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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I want to Eff up my boyfriends sisterinlaw and brother so bad.

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So yea, today they decided to tell my ss, that hes not really my ss since his daddy and I arent married. Also, they told him that he has a real mommy, and that im not his real mommy.  He's only 4.  He is asking a ton of questions and a little bummed out about this.  My boyfriend had to explain to him he was in someone elses belly to grow but im his real mommy and dont listen to anyone else.  but  now hes asking why we arent married.  Huge mess, 

I really want to say something to them, but my boyfriend told me to let him deal with them.  Im keeping my mouth shut but its hard.  My feelings are hurt. 

by on Feb. 28, 2012 at 9:29 PM
Replies (61-70):
muthrof_2
by on Feb. 28, 2012 at 10:14 PM
There is a big difference in a mom and a mother... Just saying ! Wish u the best.
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phoebe81
by Silver Member on Feb. 28, 2012 at 10:15 PM
1 mom liked this

You would have explained the situation to the child in infancy? What exactly would that have accomplished? She's been the only mother the child has ever known. And four year olds for the most part don't even understand where babies come from. If you haven't even explained the concept of babies living inside mommy's tummy, you sure don't need to explain that he was in someone elses tummy. 

These are all things that we talk to our children about when they are old enough to understand, and that age varies depending on the child. Only YOU know when it's the right time to have a hard conversation with your child. Judging and bashing someone else for their decision just speaks volumes about your character..


Quoting Anonymous:

I would have let the child know from the beginning that I was not his biological mom. I personally think it just gets harder and more awkward the older they get...and with 50% of marriages ending in divorce (long term relationships probably being higher still) it was probably best that he know sooner rather than later.

That was a total asshole move on their part though. You guys should have been the one to tell him.


 toddler girltoddler boy
No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.    


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 28, 2012 at 10:21 PM
1 mom liked this
One bad relationship shouldn't prevent you from providing this boy with the legal protection that adoption can offer him should something happen to his dad. And your prior relationship was probably bad because of the man, not the fact that you were engaged. Man up. You want to be the boy's mom, so adopt him. I'm really sorry the brother and sister told him that you are not his mom. Adopt him and be his mom by action and in name too.


Quoting gemikris82:



Quoting Anonymous:

The scenario of them breaking up is INCREDIBLY valid. They have been on and off for 9 years and have no intention of getting married. Let us not forget that this child was conceived during an OFF time. Does that sound like being completely committed to you? It sure doesn't sound that way to me. The brother and sister should have let OP and her BF tell the child, but there is no disputing that the child does need to know at some point.



Quoting Anonymous:

A 4 year old doesn't have the mental capabilities of deciphering bi-mom vs a 'mom' who has been there from day one.



They have been together (albeit off and on) for NINE YEARS. You are throwing in a scenario (breaking up and new mom) that has no validity. She has been a mom to this child from day one. THAT is what matters.





Quoting Anonymous:

Sorry, but I kind of agree with the brother and sister. The boy should know that he has a bio-mom, even if she is not in the picture. Imagine how confused he would feel if you and his dad break up? And another woman fills in as "Mommy"? At least make the commitment formal (marry the dad and adopt the child) before you start telling him that you are his mom.




we broke it off 5 years ago.  and he was conceived while we were broken up because my boyfriend doesnt cheat on me, we are very commited.  do i want to get married, no, but that has nothing to do with him, thats me, i just dont want to get married, i was engaged before and it was a bad relationship. 


Mama2ETA
by on Feb. 28, 2012 at 10:24 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow, you women are a piece of work. Her bf DID tell her SS that he grew in someone else's belly.....would you rather him word it like, "You are not OP's biological child because you weren't growing in her uterus before you were born. As an embryo and fetus, you were in BM's uterus. So OP technically is not your Biological mom, and uncle and aunt think that you shouldn't be calling OP mom because she didnt push you out of her uterus. Although, she is there for you 24/7 since birth, loves you, takes care of you, and considers you her child because of the parental love and relationship you two have" 


Do you think a 4 year old is going to get that? You women are genius.

FoxFire363
by Ruby Member on Feb. 28, 2012 at 10:28 PM

That sucks. DNA isn't what makes someone a mom. Hugs. 

Dino2012
by on Feb. 28, 2012 at 10:32 PM
the hardest thing is to keep your mouth quite. kill them with kindness!
that's what i'm stuck doing with my SO dad and step mom. don't I wish I could slap them! but I try to be nice. just because I was raised that way. but i'm waiting for my daughter to come and I could say something,
but I really hope he handles that and your ss drops it and is okay with it. and you can be his mommy :) it seems like he looked at you as his mommy.
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Shonna6799
by on Feb. 28, 2012 at 10:34 PM
Quoting kiminsean:

BUMP!


gemikris82
by on Feb. 28, 2012 at 10:40 PM


Quoting Mama2ETA:

Wow, you women are a piece of work. Her bf DID tell her SS that he grew in someone else's belly.....would you rather him word it like, "You are not OP's biological child because you weren't growing in her uterus before you were born. As an embryo and fetus, you were in BM's uterus. So OP technically is not your Biological mom, and uncle and aunt think that you shouldn't be calling OP mom because she didnt push you out of her uterus. Although, she is there for you 24/7 since birth, loves you, takes care of you, and considers you her child because of the parental love and relationship you two have" 

 

Do you think a 4 year old is going to get that? You women are genius.

:)

Naegore
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2012 at 11:50 PM
That would make me so angry. Is there a chance you could adopt him? That way you could legally be his mommy, no matter what happens.
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Beans_Mommy_08
by on Feb. 29, 2012 at 12:27 AM
Quoting Mama2ETA:

Wow, you women are a piece of work. Her bf DID tell her SS that he grew in someone else's belly.....would you rather him word it like, "You are not OP's biological child because you weren't growing in her uterus before you were born. As an embryo and fetus, you were in BM's uterus. So OP technically is not your Biological mom, and uncle and aunt think that you shouldn't be calling OP mom because she didnt push you out of her uterus. Although, she is there for you 24/7 since birth, loves you, takes care of you, and considers you her child because of the parental love and relationship you two have" 

Do you think a 4 year old is going to get that? You women are genius.




Omg I can't stop laughing. It's so funny because its true.screw your inlaws and every single one of you that thinks its cool to do that to a 4 year old. I have a 4 year old and you know what? They're pretty intelligent little people. Her father is worthless. She decided a year ago that her daddy is the man who takes care of her when she's sick, makes breakfast and watches toons in the morning with her, cuddles her, kisses her boo boo's, chases away the bad guys, pushes her on the swing, picks her up from preschool... My SO is her daddy. She will correct you if you try to tell her different. His family is her family. His parents are grandma and grandpa. She chose to call them that even though when they met her she learned them by name. I would kill some bitch that walked up to my child and says her daddy really isn't her daddy.
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