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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

scars that never never healed...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies

when me and my husband (of almost a yr) were just dating right after we graduated high school he dumped me, at that point we had been together and inserperable for 2 and a half yrs we have always been crazy about each other, always talked about getting married. anyway in that time period he went kinda nuts partied and drank constantly, changed his whole personality. we would split up and get back together multiple times, i never handled the break ups well, now every time i have a memory of our time apart like if a song comes on that reminds me of it, it tears me apart and i feel all that hurt again, it's caused a lot of insecurities for me about our relationship. the 3rd and final time we got back together he finally proved to me that he really was serious about our relationship and wanted to be with me forever. i moved in 2 days later and he asked me to marry him that same day. that was a year ago and we're happy now but i wish i could just forget the time we spent apart and the person he turned into when he didn't have me. 

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 20, 2012 at 10:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
JADIEBUG
by on Mar. 20, 2012 at 10:28 AM

Seriously? You were both very young(you are still very young) and apparently he needed to feel his youth then. You need to get over it.

brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Mar. 20, 2012 at 10:28 AM

 Looking forward and not towards the past is a really really hard thing to do. But you will feel better if you do.. I would suggest couples counseling. My So and I got off to a rough start and we both did things that ate at the other for a couple years. With counseling we were able to say how we felt and get it all out so we could move forward. :) good luck.

southernchick06
by on Mar. 20, 2012 at 10:30 AM
I completly understand. Just give it time
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 20, 2012 at 10:34 AM


Quoting JADIEBUG:

Seriously? You were both very young(you are still very young) and apparently he needed to feel his youth then. You need to get over it.

what does being young have to do with anything he's 19 and i'm 20 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 20, 2012 at 10:38 AM

i have the same feelings. husband and i have been together 8 years and he has hurt me greatly before we got married. same thing, drinking, staying out, etc. i cannot let it go even though he is a different guy now. not sure when it is going to get better but I hate having to think about everything he put me through. sometimes i think it would have been better if we went our separate ways.

JADIEBUG
by on Mar. 20, 2012 at 10:38 AM
1 mom liked this

He was in a long term relationship in high school....He wanted to feel his youth before he settled down apparently. He wanted to enjoy being young before marriage and the responsibility that comes with it. If you don't understand that I don't think you are mature enough for marriage yet.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting JADIEBUG:

Seriously? You were both very young(you are still very young) and apparently he needed to feel his youth then. You need to get over it.

what does being young have to do with anything he's 19 and i'm 20 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 20, 2012 at 10:43 AM


Quoting JADIEBUG:

He was in a long term relationship in high school....He wanted to feel his youth before he settled down apparently. He wanted to enjoy being young before marriage and the responsibility that comes with it. If you don't understand that I don't think you are mature enough for marriage yet.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting JADIEBUG:

Seriously? You were both very young(you are still very young) and apparently he needed to feel his youth then. You need to get over it.

what does being young have to do with anything he's 19 and i'm 20 


listen here lady, you don't know me and you have no clue how mature i am, me and my husband have seen more life in our short lives than you would think, so be careful before you judge, damn right i'm mature i had a baby at 20 years old, my husband works his ass off for us, we've seen our fair share of hard times, and idc why he dumped me, the facts are he did and it hurt, the only person i've ever really loved went through a time where he didn't wanna be with me, how would that make you feel? 

JADIEBUG
by on Mar. 20, 2012 at 10:50 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Anonymous:
Quoting JADIEBUG

listen here lady, you don't know me and you have no clue how mature i am, me and my husband have seen more life in our short lives than you would think, so be careful before you judge, damn right i'm mature i had a baby at 20 years old, my husband works his ass off for us, we've seen our fair share of hard times, and idc why he dumped me, the facts are he did and it hurt, the only person i've ever really loved went through a time where he didn't wanna be with me, how would that make you feel? 

Having a baby at 20 does not make someone mature....Your little rant proves it. If you can't have a discussion without throwing a temper tantrum then you are immature. I have been dumped by what I thought was the love of my life and you either get over it or under it....That is where maturity comes in. Lingering on this does not help your relationship or anything it just causes issues. IS he not with you now? Why get hung up on the past and not look towards the future?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 20, 2012 at 10:57 AM


Quoting JADIEBUG:


Quoting Anonymous:
Quoting JADIEBUG

listen here lady, you don't know me and you have no clue how mature i am, me and my husband have seen more life in our short lives than you would think, so be careful before you judge, damn right i'm mature i had a baby at 20 years old, my husband works his ass off for us, we've seen our fair share of hard times, and idc why he dumped me, the facts are he did and it hurt, the only person i've ever really loved went through a time where he didn't wanna be with me, how would that make you feel? 

Having a baby at 20 does not make someone mature....Your little rant proves it. If you can't have a discussion without throwing a temper tantrum then you are immature. I have been dumped by what I thought was the love of my life and you either get over it or under it....That is where maturity comes in. Lingering on this does not help your relationship or anything it just causes issues. IS he not with you now? Why get hung up on the past and not look towards the future?

having a baby at 20 doesn't make you mature?? it doesn't make you grow up?? yeah you're right some ppl mature when they have babies others don't...i did. i was mature long before then i've been taking care of myself since i was 17. maturity has little to do with your ability to handle heartbreak. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 20, 2012 at 11:26 AM

My husband and I were high school sweethearts. When he graduated high school he joined the Marines. he decided that he wanted me to enjoy college without worrying about me so he broke up with me. I spent the next year crying myself to sleep every night. We got back together when he came home from Iraq. We got engaged 6 months later and married 6 months after that. We got pregnant instantly. But sometimes I think back to our break-up and it's hard to push past the hurt.

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