I'm in love with someone other than my so. My so and I have been together for 3 years and for all 3 years our relationship has been a huge lie. I didn't know he was a drug addict and he hid it very well until I started to catch on but by then I was pregnant. I have always been a stay at home mom and I have a 5yr old ( bio dad not in the picture at all) and a 7 month old. My so and I pretty much hate each other but he has no where to go because my house is paid for therefore he has no rent and is struggling to pay utilities cuz all of his money goes to drugs. And i have no job or savings or money for daycare or anything so im scared i won't be able to make it alone and that's the only reason we r together. We haven't even kissed each other in months and only had sex once in the past month.
Well before my so was in the picture i had a Fwb but we kinda developed feelings , and he was done wrong by his ex wife and was not looking for anything serious, so i cut ties and got with my so. Now i find myself thinking about him everyday and he has the same feelings for me. He is a great guy and is always there when i need him no matter what and it kills him to see the way so treats me with the lying and fighting. I'm just to scared to start over again and too scared to get hurt again . I know my so isn't gonna give me up without a fight because we have been off and on for 12 yrs now. Idk what to do but i just had to get it off my chest. This other guy has given me butterflies for over 4 yrs now but idk if it's worth breaking up my family.