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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

RE: Duggar finale- I don't confess often...

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 2:46 AM
  • 10 Replies
2 moms liked this

But I find the need to share weighing heavy on my heart tonight. I haven't been healing well, emotionally, after losing my son 2 weeks ago. We were 18 weeks pregnant and lost his heartbeat after struggling with a hydrops diagnosis at 14 weeks. The delivery was so awful (from a medical and emotional stand point) that I have been left dealing with PTSD nightmares. During the day I can function, sort of. But it takes so little to send me running for my bed where I keep my sons baby blanket so I can clutch it and scream... I have felt so alone and so lost... And most of all I have prayed and begged and screamed that I just want to feel normal again when in reality I just want to feel my son back in my belly, growing and giving me butterflies.

I haven't watched many episodes of the 19 Kids And Counting show, but a friend told me about tonights episode and said maybe I would find something in it to help with how I'm feeling. I am so thankful for them sharing their story after losing their Jubilee... It was so hard to watch, because I could identify with every tear they shed. But for the first time since our loss, I don't feel like I'm the only person greiving a loss this way. I was even happy to see that they had pictures done also because that is something that was so important to me and I hold the photos so dear to my heart but I felt like I was so strange for feeling that way. The way they documented and shared their grieving process is really helping me feel "normal" and I never would have imagined that I could ever thank the Duggar's for that.

Anyways.... I had to type that and get it off my heart.

by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 2:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Hannah-Belle
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 2:52 AM

I really appreciate you for that ... And I am so sorry for your loss also <3

Quoting halliebug:

I'll say a prayer that your heart will heal. I lost a daughter when she was four weeks old- that was nine years ago almost and it still hurts. I'm here if you need to talk.


lizzie_8690
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 2:55 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss! I also lost my baby wen I was 8 weeks its very hard and its something that u never forget but time does help u heal a little. *hugs* mama
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juicebox.
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 2:56 AM

I'm very sorry.

3LittleMonstrs
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 2:59 AM
So sorry for your loss. The first time I lost a baby I was 16 weeks. Hugs mama you can get through this!
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DCMsMommy
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 3:02 AM

im sorry hugs

ReidsNana
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 3:11 AM
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry. Even though I haven't been through the loss of a baby personally, as a mama, my heart aches for you.

It's nice that you were able to watch the Duggar episode and were able find some solace and a connection. There may be a group in cm that has a network of other mom's who are dealing with the same thing.

I wish you the very best through your healing process. Sending you a great big hug and healing energy.
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DeniseGibson
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 3:14 AM
sorry


brandiaubrey
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 3:17 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can not even begin to imagine. Don't feel bad for how you are grieving, there is no "right" way to grieve. Do what is best for you. I am glad you found comfort in their story. I hope time will help you heal and again, I am so sorry for your loss.
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Ireallydontcare
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 3:18 AM

HUGS and I am happy that you have found even a little bit of peace. I know it doesn't make it better, but well I don't know what I am trying to say...just I am sorry for your loss.

2ndtimemom605
by Gold Member on Mar. 28, 2012 at 4:05 AM
I'm so sorry.I'm glad you watched the show.
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