I will be the first to say my son is pretty good most of the time. He keeps his room clean, very rarely mouths off, does great in school, and doesn't watch much tv or video games.
BUT...lately I can tell its become an issue of him not taking full responsibility for his actions. I don't know how else to explain it. Here is what happened tonight...
His baseball league was having Opening Ceremonies and there are tons of games, jumpers, food, etc. Well he played on this bungy jumper for a few turns and then asked for cotton candy. My husband went and got it, but the people didn't know how to run it right so it was small and looked weird. Instead of being grateful, my son got upset because it wasn't huge. I told him it was not nice and he could either eat what was given to him or we would find another child to give it to. So he apologized, took it, and ate without further comments. After he asked if he could do the bungy thing again and then do the laser tag, which we said lets do one thing at a time. So he ran off and got in line for the bungy jumper. While in line my husband said he wanted to take him to a booth that had batting gloves because he needs a new pair. My son said fine, but when his turn was over he ran and hid. We found him and he ran again. When I got to him again I told him that he will not be doing laser tag and now will not be getting new gloves. We are leaving, please go to the car. Of course, this did not go over well. He cried, normal 8 year old tantrum. My husband and I walked away - knowing he would follow. I am not a parent that repeatedly tells a child over and over and over and over to do the same thing. I find it rude. I expect something done the one time I ask it. Yes he followed and the entire time walk was saying it was his dad's fault, he is mad, why do we have to go...etc.
I have decided that I will not be driving him to baseball tomorrow and a birthday part that he was supposed to go to. I will not be disrespected, talked to with attitude, then still be expected to take my child to activities and fun things. Its punishment for me too. I cannot tell you how much I LOVE LOVE to see him play baseball. He is really good at it and its just a fun sport to watch children play. I HATE that I won't get to see him tomorrow, but I don't know what else to do. I have made him write apology letters, its still happening. I have taken items away, its still happening. I made him call my inlaws and my sister in law to let them know he will not be playing tomorrow so they do not need to come watch. I think it was important for him to see that its not only him he is affecting as many people will now not be going because of his choices tonight.
I read this book Have A New Kid By Friday a couple of years ago for a paper I wrote. I liked the general ideas and suggestions and this is one of them. My son is only 8, but I would rather be stern now and keep consistent then have an out of control, mouth, rude, disrespectful teenager. I feel like a shitty mom right now and I am crying But I do not know what else to do. Word of advice, more suggestions, criticism, and agreement are all welcome.
Sounds like a communication issue. I understand the running and hiding was a bit over the top, but seems like he just needs to know that when he wants to express a dislike for something, there is a time and place to express it.
I know his team depends on him, which is something I explained. He knows not just him are being affected...its us, his team, his coaches, his grandparents, aunt, and his cousin (who loves him playing baseball more than anyone). I feel. The HORRIBLE, but have no idea what else to do. The easy thing to do is go back on my word, just to make everyone happy. Instead we are staying home and getting some stuff done around the house...and he is helping.
Quoting zianneaaliyah:Sounds like a communication issue. I understand the running and hiding was a bit over the top, but seems like he just needs to know that when he wants to express a dislike for something, there is a time and place to express it.
I agree with you and your punishments. I've begun to do the same with my kids, my two girls are 7 and 6 years old and sometimes I just want to scream because lately their lack of respect and attitudes have been off the wall. My 6 year old was really excited for today because I had told her that we'd go to the skate park and she could practice on her skateboard and then tomorrow she had plans to go to the park with a friend...well yesterday she got into serious trouble because of a fight with her sister, so she didn't get to go to the skate park today and she's not going out with her friend tomorrow. She cried and begged for me to let her go, promised she'd never fight with her sister again, etc. It sucks because I understand siblings fight, I have a sister of my own, but the fights are getting out of hand and other forms of discipline aren't doing anything to make it stop.
A few months ago my 7 year old was so disrespectful and mouthy my husband and I told her she wasn't going on a planned trip with her grandparents, she also lost all of her toys, wasn't allowed TV or the computer and had to apologize for her behavior and she had to explain to her grandparents why she wasn't going on the trip with them. She hasn't had a serious tantrum since that day.
I would just remind him that when he's feeling upset or he doesn't like something that he can politely ask can he talk or say something and then he can tell you how he is feeling and you will hear him out and you'll decide what to do from there.
Quoting bellawomen:
I agree. How to fix that? Any other time he communicates fine, but when he doesn't agree or dislikes something he doesn't.
Quoting zianneaaliyah:Sounds like a communication issue. I understand the running and hiding was a bit over the top, but seems like he just needs to know that when he wants to express a dislike for something, there is a time and place to express it.
It sound's like you already know you are doing the right thing. Hang in there Momma! Its worth it in the long wrong and things will get better!
Do you ever get hit on even looking a mess?
Why inflict this silly cosmetic pain on a baby!?!
- bellawomen
on Feb. 24, 2012 at 11:43 PM