But I find the need to share weighing heavy on my heart tonight. I haven't been healing well, emotionally, after losing my son 2 weeks ago. We were 18 weeks pregnant and lost his heartbeat after struggling with a hydrops diagnosis at 14 weeks. The delivery was so awful (from a medical and emotional stand point) that I have been left dealing with PTSD nightmares. During the day I can function, sort of. But it takes so little to send me running for my bed where I keep my sons baby blanket so I can clutch it and scream... I have felt so alone and so lost... And most of all I have prayed and begged and screamed that I just want to feel normal again when in reality I just want to feel my son back in my belly, growing and giving me butterflies.
I haven't watched many episodes of the 19 Kids And Counting show, but a friend told me about tonights episode and said maybe I would find something in it to help with how I'm feeling. I am so thankful for them sharing their story after losing their Jubilee... It was so hard to watch, because I could identify with every tear they shed. But for the first time since our loss, I don't feel like I'm the only person greiving a loss this way. I was even happy to see that they had pictures done also because that is something that was so important to me and I hold the photos so dear to my heart but I felt like I was so strange for feeling that way. The way they documented and shared their grieving process is really helping me feel "normal" and I never would have imagined that I could ever thank the Duggar's for that.
Anyways.... I had to type that and get it off my heart.
I really appreciate you for that ... And I am so sorry for your loss also <3
Quoting halliebug:
I'll say a prayer that your heart will heal. I lost a daughter when she was four weeks old- that was nine years ago almost and it still hurts. I'm here if you need to talk.
It's nice that you were able to watch the Duggar episode and were able find some solace and a connection. There may be a group in cm that has a network of other mom's who are dealing with the same thing.
I wish you the very best through your healing process. Sending you a great big hug and healing energy.
HUGS and I am happy that you have found even a little bit of peace. I know it doesn't make it better, but well I don't know what I am trying to say...just I am sorry for your loss.
S/o What would you do if you found out your 17yo had sex?
SALLY MANN PHOTOGRAPHY.....ART or Child Porn ?
- Hannah-Belle
on Mar. 28, 2012 at 2:46 AM