I had the most awkward conversation with my mom today **TMI**.
We are both sick, so we had Dr appointments at 1:15 and 1:30, so we just rode together. After we left we went into town to get our prescriptions filled. I needed batteries (for a vibrator). Our conversation went like this.
Me: hey while were in town I need to get some batteries.
Mom: what for? We have a bunch of batteries at home you can have.
Me: I've looked at those the're not the kind I need
Mom: well what do you need them for?
Me: **silent**
Mom: well? What do you need them for?
Me: I really don't want to tell you.
Mom: ohhh! The're for your DILDO!!!
Me: omg mama! I don't ever what you hear that come out of your mouth again! How do you even know I have a dildo?
Mom: I saw it once when I was looking in your room for something. So tell me it IS for your dildo isn't it!?!?
Me: I really don't want to be having this conversation with you right now. And no it is not its for my bullet.
Mom:Aw ok so its for a vibrator.
Me: Mama! Can we drop it please!
Mom: ok ok fine.
So we go to the store, pick up our prescriptions, and do a little grocery shopping (ended up not getting batteries, we forgot, plus we were just exhausted because were both sick). When we got home and was putting the grocerys away, my mom decided to talk to me about it again.
Mom: you know, I've been thinking about this hole dildo thing, and I have to say...I approve.
Me: mama!
Mom: what? I'm just saying at least this way you won't get pregnant again lol.
Me: this is a very awkward conversation.
Mom: I have a dildo.
Me: omg. I can't see color!!! I need brain bleach! I am going to go beat my already hurting head againced a wall now. Can we please drop this. And never bring it back up again?
Mom: fine, but I don't really have a dildo, I just said it to get a reaction out of you.
Ugh! I'm pretty sure that's trumps the sex talk, in awkward conversations lol.
Me: hey while were in town I need to get some batteries.
Mom: what for? We have a bunch of batteries at home you can have.
Me: I've looked at those the're not the kind I need
Mom: well what do you need them for?
Me: **silent**
Mom: well? What do you need them for?
Me: I really don't want to tell you.
Mom: ohhh! The're for your DILDO!!!
Me: omg mama! I don't ever what you hear that come out of your mouth again! How do you even know I have a dildo?
Mom: I saw it once when I was looking in your room for something. So tell me it IS for your dildo isn't it!?!?
Me: I really don't want to be having this conversation with you right now. And no it is not its for my bullet.
Mom:Aw ok so its for a vibrator.
Me: Mama! Can we drop it please!
Mom: ok ok fine.
So we go to the store, pick up our prescriptions, and do a little grocery shopping (ended up not getting batteries, we forgot, plus we were just exhausted because were both sick). When we got home and was putting the grocerys away, my mom decided to talk to me about it again.
Mom: you know, I've been thinking about this hole dildo thing, and I have to say...I approve.
Me: mama!
Mom: what? I'm just saying at least this way you won't get pregnant again lol.
Me: this is a very awkward conversation.
Mom: I have a dildo.
Me: omg. I can't see color!!! I need brain bleach! I am going to go beat my already hurting head againced a wall now. Can we please drop this. And never bring it back up again?
Mom: fine, but I don't really have a dildo, I just said it to get a reaction out of you.
Ugh! I'm pretty sure that's trumps the sex talk, in awkward conversations lol.
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on Feb. 17, 2012 at 1:55 AM
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by Anonymous
on Feb. 17, 2012 at 1:57 AM
i found my moms a few weeks ago..lol. and then she showed me her straps under her bed...awkwarddddd.
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by Anonymous
on Feb. 17, 2012 at 2:01 AM
5 moms liked this
You're a mom too dude. She was your age once. SHes just another women with sexual needs. This conversation would of been completely normal for me and my mom.
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by
Bronze Member
on Feb. 17, 2012 at 2:01 AM
Ohhh... my mom has recommended butt plugs for beginners, nipple clamps, lube, you name it.
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by
Silver Member
on Feb. 17, 2012 at 2:01 AM
Oddly enough, I don't find that a very strange conversation. But then again, I grew up with my sister. She has no brain to mouth filter when it comes to this stuff...
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by
Bronze Member
on Feb. 17, 2012 at 2:05 AM
3 moms liked this
I totally lol'ed over the "I can't see color" part. The whole story is hilarious but that shit is priceless. BTW you wrote "hole dildo thing" not whole. Did you realize that? Please tell me no. No don't!! It's funnier this way. LMAO!!!!!!!!
by
Bronze Member
on Feb. 17, 2012 at 2:09 AM
ROTFL!!! That was the awesomest thing I think I have read all day haha
by
Member
on Feb. 17, 2012 at 2:09 AM
my mom told me a few months ago she need lube but did not know were to find it in the store I said by the condoms she just gave me a look like I was crazy and ask how I knew that Hello I am 31 yo have a 11yo, 9yo and almost 5 yo I don't want any more kids and even thought my tubes are tied I am not taking any chances.
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on Feb. 17, 2012 at 1:55 AM