I'm considering leaving DH and not taking my kids.*UPDATE**UPDATE 2**

[Anonymous]

I know society frowns upon mothers who leave their kids behind,but they have a good lifestyle with DH,a great house,private schools,and (I'm sure this will get me more bashings still)a nanny.I can't afford that life for them right now,I'm unemployed and I need to get on my feet first,get a job,my own place,etc

DH isn't abusive,and he used to be a very good dad,I just can't be with him anymore,everyday in this house kills me a little bit more,I don't like him,I'm falling out of love with him.I want a divorce so badly,so urgently...I'm just hoping that one day my kids won't judge me too harshly for this.It won't be permanent.

Update

Thank you to everyone who replied,I know it was sometimes frustrating thinking I "won't take your advice",its hard to explain the situation you live in to a 3rd person,especially over the net,there's obviously a lot I haven't stated,how could I?its too much.

And to the ones who said "bad mom,selfish bitch,you don't deserve kids etc"you don't make me feel bad,because nothing you said was true,SO I just rolled my eyes at your tantrums,and moved along to more constructive posts.

As a mom,I can understand where a lot of you are coming from,but I can't act on my emotions alone,I have to be realistic,its hard realizing that the best place for my kids might not be with me for now,that I might have to let go a little bit to strengthen all our futures.

Lastly,I'm moving 2 hours away,first month,then look for a place close to their school and house,first month I'd drive to be with them several times a week,and after I get a place closer to them,I can continue to pick them up from school everyday and spend afternoons with them,while I don't work,if I find a job,I'll still see them after work,and during holidays.<
UPDATE 2
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Thank you again,I've seen such amazing women in this post,that have given me food for thought,some have even made me really hope for my marriage to work,I didn't have the slightest interest in that when I started this post,I enjoyed reading the stories of those women,I wish I could have read many more stories of getting through the tough times in marriage.

There others I would like to thank are the ones with stories from their childhoods,and those with alternate suggestions,I was in such a dark place when I wrote this post,now I see that my options are not as limited as I thought.

I expected to be so bashed,I was surprised at the compassion,even from moms who didn't agree with me.Thank you moms.

[Anonymous]

i think you are very selfish

[NikiSellers0806]

Bless your heart, I hope everything works out for you. Be strong and know that even though you have to make hard decisions as a mom if you are doing in your heart of hearts what feel is in your kids best interest then you are doing the right thing. Wish you the best! (((((hugs)))))

[lovelove211]

It sounds like you just need time alone to clear your head and decide what you want to do. Goodluck

[babie113]

Do what you feel is best for you and your kids i think you have the right idea .

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

You know,at that time,I didn't notice the level of hate in her reply,because I was going through so much worse,I was in a dark place and her poison was like a drop in the ocean,I barely felt it.

But now,now that I'm clearer,and doing better,WOW!!maybe she was going through something too,there's NO way,a happy,content person could muster up THAT much hate for a stranger,whose life she knows so little about.In a way,I feel sorry for her.

Quoting Crazy-Steph:

If you were truly happy in your life, you would have no reason to try to drag someone down. You would actually want other people to experience the joy that you feel every day. But it evident, from your insults to a human being that is clearly suffering, you are missing something in your life.

Quoting Melanie420:

like i said im not jealous of your nanny because I had a kid to be a mother to him and thats what I am, not to sit around on my lazy ass all day and do nothing. I dont need a nanny and I have no need for one, only a piss poor excuse for a woman sits at home unemployed with a nanny that her husband pays for since you dont work and does nothing at all with her life..........please bitch, im not jealous of your life, im glad I dont have your life, I have a beautiful family, a husband who loves me and a son who loves me cause I actually take care of him, even if my life was a fucked up shithole like yours I still would NEVER leave my child behind, you lazy selfish piece of shit, no ones jealous of you or your fucking nanny

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

For doing what?

Quoting Anonymous:

i think you are very selfish

[Melanie420]

I am happy and I dont leave my kids, especially with someone im leaving and this post is old

Quoting Crazy-Steph:

If you were truly happy in your life, you would have no reason to try to drag someone down. You would actually want other people to experience the joy that you feel every day. But it evident, from your insults to a human being that is clearly suffering, you are missing something in your life.

Quoting Melanie420:

like i said im not jealous of your nanny because I had a kid to be a mother to him and thats what I am, not to sit around on my lazy ass all day and do nothing. I dont need a nanny and I have no need for one, only a piss poor excuse for a woman sits at home unemployed with a nanny that her husband pays for since you dont work and does nothing at all with her life..........please bitch, im not jealous of your life, im glad I dont have your life, I have a beautiful family, a husband who loves me and a son who loves me cause I actually take care of him, even if my life was a fucked up shithole like yours I still would NEVER leave my child behind, you lazy selfish piece of shit, no ones jealous of you or your fucking nanny

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Their father,the other half of why they are in this world,the only person who loves them as much as I do.Their father,get it?the man I made them with?they are as much his as they are mine?no?

Quoting Melanie420:

I am happy and I dont leave my kids, especially with someone im leaving and this post is old

Quoting Crazy-Steph:

If you were truly happy in your life, you would have no reason to try to drag someone down. You would actually want other people to experience the joy that you feel every day. But it evident, from your insults to a human being that is clearly suffering, you are missing something in your life.

Quoting Melanie420:

like i said im not jealous of your nanny because I had a kid to be a mother to him and thats what I am, not to sit around on my lazy ass all day and do nothing. I dont need a nanny and I have no need for one, only a piss poor excuse for a woman sits at home unemployed with a nanny that her husband pays for since you dont work and does nothing at all with her life..........please bitch, im not jealous of your life, im glad I dont have your life, I have a beautiful family, a husband who loves me and a son who loves me cause I actually take care of him, even if my life was a fucked up shithole like yours I still would NEVER leave my child behind, you lazy selfish piece of shit, no ones jealous of you or your fucking nanny

[paulierox]

well in 2010 i did leave mine behind for about 8 months. at that time i really had no choice i was almost forced by my now ex to leave them. and i regret it. i had a menial part time job bringing in some money and i thought too like you that leaving till i found better was for the best. but you know after i left my ex went totally down hill drinking binges, smoking, leaving the kids alone for hours on end (they were 17,15, and 5) it was terrible. finally i said fuck it and filed for divorce and you know whaat my two younger kids ( 17 & 6 now) live with me. i have joint custody with me as primary parent. i cant take back those months but to hear my 17 year old son say those were the worst months of his life, will haunt me forever. make sure it is what you reallly want before you turn their whole world upside down.