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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Ugh I hate parenting sometimes

Posted by on Feb. 24, 2012 at 11:43 PM
  • 10 Replies

I will be the first to say my son is pretty good most of the time.  He keeps his room clean, very rarely mouths off, does great in school, and doesn't watch much tv or video games.

BUT...lately I can tell its become an issue of him not taking full responsibility for his actions.  I don't know how else to explain it.  Here is what happened tonight...

His baseball league was having Opening Ceremonies and there are tons of games, jumpers, food, etc.  Well he played on this bungy jumper for a few turns and then asked for cotton candy.  My husband went and got it, but the people didn't know how to run it right so it was small and looked weird.  Instead of being grateful, my son got upset because it wasn't huge.  I told him it was not nice and he could either eat what was given to him or we would find another child to give it to.  So he apologized, took it, and ate without further comments.  After he asked if he could do the bungy thing again and then do the laser tag, which we said lets do one thing at a time.  So he ran off and got in line for the bungy jumper.  While in line my husband said he wanted to take him to a booth that had batting gloves because he needs a new pair.  My son said fine, but when his turn was over he ran and hid.  We found him and he ran again.  When I got to him again I told him that he will not be doing laser tag and now will not be getting new gloves.  We are leaving, please go to the car.  Of course, this did not go over well.  He cried, normal 8 year old tantrum.  My husband and I walked away - knowing he would follow.   I am not a parent that repeatedly tells a child over and over and over and over to do the same thing.  I find it rude.  I expect something done the one time I ask it.  Yes he followed and the entire time walk was saying it was his dad's fault, he is mad, why do we have to go...etc.

I have decided that I will not be driving him to baseball tomorrow and a birthday part that he was supposed to go to.  I will not be disrespected, talked to with attitude, then still be expected to take my child to activities and fun things.  Its punishment for me too.  I cannot tell you how much I LOVE LOVE to see him play baseball.  He is really good at it and its just a fun sport to watch children play.  I HATE that I won't get to see him tomorrow, but I don't know what else to do.  I have made him write apology letters, its still happening.  I have taken items away, its still happening.  I made him call my inlaws and my sister in law to let them know he will not be playing tomorrow so they do not need to come watch.  I think it was important for him to see that its not only him he is affecting as many people will now not be going because of his choices tonight.

I read this book Have A New Kid By Friday a couple of years ago for a paper I wrote.  I liked the general ideas and suggestions and this is one of them.  My son is only 8, but I would rather be stern now and keep consistent then have an out of control, mouth, rude, disrespectful teenager.  I feel like a shitty mom right now and I am crying  But I do not know what else to do.  Word of advice, more suggestions, criticism, and agreement are all welcome.

by on Feb. 24, 2012 at 11:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 25, 2012 at 1:56 AM
Don't feel bad, parenting is not cut and dry.
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lovebeingmrs
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 2:04 AM
I get where you coming from. But I would still let him the game. His team is depending on him, then after the game he would go right back to his room.
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zianneaaliyah
by 4ever LMFAO on Feb. 25, 2012 at 2:12 AM

Sounds like a communication issue.  I understand the running and hiding was a bit over the top, but seems like he just needs to know that when he wants to express a dislike for something, there is a time and place to express it. 

bellawomen
by Summer on Feb. 25, 2012 at 2:20 AM
I won't go back on what I said, it shows I was not serious. Banishing him to his room is not something I like. It doesn't fix the problem and makes his bedroom a negative place, imo.

I know his team depends on him, which is something I explained. He knows not just him are being affected...its us, his team, his coaches, his grandparents, aunt, and his cousin (who loves him playing baseball more than anyone). I feel. The HORRIBLE, but have no idea what else to do. The easy thing to do is go back on my word, just to make everyone happy. Instead we are staying home and getting some stuff done around the house...and he is helping.
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bellawomen
by Summer on Feb. 25, 2012 at 2:21 AM
I agree. How to fix that? Any other time he communicates fine, but when he doesn't agree or dislikes something he doesn't.

Quoting zianneaaliyah:

Sounds like a communication issue.  I understand the running and hiding was a bit over the top, but seems like he just needs to know that when he wants to express a dislike for something, there is a time and place to express it. 

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cherrywaves21
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 2:26 AM
I think what your doing is great. Yeah it sucks but you raising a boy who will become a man. He needs to learn now that the world isnt here for him and that others count him. Kudos to you for having him miss game! Yeah people are counting on him but he isn't the first kid to ever miss a game. It will go on without him there.
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anon1986East
by Kali on Feb. 25, 2012 at 2:28 AM

I agree with you and your punishments. I've begun to do the same with my kids, my two girls are 7 and 6 years old and sometimes I just want to scream because lately their lack of respect and attitudes have been off the wall. My 6 year old was really excited for today because I had told her that we'd go to the skate park and she could practice on her skateboard and then tomorrow she had plans to go to the park with a friend...well yesterday she got into serious trouble because of a fight with her sister, so she didn't get to go to the skate park today and she's not going out with her friend tomorrow. She cried and begged for me to let her go, promised she'd never fight with her sister again, etc. It sucks because I understand siblings fight, I have a sister of my own, but the fights are getting out of hand and other forms of discipline aren't doing anything to make it stop.

A few months ago my 7 year old was so disrespectful and mouthy my husband and I told her she wasn't going on a planned trip with her grandparents, she also lost all of her toys, wasn't allowed TV or the computer and had to apologize for her behavior and she had to explain to her grandparents why she wasn't going on the trip with them. She hasn't had a serious tantrum since that day.

bellawomen
by Summer on Feb. 25, 2012 at 2:39 AM
Its the same parenting style I had all the way up until about 2 years ago and looking back now I can pinpoint the changes to then. Just like when he was 2,3, and 4...if you don't behave you don't get ______. But he seriously very rarely misbehaved because he knew I meant business. I have just become too lax. I don't want to be one of those crazy extreme parents, I just want to be respected at all times.
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zianneaaliyah
by 4ever LMFAO on Feb. 25, 2012 at 2:45 AM
1 mom liked this

I would just remind him that when he's feeling upset or he doesn't like something that he can politely ask can he talk or say something and then he can tell you how he is feeling and you will hear him out and you'll decide what to do from there. 

Quoting bellawomen:

I agree. How to fix that? Any other time he communicates fine, but when he doesn't agree or dislikes something he doesn't.

Quoting zianneaaliyah:

Sounds like a communication issue.  I understand the running and hiding was a bit over the top, but seems like he just needs to know that when he wants to express a dislike for something, there is a time and place to express it. 


thePBandJmom
by Gold Member on Feb. 25, 2012 at 3:08 AM

It sound's like you already know you are doing the right thing. Hang in there Momma! Its worth it in the long wrong and things will get better!

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