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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Am I Being Selfish?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies

I am a SAHM of a DD who is 5, love her to pieces, I also love my husband whom I've been married to for almost 10 years.

Well, I recently went back to school because I got tired of not getting a job (I've put out applications everywhere for years), and because of the jobs in retail or food is not gaurantee, I decided to go into the medical field.

My husband has a full-time job, on top of that, he has a website along with a band. When he is home, he spends his time in the bedroom working.

I'm in the living room constantly doing my homework and taking care of our daughter.

Is it wrong for me to want to tell my husband to just stop what he is doing for 1 day (yeah, he works on weekends too), and be a father while I go in the room and have time to myself to concentrate on what I need to do?

Oh, and I also want to tell him that I would rather him tell me the blunt truth than to lie to me to spare my feelings. For example, on friday, he decided he wasn't going to work because he wants to spend time with me, well, he ended up working, and he got mad when I brought it up

Give me your opinions please

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 18, 2012 at 4:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
divinedimension
by Not Miss Cleo on Mar. 18, 2012 at 4:57 PM

definitely fair

nzumbrun
by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2012 at 4:59 PM
Go in the room and kick him out. Tell him it's your turn.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 18, 2012 at 5:02 PM

i can't really give any advice on this caue i am going through the same thing right now. going to school online, taking care of my ds and doing house work and being a sthm. i know it's hard and dh thinks that all the house work should still be on me along with me being the only one to take care of ds. i know how u feel. for my dh it was the way he was raised he thinks that our houseold has to be the same as the one he grew up in. he really gets to me sometimes... idk how to help but here's a **HUG** for u huny. i hope u get it figured out.

i'd say yeah set him down and talk to him but that doesn't always work. i've tried it and it's like with my dh it went in one ear and out the other... i'm sorry u are feeling the way u r though...

caroberts
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2012 at 5:03 PM

I know how  you feel : (  I've finally accepted that all my husband wants me for is to take care of our son, keep up the house, help pay bills and last but DEF NOT LEAST give him PUSSY!!!!  He stayed home today to hang out with us but guess what he's been doing for the last 5 hours.....sleeping.  I've gotten to the point where I don't even care anymore, saves me the anquish.  Good luck!!!!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2012 at 5:05 PM

Does he also tell you: You're a mom, you can't take days off, or you're not working so taking care of the house is your job . . . ? lol, I get so fed up to tell him that, I don't want a divorce, but if this shit keeps happening and there is not improvement . . . I'm kicking his ass out . . . I would rather be a single mom than to feel like a roomate and not a wife

Quoting Anonymous:

i can't really give any advice on this caue i am going through the same thing right now. going to school online, taking care of my ds and doing house work and being a sthm. i know it's hard and dh thinks that all the house work should still be on me along with me being the only one to take care of ds. i know how u feel. for my dh it was the way he was raised he thinks that our houseold has to be the same as the one he grew up in. he really gets to me sometimes... idk how to help but here's a **HUG** for u huny. i hope u get it figured out.

i'd say yeah set him down and talk to him but that doesn't always work. i've tried it and it's like with my dh it went in one ear and out the other... i'm sorry u are feeling the way u r though...


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 18, 2012 at 5:06 PM

I think he should help you out. When I was working on my degree my dh would take all three kids and go somewhere for awhile so I could concentrate on my school work.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2012 at 5:07 PM

yeah . . . I hear ya on that one . . . he goes to these shows to work on the website (which is doing very well) on weeknights, and the next day, he tells me he is so tired . . . hahaha I straight up tell him I don't want to hear it, that's no excuse

Quoting caroberts:

I know how  you feel : (  I've finally accepted that all my husband wants me for is to take care of our son, keep up the house, help pay bills and last but DEF NOT LEAST give him PUSSY!!!!  He stayed home today to hang out with us but guess what he's been doing for the last 5 hours.....sleeping.  I've gotten to the point where I don't even care anymore, saves me the anquish.  Good luck!!!!!


lovinglife0682
by on Mar. 18, 2012 at 5:10 PM
Quoting caroberts:

I know how  you feel : (  I've finally accepted that all my husband wants me for is to take care of our son, keep up the house, help pay bills and last but DEF NOT LEAST give him PUSSY!!!!  He stayed home today to hang out with us but guess what he's been doing for the last 5 hours.....sleeping.  I've gotten to the point where I don't even care anymore, saves me the anquish.  Good luck!!!!!


Unfortunately your husband does not see that he is not establishing a relationship with his son, which is sad.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 18, 2012 at 5:16 PM

well dh has never said , you're a mom u can't have days off, but it's the way he acts not what he says when i say that i'm going out even if it's just for a few hours to something harmless. but yeah he has used the line ur not working so it's ur responsibility to take care of the house and ds. and ya no i'm sorry if i'm wrong for thinking this, but that was not the way i was raised, i mean when it comes to me being the main one to take care of ds and do house work, yeah i get it that since i'm not working i should take care of ds when he is working. but i think that he should help out some around the house and he should be able to take care of ds without me holding his fucking hand the whole time. and yeah i've thought that and even said it to him before that i'd rather being a single mom then live like this. and yeah believe me or not i do feel like just a room mate at times and it's killing me right now... i don't know how much more of this i can take... i really don't ...

simple frown

Quoting Anonymous:

Does he also tell you: You're a mom, you can't take days off, or you're not working so taking care of the house is your job . . . ? lol, I get so fed up to tell him that, I don't want a divorce, but if this shit keeps happening and there is not improvement . . . I'm kicking his ass out . . . I would rather be a single mom than to feel like a roomate and not a wife

Quoting Anonymous:

i can't really give any advice on this caue i am going through the same thing right now. going to school online, taking care of my ds and doing house work and being a sthm. i know it's hard and dh thinks that all the house work should still be on me along with me being the only one to take care of ds. i know how u feel. for my dh it was the way he was raised he thinks that our houseold has to be the same as the one he grew up in. he really gets to me sometimes... idk how to help but here's a **HUG** for u huny. i hope u get it figured out.

i'd say yeah set him down and talk to him but that doesn't always work. i've tried it and it's like with my dh it went in one ear and out the other... i'm sorry u are feeling the way u r though...



caroberts
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2012 at 5:22 PM


Quoting lovinglife0682:

Quoting caroberts:

I know how  you feel : (  I've finally accepted that all my husband wants me for is to take care of our son, keep up the house, help pay bills and last but DEF NOT LEAST give him PUSSY!!!!  He stayed home today to hang out with us but guess what he's been doing for the last 5 hours.....sleeping.  I've gotten to the point where I don't even care anymore, saves me the anquish.  Good luck!!!!!


Unfortunately your husband does not see that he is not establishing a relationship with his son, which is sad.

I know : (  He's very selfish.  I work M-F, he has every Thursday off and never keeps our son (2yrs old) unless he's sick, instead he plays Disc Golf.  It breaks my heart because I know if my son understood this, it would break his heart too.  My son loves his daddy! 

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