I know it sounds heartless. My grandfather has stage 4 colon cancer. They have done surgeries, treatments, chemo and radiation, and while they are slowing it down, they aren't stopping it. He has to go to chemo every Monday for the rest of his life. He WILL die from his cancer. It has metastasized (sp?) to his lungs, bones, brain, everywhere. Now here is what bugs me.
I call him every couple of weeks to check on him, see how is doing, etc. We don't have an awesome relationship, but I honestly don't want to regret not talking to him when he dies. So I call. He also calls me every Monday during chemo because he is bored and his girlfriend works so can't go with him. So I'll answer the phone, "Hey, Gramps, whats up?" knowing that he is in chemo. And I always get a nasty, poor me, pity-party response. "Oh, you know, just poisoning myself intentionally." or "Sitting in a chair with a needle in my arm. Euthanasia would be better." You know, just stupid shit like that. I understand he is dying, but could he be a little more... sensitive I guess? I don't even know what to say to him half the time. I can't just chuckle and say "Oh yeah, enjoy that poison," you know? He's so frustrating!
Plus he is so heartless, too. He lives 8 hours away, so I don't see him in person very often. His doctor gave him 2 weeks off of chemo in August, so him and his woman went camping. The place they camp is about 2 hours from where I live, and you have to drive through my town to get there. When I was in the hospital after having my baby, they drove RIGHT BY the hospital, which is literally 4 blocks off of the main road, and didn't even stop because his girlfriend "Doesn't know me very well and would be uncomfortable." Nothing like a big FUCK YOU to your granddaughter. He's so frustrating. Then he always posts these "oh, just sitting in chemo, can't wait to puke up my next 4 or 5 meals. hope she doesn't make anything super delicious!" or things like that. Its heartbreaking, but even more so, angering. Like, have some heart for the people around you! His late wife, my grandmother, died of lung cancer back in 2001. So we are all missing her, and here he is, in the same predicament, being this way? He doesn't understand how much it hurts all of us. I wish he would think.