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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

im actually thinking of keepin it...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
stbxh abandoned us a few months ago. Ran off with one of my good friends. Soon after he left, I found out I was pregnant. Took me a wile to come to a decision...which was abortion. I have a week left before the cut off and am having second thoughts. I'd really apreciate any advise. Ill come back to the post later gonna try and get back to sleep before my kids wake up for the day. TIA!
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2012 at 5:45 AM
Replies (411-420):
Misha1204
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 6:54 AM
This.

Quoting epoh:

This. You need to do whatever *you* feel is right, or you'll regret tue decision, no matter what that decision may be.



Quoting SOCO101:

If you're having second thoughts of any kind, you're heart is telling you NOT to go through with the abortion.

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Tea4Tas
by Ruby Member on Mar. 31, 2012 at 6:55 AM


Quoting -LovingMamma-:

 This says the same thing http://fl1.findlaw.com/news.findlaw.com/wp/docs/abortion/ppash60104ord.pdf

It is what happens, whether you want to believe it or not. 

 


I call bullshit. I had a 18/19 week miscarriage which resulted in a dead fetus. I was never shown any pictures-and my wasbund would probably have pounded the shit out of anyone who tried to do so.

We were given the option of  a funeral , but felt that, given the deformities our baby had, the best purpose for his short life would be research, so he could perhaps be able to save other lives, even though he never had a life of his own.  We got his ashes back a few year later, and released them at the beach.

tnbabie
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 8:04 AM

If you are having any second choices ..my best advice is TAKE YOURSEL UP ON THEM!! you will regret it if you dont.. the baby isnt responsible for what the father did.. why should they have to pay the price with their lives? If you dont feel you can love this baby someone else out there will..think about it my thoughts and prayers will be with you


my3littleboys
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2012 at 8:22 AM
Your 18 weeks and you have not felt it move yet???? Don't be a baby killer....life may be a struggle but God will help you thru

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't share your beliefs. Also, I haven't felt one kick yet. I'm almost 18 weeks.



Quoting LovelyJay512:

You say a week before cut off? So your baby is kicking moving in there...and you're thinking about killing it? I'm Pro-Choice but once you're almost in your 2nd trimester that baby is a baby, I don't care what scientist say, life begins at conception.


Do what you want it's your body but really reconsider an abortion this late in gestation. (If you're far along as 'a week cut off')
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PeanutEmma
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 9:35 AM

They indeed are little people... even those of you who claim to be pro-choice with a limit on abortion time (i.e. 1st trimester only) An 11 week sonogrom shows a "little person" as well as I am sure you are well aware of if you have had 1st trimester screening during your pregnancies. So again as I have posted before I am quite confused by these pro-choice stances when you are contradicting yourself. A baby at 11 weeks old looksl ike a "little person" and cannot survive outside the mothers womb - just as an 18 week old fetus looks like a "little person" and cannot survive outside the woman's womb. 

Is it not OK to perform an abortion at 18 weeks because the baby is closer to being able to survive? Yet at this VERY moment in time in which she is considering this decision the baby will die if born tomorrow?

Quoting rliperote2:

Your lying to yourself . Have you had a ultra sound at 18 weeks? There little people

Quoting Anonymous:

Again...18 weeks is not a late term abortion, and they don't do partial birth abortions for that gestation.



Quoting rliperote2:

Im pro choice but i don't believe in late term abortions or partial births it's murder they partually deliver the child and stab it In the head then deliver the rest. At 18 weeks it's almost viable they suck there thumbs have a heart beat.





Quoting PeanutEmma:

Are you sure you understand what pro-choice means? If so, you might want to reconsider your position.




Quoting LovelyJay512:

Well that's too bad for you, you asked for opinions; I gave mine.

18 weeks even better you'll find out the sex soon.

Women like you who wait until the baby is a baby are pathetic, you could do it in the 1st month of finding out. Some women aren't lucky and they find out later than the 1st month and get an abortion because they didn't know. You have no excuse to kill a baby that's already formed into a child.

