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Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 Ladies, do you feel like you're obligated to marry a man even if you are not really in love with him? Just because he proposes to you, do you think that you have to... because, for example: you guys have children together, you've been together for a certain amount of time........

Is it okay to tell him that you're NOT ready to be married at that point in time? Or are you afraid that you may (or will) disappoint him...or he will just walk away from it all..!!

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 19, 2012 at 6:02 PM
Replies (121-127):
by Anonymous 17 on Mar. 20, 2012 at 7:57 AM
1 mom liked this

No..Marriage is not an obligation. To many people get married for all the wrong reasons, thats why the divorce rate is so high today and children end up in broken homes. Marriage is supposed to be a life long commitment. It is OK to tell him your not ready, being sure of yourself will save you, your partner and if children are involved from a lot of unwanted heartache down the road.  Communication and honesty is the key, no matter how hard it is sometimes. 

by on Mar. 20, 2012 at 8:26 AM

Disappointment is a fact of life. Do what makes YOU happy.

by Platinum Member on Mar. 20, 2012 at 8:33 AM

If he were to walk away from it all if you (general) said you weren't ready for the marriage part, even if you had kids and all, then he wasn't really into it himself. That's jmo.

by Anonymous 18 on Mar. 20, 2012 at 8:48 AM

 Im honest. If he proposed I would be out. Even with 2 kids. Its not something I want or am ready for right now. He knows it.

by on Mar. 20, 2012 at 8:54 AM
Unfortunately some people change during a pregnancy and def not for the better. I had my dd out of wed lock and once I was pregnant her father did a complete change he started using drugs and beating one me. He held me to the door with a knife under my eye cause I forgot to buy him cigarettes. We were engaged but as u can tell it got broken off. I am however married and have been married 2 years and am expecting our son VIA c section April 10. Just because I had a child with dds father doesn't mean he was good enough to spend the rest of our lives with him.

Quoting Anonymous:

Well in my book you should marry and then have children. If he's good enough to procreate with why isn't he good enough to marry?

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by Ruby Member on Mar. 20, 2012 at 11:10 AM

Quoting jennifercrista:

Quoting SnapIt:

as I always say

Just because you have kids together doesn't mean you are compatible

You shouldn't have to feel obligated to marry that person just because he asked you to marry him, kids or no kids

It's so sad to see people stay together for the kids and later on they say they should've divorced. The relationship they kept together for the sake of the kids, ended up screwing them up even more. Kids feel the tension and see the unhappiness in their parents.

I agree with you in theory and principle, however, in choosing what is best for a child, sometimesthe choices are much more complicated and difficult. I wish life were as easy as it sounds, cut crystal clear-but this is not always the case.

And sometimes or a lot of time, the perception is worse than the reality.

by Anonymous 19 on Mar. 20, 2012 at 11:13 AM
Nope, I didn't feel obiligated.

Even if I had I would've felt obiligated to say no, considering I wasn't responsible enough to think for myself.
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