Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

adoptive moms, did you cut her off?

Posted by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 2:01 PM
  • 446 Replies
Have you ever closed an open adoption?

Why?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 2:01 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
couponluv72
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 2:03 PM

I am in an open adoption with the people who are the parents of my 13 year old. currently i have cut off contact while I deal with some emotions i have about it. 

PortiaRose
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 2:04 PM
1 mom liked this
Ouch. Does she know? Does she wanna talk to you?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
PortiaRose
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 2:05 PM
Hey... bump my shit for me, pls?

Quoting couponluv72:

I am in an open adoption with the people who are the parents of my 13 year old. currently i have cut off contact while I deal with some emotions i have about it. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
couponluv72
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 2:05 PM


Quoting PortiaRose:

Ouch. Does she know? Does she wanna talk to you?

i sent her a letter explaining i am struggling with the pain and sorrow i feel right now after seeing him last summer. and i need time to heal

My happiness is me, not you. Not only because you may be temporary, But also because you want me to be What I am not. I cannot be happy when i change Merely to satisfy your selfishness. Nor can I feel content when you Criticize me for not thinking your thoughts. Or for seeing like you do. You call me a rebel. And yet each time I have rejected your beliefs, You have rebelled against mine. I do not try ot mold your mind. I know you are trying hard enough , To be just you. And I cannot allow you to tell me what to be For I am concentrating on being me. You said that I was transparent, And easily forgotten. Why then did you try to use my lifetime, to prove to yourself who YOU are? -by Michelle from a leo buscaglia book

epoh
by The Enzyme Helicase on Mar. 5, 2012 at 2:09 PM
3 moms liked this
I'm a birth mom and still have contact with my 9yo and her birth family.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Supervane
by Ruby Member on Mar. 5, 2012 at 2:09 PM
I'm wanting to adopt and if we do adopt domestic, I would respect an open adoption under rationale terms.of course
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
couponluv72
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 2:09 PM
7 moms liked this

as an adult, I have to make hard choices sometimes. wether he wants me there or not, I am not mentally healthy enough to be there. I will not cause him harm with me being unstable and erratic

Quoting Anonymous:

Cause your kid may want to have you in there life.

Quoting couponluv72:

me? what on earth for?

Quoting Anonymous:

What a bitch



Quoting couponluv72:

I am in an open adoption with the people who are the parents of my 13 year old. currently i have cut off contact while I deal with some emotions i have about it. 



My happiness is me, not you. Not only because you may be temporary, But also because you want me to be What I am not. I cannot be happy when i change Merely to satisfy your selfishness. Nor can I feel content when you Criticize me for not thinking your thoughts. Or for seeing like you do. You call me a rebel. And yet each time I have rejected your beliefs, You have rebelled against mine. I do not try ot mold your mind. I know you are trying hard enough , To be just you. And I cannot allow you to tell me what to be For I am concentrating on being me. You said that I was transparent, And easily forgotten. Why then did you try to use my lifetime, to prove to yourself who YOU are? -by Michelle from a leo buscaglia book

Terra3
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 2:11 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm in an open adoption with the bio parents of my 10 year old. They don't seem interested in what he's doing or ever want contact with him so I stopped sending them pictures. Why should I put in the effort for their sake when they don't seem to care?

It's not technically closed so if they contacted us and wanted to know how he was I would respond but they haven't in the last 3 years so I take it they don't care anymore.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Kellyjude1
by Silver Member on Mar. 5, 2012 at 2:44 PM
7 moms liked this

No, we never closed our adoption.  We believe the promises made should be promises we keep.  We still have such a wonderful bond and she will always be a part of our lives. 

PortiaRose
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 3:35 PM
How much is she a part of your lives?

Cuz to be honest, I would close the adoption at around 4. I don't want my kid thinking he has two mommies. If you put in the time, you deserve the praise. I don't think its fair to not be able to care for a child, and expect to share that kid at all.


Quoting Kellyjude1:

No, we never closed our adoption.  We believe the promises made should be promises we keep.  We still have such a wonderful bond and she will always be a part of our lives. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)