So do what you want, it's your body your choice. I don't like the fact you're 18 weeks in your 2nd trimester & you're going to terminate a baby that's moving & already considered a fetus; no longer a "cell."

Just hope that you don't regret it. Go right ahead. (:

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't share your beliefs. Also, I haven't felt one kick yet. I'm almost 18 weeks.







Quoting LovelyJay512:

You say a week before cut off? So your baby is kicking moving in there...and you're thinking about killing it? I'm Pro-Choice but once you're almost in your 2nd trimester that baby is a baby, I don't care what scientist say, life begins at conception.




Do what you want it's your body but really reconsider an abortion this late in gestation. (If you're far along as 'a week cut off')




JadedFaerie
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 9:44 AM

Hi, I'm just going to head butt you -cough- I mean butt in here.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1021034/The-tiniest-survivor-How-miracle-baby-born-weeks-legal-abortion-limit-clung-life-odds.html

Quoting PeanutEmma:

They indeed are little people... even those of you who claim to be pro-choice with a limit on abortion time (i.e. 1st trimester only) An 11 week sonogrom shows a "little person" as well as I am sure you are well aware of if you have had 1st trimester screening during your pregnancies. So again as I have posted before I am quite confused by these pro-choice stances when you are contradicting yourself. A baby at 11 weeks old looksl ike a "little person" and cannot survive outside the mothers womb - just as an 18 week old fetus looks like a "little person" and cannot survive outside the woman's womb. 

Is it not OK to perform an abortion at 18 weeks because the baby is closer to being able to survive? Yet at this VERY moment in time in which she is considering this decision the baby will die if born tomorrow?

Quoting rliperote2:

Your lying to yourself . Have you had a ultra sound at 18 weeks? There little people

Quoting Anonymous:

Again...18 weeks is not a late term abortion, and they don't do partial birth abortions for that gestation.



Quoting rliperote2:

Im pro choice but i don't believe in late term abortions or partial births it's murder they partually deliver the child and stab it In the head then deliver the rest. At 18 weeks it's almost viable they suck there thumbs have a heart beat.





Quoting PeanutEmma:

Are you sure you understand what pro-choice means? If so, you might want to reconsider your position.




Quoting LovelyJay512:

Well that's too bad for you, you asked for opinions; I gave mine.

18 weeks even better you'll find out the sex soon.

Women like you who wait until the baby is a baby are pathetic, you could do it in the 1st month of finding out. Some women aren't lucky and they find out later than the 1st month and get an abortion because they didn't know. You have no excuse to kill a baby that's already formed into a child.

So do what you want, it's your body your choice. I don't like the fact you're 18 weeks in your 2nd trimester & you're going to terminate a baby that's moving & already considered a fetus; no longer a "cell."

Just hope that you don't regret it. Go right ahead. (:

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't share your beliefs. Also, I haven't felt one kick yet. I'm almost 18 weeks.







Quoting LovelyJay512:

You say a week before cut off? So your baby is kicking moving in there...and you're thinking about killing it? I'm Pro-Choice but once you're almost in your 2nd trimester that baby is a baby, I don't care what scientist say, life begins at conception.




Do what you want it's your body but really reconsider an abortion this late in gestation. (If you're far along as 'a week cut off')





FebPenguins
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 9:50 AM
1 mom liked this

You are wrong.... Adoption is ALWAYS an option. If it weren't for adoption, I wouldn't have my dh or my kids. Please consider this!

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you for your reply. Adoption isn't an option, so its either keep it, or abort.

Quoting DannieLou:

 Never ignore that little voice. You can't go back if you abort, but like another poster said, you could give it up for adoption if you decided you couldn't keep it for whatever reasons. GL



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 31, 2012 at 10:28 AM
Even if she is 18 weeks along, it is still her choice about what to do. She needs to make an informed decision by getting information from an unbiased health care provider. Maybe if you encourage her to do that, you will be providing her with the best help possible.

