason, so I am very nervous about this!
I bet that private number belongs to the person who use to have that number.
I get most of what your saying because i had a lot of issue with trust and being distant etc, my problems stem from my father being a complete asshole cheating dirt bag. I don't know if you have the same history but whatever it is you need to give your husband a chance to be there for you and help you through it. He can't help you if he doesn't know what's going on.
It's takes a lot of work and working through some shit but it's worth it. You don't feel so alone. I started by just opening up about my past. talking to him about what my father was like and the relationship I had with him. That gave my husband some insight on why I was the way I was and why i acted like an uncaring bitch sometimes. All defense mechanism to keep from getting hurt.
Anyway, sorry i rambled but you get what I am saying. He can't be there to support you if you don't let him in. Good luck w everything.
I pretty much had the same kind of father n he knows about because my dad showed his ass when he came to see are daughter, and I told my husband the stories but he doesn't understand or think it is from my father =[ we talk a lot but this did help because now I will just try to explain it better to him. thanks =]
Quoting Anonymous:
I get most of what your saying because i had a lot of issue with trust and being distant etc, my problems stem from my father being a complete asshole cheating dirt bag. I don't know if you have the same history but whatever it is you need to give your husband a chance to be there for you and help you through it. He can't help you if he doesn't know what's going on.
It's takes a lot of work and working through some shit but it's worth it. You don't feel so alone. I started by just opening up about my past. talking to him about what my father was like and the relationship I had with him. That gave my husband some insight on why I was the way I was and why i acted like an uncaring bitch sometimes. All defense mechanism to keep from getting hurt.
Anyway, sorry i rambled but you get what I am saying. He can't be there to support you if you don't let him in. Good luck w everything.
Happy Memorial Day.
- rayroe2
on Feb. 15, 2012 at 4:23 AM