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Victims of sexual abuse

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
I was sexually abused as a child and physically abused and raped by my ex...a lot. I've been seeing a new guy for a year and we have recently decided to become official. He doesn't know about the sexual abuse yet. He already knows about the physical abuse because hes pretty smart. He pays attention, and he figured it out. He suspected the physical abuse for a while and just recently confronted (not in a bad way) me about the physical abuse. I think I should tell him about my traumatic sexual history now, but how? Anybody else out there had to do this?
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:05 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:07 PM
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teenmom9410
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:09 PM

I was raped when i was 14 by someone i didnt know. i had to tell my boyfriend they day we dated. i just sat him down at explained everything and he was very understanding. He even when to all the trials with me.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:10 PM

If you CAN, tell him now, Let him support you. I'm just now in the process of revealing my past to my husband and we've been married 10 years. It gets harder if you wait.

Marilyn4335
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:11 PM
Quoting Anonymous:

Bump


doodasmomma
by Anita on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:12 PM
1 mom liked this

 I think it's very important to talk to him about it. It's a hard thing to do. I told my dh when we were 15, I couldn't do it on my own. One of my best friends who was also good friends with him helped me. If you can do it on your own, I would suggest sitting down and let it out. If not, have someone close to both of you help you. IMO, if he's worth keeping it won't change anything for the two of you. Best wishes for you on it.

CafeMom Tickers
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:31 PM
Thanks Ive never told anybody about this except for one good friend. There's just a certain level of vulnerabilty I wasn't willing to open myself up for until now
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 5, 2012 at 8:57 AM
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couponluv72
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 9:01 AM

Honesty is the best policy, he cannot be considerate of your needs without knowing some of what you suffered. if you trust him fully then i say open up and share with him.so he can help you , support you, etc.I told my husband before our marriage. and he understood that for me some types of sex play just make me too anxious and flustered due to my history to do. he is ok and understanding

awmk8
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 9:04 AM

I was molested by a relative from the age of 2-6, then molested by my step dad, then I was sodomized by an ex. It's hard to talk about but its going to be a game changer in your relationship in a good way. When I told my now husband what had happened to me he made it his mission to make my life happy. He even told me I needed to talk to my mom about what my step dad did to me. I had been so angry about everything that had happened to me and talking about it really helped jump start my heeling process. Remember when you talk to him that you don't need to feel ashamed because the things happened to you. They weren't something you did wrong.

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