See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
I've been with my S/O for 11 years, minus a two year break thrown in. We've been through everything. Severe financial hardships to the point of eviction, him having cancer; me having pre-cancer and getting through tough times with relationships to do with our other family members. But the last two months has been the worst, not just for me but him.
I was diagnosed with a not very common medical condition around November last year. At first we coped ok with the diagnosis, and at the time I was still working on a casual basis. But over time I continued to feel worse, until I started another medication in mid January for it. Since then, everything has gone AWOL.
We have been wanting to move up the coastal line for over a year; a better chance to de-stress and be in an environment that makes us happy. But the medical conditions contradict the place we want to move to, because it requires close monitoring. He is finding this hard to come to terms with, and lately has become bitter and resentful.
We now fight constantly, and he picks over the smallest things. He has trouble eating, and is always in bed or moping around the house. He wants so badly to get up there, that he asked his Parents if he could move back in with them (they are on the coast) - But they plain out refuse, as they feel he should be here taking care of me. He now thinks they are giving him the "shift" and takes his anger out on me and the kids for it. There is nothing I can do, as I have no control over the situation.
I called his Mother this morning, and asked if she would consider letting him go up there for a break. But I knew what her answer would be. At the moment I have trouble driving, as one of the medications I take effects my vision. I don't want him gone, and I don't want our relationship to end. But I've done everything I can to try and help the situation. From helping him as much as I can personally, to talking to his Mother. But when I get sick again at any time of the day or night, it triggers him off to get upset again. Truly, I think he is having a nervous breakdown.
The more he is forced to stay here, the more he resents being with me and the kids. And his parents won't back down from their decisions. Myself and the kids are now paying for this, because he feels he has nowhere to go. He can't get his own place, because he has no money. He can't go to his Parents house, and in his words he doesn't want to be here. I feel now as well, like I'm literally being forced to live his misery and it isn't helping my health; or the health of my kids.
I would gladly tell him to go so he can claim his own sanity. But I now feel like a total stranger to my own S/O. I'm the one now fighting to keep the family together, and physically I don't know if I've got that capacity. The kids are paying more than what I or SO ever would. I just wish he would see it for what it is... I apologise for the vent. *Sigh*