and i'm not even going Anon on this one. =)
it makes me question-- what are the chances of YOU cheating? less? more? why? is your word/bond more significant than his?
i can and will say that my BF will not cheat on me. i can go through all the reasons why, blah, blah, blah... but point is- i know he wont. just like i know I wont cheat. there's a higher chance of both of us getting into a car accident on the same day, than one of us cheating.
WHY would someone think about the CHANCES of something happening? i dont get in my car and think "omg! there's a chance of me getting into an accident". i doubt those who are married think, "omg- there's a chance that he's gonna cheat on me".
so my question is-- for those who say that there's "a chance" of their SO's cheating-- what is YOUR chances of you cheating on him?
I was one of those who just KNEW my husband would NEVER cheat on me! We were together 10 yeas when our triplets were born and the stress of their birth and resulting care drove a wedge in our marriage. Within three years, we were complete strangers and he cheated on me! We divorced and it was such a wake up call that NO marriage is safe!
We were the couple that NO ONE thought would get divorced! We had beaten the odds! We got married at 18, I have finished college, got my masters, and almost completed my PhD without getting a divorce. I had a job I loved the entire time. He had risen through the ranks as a firefighter working 24 hours on and 48 off (which would have made it very easy for him to cheat during the 10 years before). I never had a reason not to trust him and because of it, I didn't even notice the warning signs. I made excuses for him because he was busy (of course he wasn't cheating although he spoke for $800 worth of time on his cellphone to her going over our normal plan)...Then the proof was before me and I left. We divorced...
After about 6 months he realized that the grass wasn't greener on the other side, that he had screwed up our life and he asked me for forgiveness (for the first time without the but (excuses) that was always there before). He asked me to go to counseling to help us parent our girls without fighting. Eventually the counseling turned into marriage counseling and we worked through our problems! We are back together, but I am not blind anymore. We haven't remarried, but are together and it is a slow process.
I don't think any married couple should live their life thinking that their SO might cheat, but I do FULLY believe that there is a difference in believing it could possibly happen and just being aware enough to recognize some of the signs that it's close to happening or going to happen. (Does that make sense?) I wish I had not been so blind to what was happen (or maybe I was just deluding myself? I didn't want to admit that there was a problem, so I just stuck my head in the sand until I couldn't help but face it!)...
This is proof to everyone that no one should stop taking care of their marriage .. it is something that has to be nurtured....always.... (: glad your working things out. Good for you... I love a happy ending...
Quoting IAMmomtotrips:I was one of those who just KNEW my husband would NEVER cheat on me! We were together 10 yead when our triplets were born and the stress of their birth and resulting care drove a wedge in our marriage. Within three years, we were complete strangers and he cheated on me! We divorced and it was such a wake up call that NO marriage is safe!
We were the couple that NO ONE thought would get divorced! We had beaten the odds! We got married at 18, I have finished college, got my masters, and almost completed my PhD without getting a divorce. I had a job I loved the entire time. He had risen through the ranks as a firefighter working 24 hours on and 48 off (which would have made it very easy for him to cheat during the 10 years before). I never had a reason not to trust him and because of it, I didn't even notice the warning signs. I made excuses for him because he was busy (of course he wasn't cheating although he spoke for $800 worth of time on his cellphone to her going over our normal plan)...Then the proof was before me and I left. We divorced...
After about 6 months he realized that the grass wasn't greener on the other side, that he had screwed up our life and he asked me for forgivness (for the first time without the but (excuses) that was always there before). He asked me to go to counseling to help us parent our girls without fighting. Eventually the counseling turned into marriage counseling and we worked through our problems! We are back together, but I am not blind anymore. We haven't remarried, but are together and it is a slow process.
I don't think any married couple should live their life thinking that their SO might cheat, but I do FULLY believe that there is a difference in believing it could possibly happen and just being aware to recognize some of the signs that it close to happen or going to happen. (Does that make sense?) I wish I had not been so blind to what was happen (or maybe I was just deluding myself? I didn't want to admit that there was a problem, so I just stuck my head in the sand until I couldn't help but face it!)...
Quoting LoveMyLos:
If i thought my dh would cheat or i thought i would cheat, why the hell would we get married and have kids?
Exactly. I wouldn't have married my husband, and he wouldn't have married me, let alone produce children out of our marriage if we didn't have 100% trust in one another to be loyal to our family.
Quoting LoveMyLos:
If i thought my dh would cheat or i thought i would cheat, why the hell would we get married and have kids?
Quoting IAMmomtotrips:I was one of those who just KNEW my husband would NEVER cheat on me! We were together 10 yeas when our triplets were born and the stress of their birth and resulting care drove a wedge in our marriage. Within three years, we were complete strangers and he cheated on me! We divorced and it was such a wake up call that NO marriage is safe!
We were the couple that NO ONE thought would get divorced! We had beaten the odds! We got married at 18, I have finished college, got my masters, and almost completed my PhD without getting a divorce. I had a job I loved the entire time. He had risen through the ranks as a firefighter working 24 hours on and 48 off (which would have made it very easy for him to cheat during the 10 years before). I never had a reason not to trust him and because of it, I didn't even notice the warning signs. I made excuses for him because he was busy (of course he wasn't cheating although he spoke for $800 worth of time on his cellphone to her going over our normal plan)...Then the proof was before me and I left. We divorced...
After about 6 months he realized that the grass wasn't greener on the other side, that he had screwed up our life and he asked me for forgiveness (for the first time without the but (excuses) that was always there before). He asked me to go to counseling to help us parent our girls without fighting. Eventually the counseling turned into marriage counseling and we worked through our problems! We are back together, but I am not blind anymore. We haven't remarried, but are together and it is a slow process.
I don't think any married couple should live their life thinking that their SO might cheat, but I do FULLY believe that there is a difference in believing it could possibly happen and just being aware enough to recognize some of the signs that it's close to happening or going to happen. (Does that make sense?) I wish I had not been so blind to what was happen (or maybe I was just deluding myself? I didn't want to admit that there was a problem, so I just stuck my head in the sand until I couldn't help but face it!)...
Happy Memorial Day.
- Shy_Dia
on Feb. 16, 2012 at 1:23 PM