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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

if i didnt have my son...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 5 Replies

i'd either be dead or on drugs.

many people say that its probably not true, that i'd still accomplish all that i have (graduated high school, college, got a career, etc) but i know its true

how do i know?

b/c i still want to kill myself, but he's the only thing stopping me.. i'm trying to find things to enjoy (to find myself/my life worth living), but honestly- i have no idea what i'd enjoy. (what do you enjoy?)


i still want to do drugs. i havent touched drugs in almost 7 years.. and weed- in over a year (it was more social; once every few months... although i think i've found a new addiction of smoking this hookah/shi sha thing and i'm not quite sure on how to stop.. its like i GOTTA smoke every night. at work, i'm thinking that i cant wait to go home and get ds into bed so i can smoke, etc)

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2012 at 10:56 PM
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Replies (1-5):
rebmarie90
by on Feb. 21, 2012 at 11:01 PM

Maybe try and seek counseling? 

It sounds like you have an addictive personality, which I think you know. I feel the same as you do about my son. He saved me from making some bad choices. Something that has helped me is God. I find comfort in Him. 

I know that path isn't right for everyone and not knowing your personal beliefs I don't want to push something on you, it is just something that has helped me. I never had an issue with drugs so hopefully someone can give you some personal experiance advice! Good Luck and I hope you get what you are looking for. 

MommySwag88
by on Feb. 21, 2012 at 11:01 PM

To be honest, I said the same thing, and meant every word of it. I called my DH my crutch because he gave my life back. The minute I got with him it was like a little glimmer of actually wanting to live came to me, and then when he gave me my daughter...it was a done deal, i didnt just want to live, I needed to, so with him being my crutch my kids are my anchors...I honestly feel like they saved my life

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2012 at 11:07 PM

i cant afford therapy. i cant go to the free clinic since i do have insurance, but i still gotta pay $110 per session! =( thats the cheapest around here.

religion-- i'm gonna say no. i plan to go to church, but i've been planning on it for almost a year now. maybe i just need to suck it up and go.

and yea-- i realized my addictive personality just recently-- like within the last week.. i'm smoking right now, and before, it was once every few weeks.. now- this is like my 2nd week of smoking straight

Quoting rebmarie90:

Maybe try and seek counseling? 

It sounds like you have an addictive personality, which I think you know. I feel the same as you do about my son. He saved me from making some bad choices. Something that has helped me is God. I find comfort in Him. 

I know that path isn't right for everyone and not knowing your personal beliefs I don't want to push something on you, it is just something that has helped me. I never had an issue with drugs so hopefully someone can give you some personal experiance advice! Good Luck and I hope you get what you are looking for. 


rebmarie90
by on Feb. 21, 2012 at 11:14 PM

I don't know how all churches work but a lot offer cheap/free therapy so it may help. My church offers a ministery for people in your situation. 

I wish I could give you some advice on what to do, I just have no idea besides for what helped me which I have already said, and my sitiuation is different. 

Quoting Anonymous:

i cant afford therapy. i cant go to the free clinic since i do have insurance, but i still gotta pay $110 per session! =( thats the cheapest around here.

religion-- i'm gonna say no. i plan to go to church, but i've been planning on it for almost a year now. maybe i just need to suck it up and go.

and yea-- i realized my addictive personality just recently-- like within the last week.. i'm smoking right now, and before, it was once every few weeks.. now- this is like my 2nd week of smoking straight

Quoting rebmarie90:

Maybe try and seek counseling? 

It sounds like you have an addictive personality, which I think you know. I feel the same as you do about my son. He saved me from making some bad choices. Something that has helped me is God. I find comfort in Him. 

I know that path isn't right for everyone and not knowing your personal beliefs I don't want to push something on you, it is just something that has helped me. I never had an issue with drugs so hopefully someone can give you some personal experiance advice! Good Luck and I hope you get what you are looking for. 



Brandistites
by on Feb. 21, 2012 at 11:53 PM

I was 17 when I had my son. My parents were drug addicts, so drugs were never discouraged. I had a hard life growing up. As soon as I found out I was pregnant my whole world changed. I live a drug free lifestyle so my kids dont have to go through what I did. I waited 5 more years to have another child. I also believe that I would have tried drugs if I hadnt had my DS. I am so thankful that he saved me from that hard road. I have severe depression.. like to were it becomes your personality. When I had him I swore I would never kill myself because He needs his mom... My exdh felt the opposite "They would be better off without me". Everyone is different. Counceling really helped me a ton. It feels nice when you can tell someone something and they cant tell anyone (Unless you want to hurt yourself seriouslly). You can tell friends you feel something.. and they can use it against you later. Counselors really help to get things off your chest so you dont have a relapse or hurt yourself in a weak moment.

I think it is great that you have refrained from doing things for 7 years. Your child is so worth it... but you know that.

baby growth

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