Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I'm considering leaving DH and not taking my kids.*UPDATE**UPDATE 2**

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 899 Replies
16 moms liked this
I know society frowns upon mothers who leave their kids behind,but they have a good lifestyle with DH,a great house,private schools,and (I'm sure this will get me more bashings still)a nanny.I can't afford that life for them right now,I'm unemployed and I need to get on my feet first,get a job,my own place,etc

DH isn't abusive,and he used to be a very good dad,I just can't be with him anymore,everyday in this house kills me a little bit more,I don't like him,I'm falling out of love with him.I want a divorce so badly,so urgently...I'm just hoping that one day my kids won't judge me too harshly for this.It won't be permanent.

Update

Thank you to everyone who replied,I know it was sometimes frustrating thinking I "won't take your advice",its hard to explain the situation you live in to a 3rd person,especially over the net,there's obviously a lot I haven't stated,how could I?its too much.

And to the ones who said "bad mom,selfish bitch,you don't deserve kids etc"you don't make me feel bad,because nothing you said was true,SO I just rolled my eyes at your tantrums,and moved along to more constructive posts.

As a mom,I can understand where a lot of you are coming from,but I can't act on my emotions alone,I have to be realistic,its hard realizing that the best place for my kids might not be with me for now,that I might have to let go a little bit to strengthen all our futures.

Lastly,I'm moving 2 hours away,first month,then look for a place close to their school and house,first month I'd drive to be with them several times a week,and after I get a place closer to them,I can continue to pick them up from school everyday and spend afternoons with them,while I don't work,if I find a job,I'll still see them after work,and during holidays.<
UPDATE 2
br />
Thank you again,I've seen such amazing women in this post,that have given me food for thought,some have even made me really hope for my marriage to work,I didn't have the slightest interest in that when I started this post,I enjoyed reading the stories of those women,I wish I could have read many more stories of getting through the tough times in marriage.

There others I would like to thank are the ones with stories from their childhoods,and those with alternate suggestions,I was in such a dark place when I wrote this post,now I see that my options are not as limited as I thought.

I expected to be so bashed,I was surprised at the compassion,even from moms who didn't agree with me.Thank you moms.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 19, 2012 at 3:00 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
aidyns_mommy
by Platinum Member on Feb. 19, 2012 at 3:02 AM
29 moms liked this
Marriage counceling? Individual counceling?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
iloveconan
by on Feb. 19, 2012 at 3:02 AM
16 moms liked this
If he has a nice income, you may be able to get some alimony. That could put you in a position where you could at least share custody. Sounds like a sad situation.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
JT32606_
by on Feb. 19, 2012 at 3:03 AM
12 moms liked this
Ya know there are programs for single struggling moms that will help you get back on your feet.
That could be a nasty battle of you leave your kids :(
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
JT32606_
by on Feb. 19, 2012 at 3:03 AM
1 mom liked this
*if
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
southernchick06
by on Feb. 19, 2012 at 3:03 AM
9 moms liked this
Have yall tried talking to a councler?

Honstly I think leaveing them until you get on your feet is a good idea. they will have enogh to deal with without haveing to uproot their whole lives

Good luck hun
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 19, 2012 at 3:04 AM
35 moms liked this

Do what you must but be forewarned that courts ALSO frown upon mothers who leave their children.
Your husband can use that against you and keep custody of the kids if you ever do decide that you can take care of them and it'll be tough shit for you.

GAGAhatesitall
by on Feb. 19, 2012 at 3:04 AM
59 moms liked this
What do you mean by "used to be a good dad"?

Not sure if I could ever leave my babies behind, but if I did, it wouldn't be with someone who "used" to be a good dad. Maybe I misunderstood.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
KrissyKC
by Platinum Member on Feb. 19, 2012 at 3:04 AM
79 moms liked this

Sounds like DH isn't the problem.   You are having problems inside of yourself.   You don't feel like you or your life has any value or anything.

I suggest individual counseling and find hobbies and interests that give you value as a person.   You feel lost in your husband's world and don't have much in your own.


TaughtTot
by on Feb. 19, 2012 at 3:05 AM
6 moms liked this

That sucks, have you tried therapy, love dare, five love languages, anything?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 19, 2012 at 3:06 AM
49 moms liked this
Sometimes motherhood calls us to be completely unselfish. If you know you can't care for them right now, then you are making the right choice. Just make sure you can visit with them often and let them know it isn't their fault. Please keep a good relationship with your ex. My parents were still best friends after their divorce and as such I didn't suffer from it in the slightest.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured