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Nightmares...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have been having awful nightmares for a little over a month now. I can't shake them.

One dream, I was being murdered by my adopted mother. I could see her laying over my body as my soul crept out of me. I don't remember much about that one.

On another night, I dreamt that I went to the doctor and was told I had breast cancer. In the dream I was so torn, because I needed a mastectomy and I knew it was best but I was having trouble accepting what was going to happen. So to make me feel better, my husband took me to a ski resort to vacation and get my mind off of it for a couple of days. As I was skiing and enjoying myself, I fell down a hill and rolled a few times and became stuck in the snow. I screamed and yelled and no one heard me, I could hear cars on the highway through the trees, but couldn't move. I just kept thinking I wanted to kiss my children one last time and I woke up as I felt my soul leaving my body.

And the dream I had last night, the one that really got me emotional. I dreamt that my daughter, whom is 2, was playing on the concrete porch at my Mother's new home (we have been helping her move) and somehow fell. When she fell, she fell hard. She ended up having blood on her brain and something else (don't remember what), she ended up dying. I didn't see her funeral, but I saw her lifeless body laying in the hospital bed. Well, in the dream it skipped to a few months later and me, my grandmother, and mom were shopping in an antique store and something reminded me of her and I started screaming that I wanted her back and it wasn't fair. I cannot describe to you how my heart felt in this dream, I could feel the loss in my womb, like I had been stabbed a million times. It felt so real...

I don't know why I am making this post, I guess I just need to let it out. I don't know what to do about these nightmares. It is almost to the point that I don't want to sleep. 

My stepfather passed away in a terrible car accident 2 months ago. He was the only one, out of four, to not be able to have an open casket. I saw what he looked like when they sent his body home. I even helped Dh, pick through his clothes, that for some reason the police mailed to my mom, and there was brain matter on them. I know it sounds stupid, but I find myself not able to look at raw hamburger meat without feeling sick to my stomach and thinking about what he looked like laying in the funeral home. 

If you have read this far, thank you. I just needed to get this off of my chest and hoping for maybe some type of advice.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 24, 2012 at 11:57 PM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:21 AM

weird! never heard of nightmares being b/c of a brain tumor. =/ i always have nightmares.

do you play music at night? try relaxing music. there's also something where you can kinda control your dream. doesnt work all the time for me, but for others i have talked to- its worked for them. you have to ask youself daily if you are sleeping or awake... basically to the point where you are asking that when you are sleeping as well. eventually, once you know that you're sleeping, you can alter how your dream goes. i think you also have to think about what you want to dream about before/as you are falling asleep. i'll try to look into it and find out the name of it for you! maybe it'll help you more than me!

heavenlybliss19
by Silver Member on Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:23 AM

definitely sounds like you have PTSD.  also, you have a major fear of losing your family as well as your womanhood.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:27 AM

I know what you mean, it is an awful feeling. I'm glad she was too. And I kind of lol'ed at the pack of cigs thing. I smoke and I had to get a cigeratte after that dream, after a lot of dreams I have been having. 

Quoting kathienpb:

I bet. I was trying to quit smoking at the time and wearing a nicotine patch (a side effect from quitting is vivid dreams). I ran into my sons room to make sure he was ok, he was in high school at the time, and ripped the patch off and got a pack of cigarettes. I never ever want to feel like that again. Im glad she's ok :)


Quoting Anonymous:

That's what I did, I was just in tears all night. I couldn't go and check on her either, she was at my moms and didn't want to call and wake them. I went and got her this morning, I was so happy to see her beautiful smile.

Quoting kathienpb:

Wow im so sorry! I had a dream where my son died once. It was awful. I woke up screaming. You've been through a lot. I hope it gets better.




Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:28 AM

I'm sorry for ur loss. :(  Nightmares can be hard to deal.  Therapy might help.  I know after I had 2 miscarriages I had horid dreams, and I was like you, I litterally did not want to go to sleep for fear of dreaming that again.  Maybe a sleep aid, or a prescribed anxiety medicine would help.  I'm sorry Momma, that is all the advice I got.  I'm sorry I couldn't help.  Ur not alone honey.  :((

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:29 AM

I have read that same thing before. I have kept a dream journal for years, they helped in some of my therapy as a child. And in the dream about my daughter I kept trying to wake up, but I just couldn't and when I finally did I felt like I had been running a marathon. 

