I don't even know what to title this *advice needed, kinda long*
- 114 Replies
Okay so I left my relationship of 4 yrs to be with this guy who makes feel like I've never felt before, like he's my soulmate. My everything. I've never felt like this before. Not even about dd's father.
Well we met at work and he was also in a 4 yr relationship and we both were unhappy. He flat out told me about his and I lied about mine saying we had been over for a few months but we were still living together. I finally kicked my ex out and started seeing the other guy a few days later and then I started putting my daughter on hold and spending time with him (new guy) and after that week my ex came over and caused drama because he wanted to see who I was with. So with the new guy and I fought and then made up. after the fight we moved in together. (I know super fast but we'd been courting each other for a few months)
Well we've been fighting off and on ever since. Mostly because of me because he lost his trust with me. I said I wanted to be with him and make him happy because he had been in an unhappy, unhealthy relationship and he kept finding things from my ex. Like pix of my daughter and him and old Christmas cards, an ex called my phone wanting to hang out, he thinks I've slept around because I dated one of his friends in high school (5+ yrs ago and I was still a virgin when we "dated") So he would flip out. I don't blame him but I feel like we're not going anywhere because I've gotten rid of everything to show him that I want to be with him but every time he goes out and drinks he somehow brings it up and we fight or we're fighting because of my attitude because I apparently can't control what comes out of my mouth.
I'm just tired of fighting or arguing with him. But I love him so very much. We have so much in common and want the same things in life. (Almost) but I just feel I have up everything for nothing. Because I feel everything I say or do isn't good enough. I voice my feelings or opinion and its wrong, or say the wrong thing, I apparently want too much sex (we have sex about 4 x a day because he's AMAZING and yeah) so he thinks if he doesn't give it to me I'll go cheat but he always wants it just as much. If I'm on my phone he thinks I'm being bad or if I go to his sisters I better be a good girl. I don't want anyone but him. I dropped out of college (with a yr away from graduating), quit my job, gave up my apartment, stopped talking to my friends/family (causing problems), gave full custody to my ex (he doesn't let me see her because he doesn't like that I've had a baby with someone else) and he doesn't work either, goes out every other weekend, smokes 3-4 x a day everyday. He tells me every time we fight that he gave up his 4 yr relationship and his job for some slut.
I love him I do so much. But I need some advice or something! Idk. I just needed to vent! Sorry it's so long.
You deserve so much more. I know leaving would hurt but it would save your life. You do need to get out and get help.
He has started the road to physical abuse and I wouldn't be surprised it is didn't stop until you're dead. He has completely isolated you and you need to find some way to get out of there without making him too angry, there is no telling what he will do.
Quoting CrazyLife1996:
No bashing from me. You seriously need to see what you are letting him do to you. It is abusive. You don't see friends and family. Got you away from your own child. Calls you horriable names. Drinks and does drugs.
You deserve so much more. I know leaving would hurt but it would save your life. You do need to get out and get help.
Im sorry but your relationship was started on a bed of lies.. If I were you I would suggest couples counseling or just move on..
Quoting Anonymous:He has started the road to physical abuse and I wouldn't be surprised it is didn't stop until you're dead. He has completely isolated you and you need to find some way to get out of there without making him too angry, there is no telling what he will do.
Quoting CrazyLife1996:
No bashing from me. You seriously need to see what you are letting him do to you. It is abusive. You don't see friends and family. Got you away from your own child. Calls you horriable names. Drinks and does drugs.
You deserve so much more. I know leaving would hurt but it would save your life. You do need to get out and get help.
Be a mother not a punch bag... Your daughter can/will love you and apreciate you way more than any other person on this planet just because you love her enough to care for her and be there. Open your eyes to see the gift you were given in her and what a blessing she is and find your joy there.
Don't stand for anything less than love and respect.
For the love of all that is holy, please tell me you are not serious.
Not only is this man extremely controlling, you actually gave up custody of your daughter for him?! Are you kidding me? Please, say that you are.
You really need to get your priorities straight, for one. Two, you need to seek counselling. You clearly don't see what you're worth.