OP, best of luck with your decision. Only you know what you can and can not handle. Make your decision based on those facts, not the emotions of others. GL.
Quoting Anonymous:

Yes this is why the tone changed and it completely went from just the moral sense to the side effects. She could find a man who loves her but from having a late term abortion no longer be able to have children. I even said I can understand even a month after realizing it's not the right time but at 18 weeks right about the time of feeling the baby move I just don't know. I feel like there would be a bit of emotional baggage and I'm not saying it to be a douche I'm saying it because it could either be super awesome to keep the child, super terrible because she can't afford the child she kept, super awesome because she now doesn't have the burden, or once again terrible because she realized after the fact that this wasn't what she wanted.

I realize I can't be a supermom I couldn't help raise the child unless by some random chance she lived close by and I actually knew who she was. I highly doubt any of that would happen.

That's why I tried saying consider the side effects and consider what could emotionally occuyr afterwards I don't see this point of view as harsh because it's reality. I know I can't keep her from doing one or the other and I would never force anyone to just birth a baby for anyone else. Those are just suggestions people made. And that's all they will ever be.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm thrilled by your less emotional point of view. Now that you've calmed down, did it occur to you that she may feel differently now? And she's entitled to. At the end of the day, she is going to be the one raising her children, by herself. Neither you nor I will be there to lend a helping hand. Only she can decide whether or not she can do it. Objective opinions, either for or against her keeping her baby is what she needs, not reprimands.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 31, 2012 at 10:41 AM

It's just her choice for another week. She really needs to spend a lot of time thinking about it because after this point it's not her choice. A lot of people won't like admitting it but that's just the case.

She should be speaking with and OBGYN right away if this is how she feels. Even without insurance you can still make a free phone call to talk about this but I'm guessing if she know how far along she is she has already been to a few appointments at this point. Please just figure out what is best for the emotional state you will be in afterwards and how your body will physically handle this.

Get everything in order. Either way you will need someone to help out with the children you currently have. Make a plan and make it fast because I've had friends have this done and it took them a while to recover afterwards.

Quoting Anonymous:

Even if she is 18 weeks along, it is still her choice about what to do. She needs to make an informed decision by getting information from an unbiased health care provider. Maybe if you encourage her to do that, you will be providing her with the best help possible.

OP, best of luck with your decision. Only you know what you can and can not handle. Make your decision based on those facts, not the emotions of others. GL.
Quoting Anonymous:

Yes this is why the tone changed and it completely went from just the moral sense to the side effects. She could find a man who loves her but from having a late term abortion no longer be able to have children. I even said I can understand even a month after realizing it's not the right time but at 18 weeks right about the time of feeling the baby move I just don't know. I feel like there would be a bit of emotional baggage and I'm not saying it to be a douche I'm saying it because it could either be super awesome to keep the child, super terrible because she can't afford the child she kept, super awesome because she now doesn't have the burden, or once again terrible because she realized after the fact that this wasn't what she wanted.

I realize I can't be a supermom I couldn't help raise the child unless by some random chance she lived close by and I actually knew who she was. I highly doubt any of that would happen.

That's why I tried saying consider the side effects and consider what could emotionally occuyr afterwards I don't see this point of view as harsh because it's reality. I know I can't keep her from doing one or the other and I would never force anyone to just birth a baby for anyone else. Those are just suggestions people made. And that's all they will ever be.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm thrilled by your less emotional point of view. Now that you've calmed down, did it occur to you that she may feel differently now? And she's entitled to. At the end of the day, she is going to be the one raising her children, by herself. Neither you nor I will be there to lend a helping hand. Only she can decide whether or not she can do it. Objective opinions, either for or against her keeping her baby is what she needs, not reprimands.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 31, 2012 at 10:46 AM
2 moms liked this
I have personally had 2 abortions, so don't think that I'm saying this as an anti abortionist. One week before the cut off is so late to have an abortion. Babies can survive, with medical help, at not much older than yours is now. Please consider adoption, or keep your baby. The fact that you are questioning your decision, and have put it off so long, makes me think you want this child.
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