Quoting Anonymous:

weird! never heard of nightmares being b/c of a brain tumor. =/ i always have nightmares.

do you play music at night? try relaxing music. there's also something where you can kinda control your dream. doesnt work all the time for me, but for others i have talked to- its worked for them. you have to ask youself daily if you are sleeping or awake... basically to the point where you are asking that when you are sleeping as well. eventually, once you know that you're sleeping, you can alter how your dream goes. i think you also have to think about what you want to dream about before/as you are falling asleep. i'll try to look into it and find out the name of it for you! maybe it'll help you more than me!


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:32 AM

I am sorry for your losses. :(

I am thinking of getting me some melatonin. Maybe it will help for a bit.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry for ur loss. :(  Nightmares can be hard to deal.  Therapy might help.  I know after I had 2 miscarriages I had horid dreams, and I was like you, I litterally did not want to go to sleep for fear of dreaming that again.  Maybe a sleep aid, or a prescribed anxiety medicine would help.  I'm sorry Momma, that is all the advice I got.  I'm sorry I couldn't help.  Ur not alone honey.  :((


smr2226
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:34 AM
I don't have advice but just wanted to say i'm sorry and I hope it gets better very soon!
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kathienpb
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:36 AM
Haha haven't tried to quit smoking since then! I hope you figure out what's wrong and never have dreams like that again!


Quoting Anonymous:

I know what you mean, it is an awful feeling. I'm glad she was too. And I kind of lol'ed at the pack of cigs thing. I smoke and I had to get a cigeratte after that dream, after a lot of dreams I have been having. 

Quoting kathienpb:

I bet. I was trying to quit smoking at the time and wearing a nicotine patch (a side effect from quitting is vivid dreams). I ran into my sons room to make sure he was ok, he was in high school at the time, and ripped the patch off and got a pack of cigarettes. I never ever want to feel like that again. Im glad she's ok :)





Quoting Anonymous:

That's what I did, I was just in tears all night. I couldn't go and check on her either, she was at my moms and didn't want to call and wake them. I went and got her this morning, I was so happy to see her beautiful smile.

Quoting kathienpb:

Wow im so sorry! I had a dream where my son died once. It was awful. I woke up screaming. You've been through a lot. I hope it gets better.






Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:38 AM

Thank you.  I now have 2 beautiful daughters so the pain isn't near what it was.  I have accepted what happened.  A quick fix for tonight, it worked for me, was childrens DimeTapp.  4 tsps, knocked me out like a light and no dreaming.  Or Benadryl does pretty good too.  

Quoting Anonymous:

I am sorry for your losses. :(

I am thinking of getting me some melatonin. Maybe it will help for a bit.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry for ur loss. :(  Nightmares can be hard to deal.  Therapy might help.  I know after I had 2 miscarriages I had horid dreams, and I was like you, I litterally did not want to go to sleep for fear of dreaming that again.  Maybe a sleep aid, or a prescribed anxiety medicine would help.  I'm sorry Momma, that is all the advice I got.  I'm sorry I couldn't help.  Ur not alone honey.  :((



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:59 AM

Aww, well that's good. I might just do that or stay up and play Warcraft...lol, not the best way to handle it, sometimes getting my game on helps. After a while I get really sleepy and can't help but zonk out. Thank you for the advice, it's nice to talk to people about these things. :)

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you.  I now have 2 beautiful daughters so the pain isn't near what it was.  I have accepted what happened.  A quick fix for tonight, it worked for me, was childrens DimeTapp.  4 tsps, knocked me out like a light and no dreaming.  Or Benadryl does pretty good too.  

Quoting Anonymous:

I am sorry for your losses. :(

I am thinking of getting me some melatonin. Maybe it will help for a bit.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry for ur loss. :(  Nightmares can be hard to deal.  Therapy might help.  I know after I had 2 miscarriages I had horid dreams, and I was like you, I litterally did not want to go to sleep for fear of dreaming that again.  Maybe a sleep aid, or a prescribed anxiety medicine would help.  I'm sorry Momma, that is all the advice I got.  I'm sorry I couldn't help.  Ur not alone honey.  :((




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