I want to...she was always the BEST kid, happy, sweet, funny...she started being a bit "goth" in her teens, she went through what appeared to be an extended awkward stage, but I didn't care...she was still the wonderful daughter I knew, if she wanted to wear black baggie clothes and explore with her style and personality a bit, I felt it was okay. Then she turned 17, now she's not quite so "goth" just sloppy, won't brush her hair, or clean her room- okay I think, she's testing I get it. I felt her pulling away and I did all the wrong things. I first tried getting her to talk to me, when she wouldn't I yelled, I snooped, I did anything I could to find out what was going on in her life. I suspect she's somewhat promiscuous but to what extent I can't tell. I love her, and I have not idea what is happening with her, and nothing I say will get her to open that damn mouth of her and let the truth out. That's the other thing, she lies, almost constantly, about everything no matter how big or small, and she's not good at it, so you know she's lying, but when you call her on it, she just sticks to her lie, no matter how ridiculous or obviously untruthful it may be...whY???
Finally, she won't take regular showers, brush her teeth or wear decent clothes! I try to tell her gently "Honey, please, take a long shower and do your hair" but she won't, her hair is tangled, her teeth are unbrushed, she just flops out of bed, six minutes before she has to leave and throws herself together- she generally looks sloppy, and a bit dirty, she won't even shave her legs on a regular basis! This isn't my daughter- I'm crying now, I can't stand to talk about it, she's not the girl I raised, the girl I knew, she's a completely different person, and I don't like her, and I feel like the worst mom in the world, I don't know where it all went so wrong, I can sense she's on the wrong path but I can't define it or quite put my finger on it, she's never going to be honest with me, her personality is abrasive and if not abrasive simply annoying because you know almost every word out of her mouth is a lie. I did find out she's not using drugs which is what i feared, she got drug tested at work and there were no problems.
She's 18, she thinks she knows everything, nothing I say is even briefly considered by her...I dread seeing her now, because I know either I have to ignore all of the problems or fight with her, I cry every day for her, my other children just resent her because she ignores them or causes upset in the house. Can anyone help?? ANyone ever go through this? Is this just normal 18 year old stuff???