I did something awful today.....

[Mamainthemiddle]

I told my little girl to "shut her mouth"  today. :( I dont do it. I cant believe i used that "bad word" and I know i messed up everything Ive impressed in my kids with that one mistake. 

Here's the story....

I walked in as my girls were settling into bed and I heard my middle daughter say "you're nobody. we hate you,  because youre so ugly and skinny and sick. I immediately thought "am I some abusive mom?! Have i said these things and didnt know it?!" but then it hit me. Her dad's divorce....Nasty things have been said with him and his (?) wife. While I've found a sound place to land after our divorce, he seems to flounder. In his defense, he was stupid but not criminal in marrying his girlfriend when she got pregnant. It's been a hard road for them (it often is in that situation), and I wish I didnt know as much as i do. We've talked about him keeping things away from DD, but it seems my advice dissolves when he drives away. The worst is that they have a sweet, sweet little girl I watch sometimes and love very much. I'm sure that seems weird, but we've always been as Whole as we can as a family. Our choices shouldnt mess with our kids' security, or that's the matra we live from...

My real issue isnt with his life, because it's his. It's with  WHAT I SAID. I said "shut your mouth, RIGHT NOW! THATS TERRIBLE! Ella is SWEET! she's kind and beautiful, just like you. no one will EVER say otherwise." I still hear it. It was so weak, and at the same time, decisive. I made it so that she can't disagree.

I made a million mistakes in on sentence....what do i do to fix this? :/

** I should include that my younger daughter, the one that was insulted, has a blood disorder like myself and IS pale, thin, but gorgeous. :)**

[Anonymous]

What?

[melakay1981]

Tell her you are sorry, I said something to my daughter one time that I still regret to this day and honestly I am 100% sure she does not remember it.  Do not beat yourself up about it, just learn from your mistake.

[Mamainthemiddle]

i cant believe that, even on your phone, you bothered to reply with that. Re-read or go away. I dont speak a different language, friend.

[IDidYourMom8709]

I don't think you did anything wrong. Your middle child was being mean for no reason. I'd have said the same.

[southernchick06]

I think your being to hard on yourself. If its something that is eating at you when your kids wake up tomorrow sit them down apoligize to them and explain why it was wrong. And again explain to dd why what she said was wrong and hurtful. Dont beat yourself up about it we all make mistakes. Its also a good learning lission for your kids thst your not perfect and thats ok:) good luck hun. Stop beating yourself up about it.

[Sparkey6987]

You could have said a lot worse. This is a stressful time for you all, and you said something that wasn't very nice. Don't beat yourself up over it, just talk to her. Apologize for what you said, and make her apologize to her sister. Then, move on :)

[Mamainthemiddle]

I didnt mean you, melakay! the times that we sent messages seemed to make it look that way, but i truly appreciate the input. :)

[sweetieiv]

im sorry I dont see the "bad" word in your sentence. but anyways I do believe you did the right thing in,telling her not to talk like thst to her sister or aboit her sister. its not rigjt for sisters to put eachother down.

[luvcloudydays]

When you grow some balls, stick to them! You did the right thing, and you said it JUST right. *applause*

[Becky.Mom.of.2]

I think you are being too hard on yourself.