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turning to God because I can't trust anyone down here

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 199 Replies
17 moms liked this

I can't believe I just said that.

When I was twelve I accepted Jesus Christ. I felt it within every inch of my soul. it was so real.

I started hating God. I lost faith in everything. Myself, humanity.

I messed around with witch craft with some friends and at some points was absolutely convinced we had not known what we were doing and ended up getting ourselves avenged by the spirits threefold. Again, long story and a few examples. I most certainly believe in a higher power, and I know now not to meddle with things I cannot handle. I will never use magick against anyone never mind think about it again..

by 17 I had completely destroyed my faith. I was lost. I remember t he moment the place the time I sat down and realized for the first time that I was lost and I felt truly alone and unwanted.

all this time I denied God. I felt lost. I'm by no means a bible thumber. I try to handle my emotions by being organized materialistically. I try to handle my spirituality with things like 'fate' and my beliefs with philosophy.

I've been afraid to admit it for a long, long time, but I think it's time to turn around and let Him carry me. I'm sick of feeling like I'm being stalked by spirits. I literally need His protection. Protection from myself and protection against others - psychic vampires and wolves in sheeps clothing. I need his help and I feel like I'll slip away without his strength. I'm sick of beng so strong when it's becoming so obvious; I was such a good liar. Now, I live in a space in which the cleanliness reflectsmy state of mind, and a referral to mental health. I bet I'll shut down or lie some more and make everyone think I got it all under control.There's always someone who has a worse story than me, and I have no reason to complain.

I don't need your meds i don't need your therapy. I need faith because I'm falling apart without it and I attract people who kick me when I'm down, and I"m pretty sure I'm not an attention whore - or am I? No fucking clue.


Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 10, 2012 at 4:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AnnieMcD
by Platinum Member on Mar. 10, 2012 at 4:50 AM
13 moms liked this

I'm glad you've finally found your path, I'm sure it's the right one for you. I hope you find the peace you're longing for. 

kaffedrikke
by Gold Member on Mar. 10, 2012 at 4:59 AM
15 moms liked this
Im not a bible thumper either but I.agree GOD is the way to go. Start reading chapter by chapter verse by verse and praying to understand the meaning. HE will never leave you or forsake you in times of need.
mommy2b39465
by on Mar. 10, 2012 at 5:15 AM
2 moms liked this

agreed, I'm glad you finally found your path.

I'm very visualistic minded, to explain the following: I've learned along the way that once I first accepted Him, He never left me for an instant, even when I thought He did. Even when I thought he had left, all it took was for me to really take a look around, and there he'd be hiding behind the next hill over, keeping an eye on me because he wasn't wanted at my side at the moment. It doesn't matter all the witchcraft and experiences you've been through, He's loved you through it all and is all too ready to have you want Him again.   :)

IhartU
by Gold Member on Mar. 10, 2012 at 6:04 AM
20 moms liked this

 Try having some trust and faith IN YOURSELF and you might fine you don't need god or any religion.

DanaG70
by Platinum Member on Mar. 10, 2012 at 6:10 AM
2 moms liked this

 If faith is what you need to keep you going and help you feel better, than turn toward it. Don't let anybody tell you what to believe or not to believe.

Everybody has to find their own path in life.

brkr082005
by on Mar. 10, 2012 at 6:15 AM
14 moms liked this
God never will impose His will on anyone. Even when you walked away He still had His arms extended waiting for you and He still loves you. Falling into the arms of the Savior is what you need. It may not be easy as you continue in this walk, just know that He is always there. As you continue to seek Him and desire to know Him more, He will be there and reveal Himself to you. I encourage you at some point to try and find a church home where you can grow, be encouraged etc... The Bible does say it is better to have not know, than to have known and depart. Sometimes when this happens it is more of a struggle to come back. The enemy has a field day and tries to do whatever and bring whoever in your life to destroy and distract from the things of God. There are many wolves in sheep clothing also, you're right. If you would like to talk, please feel free to PM me. =)
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brkr082005
by on Mar. 10, 2012 at 6:19 AM
2 moms liked this
Btw- I have seen what witch craft can do. Growing up I have encountered demonic oppression/possession, and spirits have tried to put fear in me and would try to distract not only me, but my family. So I see where you are coming from.
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AnnieMcD
by Platinum Member on Mar. 10, 2012 at 6:31 AM
9 moms liked this

Witchcraft, and demonic anything are two completely separate subjects. Please don't impose the monsters of your religion upon mine. We don't do "demons" ... *ETA the please, cause I'm not trying to be a bitch*  :o)

Quoting brkr082005:

Btw- I have seen what witch craft can do. Growing up I have encountered demonic oppression/possession, and spirits have tried to put fear in me and would try to distract not only me, but my family. So I see where you are coming from.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 10, 2012 at 6:36 AM

EVEN GODS HAVE GODS


IN ORDER TO EXIST YOU NEED TO HAVE BEEN CREATED IN THE FIRST PLACE, EVEN GOD IS NO EXCEPTION TO THAT RULE

AnnieMcD
by Platinum Member on Mar. 10, 2012 at 6:37 AM
4 moms liked this

What's any of that got to do with this post?

Quoting Anonymous:

EVEN GODS HAVE GODS


IN ORDER TO EXIST YOU NEED TO HAVE BEEN CREATED IN THE FIRST PLACE, EVEN GOD IS NO EXCEPTION TO THAT RULE



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