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Is it normal to feel depressed when you first find out you're pregnant?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I just found out I'm pregnant last night and it will be my second child at 21.  Just as i started focusing on myself again, it seems like this has shattered all my future dreams and aspirations to become something more in life.  I don't mean to offend, but I just can't live being a sahm my whole life.  I know my reasoning is selfish, but I just can't seem to stop crying.  When you first found out you were pregnant with your kids, did you ever go through depression?  Is it normal?  

*Before anyone plans to attack me by claiming i shouldn't have sex if I don't want kids, I am living with my bf who's the father of both my kids, and my bc failed me.  

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2012 at 2:36 PM
Replies (411-420):
by Anonymous 46 on Apr. 3, 2012 at 1:41 AM
Hugs to you! I went through the same thing. I had always known that I wanted kids at some point. I was 20, my husband and I had just gone through some very awful things and were having some problems of our turned upside-down stuff. I found out that I was 16 weeks pregnant (thought I had missed my period because of severe stress) and I cried for 2 weeks straight. I was not ready at that point in my life. It finally took my dad telling me that I needed to snap out of it, "because all that crying couldn't be good for the baby". At that point I just accepted it and I have the most amazing 4 year old man that I love to bits. I couldn't imagine not having him. To top that off when he was 8 months old I found out I was pregnant with our 2nd. I cried for that one too! LOL. You'll be okay. Just think ahead to the time when you can hold that sweet little baby!
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 1:48 AM
I was 34 when I found out I was prego with # 4.. my entire pregency I was depressed =( I had lots of other things going on too.. but hang in there your dreams can still come true... there just put on hold for a bit and there are still things you can do while prego and after baby! Best wishes!! <3
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by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 2:03 AM

I was very depressed at the begining of my pregnancy. I know a lot of women who were. Dont feel like your the only one. i tried therapy but that didnt work for me. My attitude changes once I started setting things up for my baby.

by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 2:29 AM

I was very upset for the first two weeks. I was in college and had plans for my future. I was never able to return to school after having the baby, but I cannot complain about the life I've lead. And I wouldn't change a thing even if I could. Somehow, everything will work out even if it's not the way you originally planned.

by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 2:33 AM
I was upset with my second at first. See my first child was born with a both defect and passed away on Christmas eve. And that next April I got pregnant I was scare that the same thing would happen and was not ready for anothe baby. But it didn't last long! I still miss my little girl but my son is very healthy and I am glad I have him
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by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 2:36 AM
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I know this must be SO hard for you. The best things in life are the ones we sacrifice the most for. Let me tell you, it's no picnic either from the other side of the fence. I went to college and worked while so many were starting families.(I won't tell you my age, but I graduated college in 1989;) I ENVIED my sisters, who were your age with babies. Couldn't wait til I finally got married, and pregnant after working 12 yrs. Having children in your 30's or older is not like in your 20's. I'd say 2x harder each year. My children's cousins on both sides, all teens by the time mine were born, and it's been a fairly lonely ride for me in terms of female comaraderie all along the way. My children are still in elem. school, my sisters have grandchildren and were always at a different place in life. God knows you'll be so thankful for your child, and your family wouldn't be complete without him/her. And this won't be popular, but consider getting married. You and your family will be better off for it, because it helps with bonding and cohesiveness all around. People say their afraid of divorce, but a break up is terribly hard either way anyway. You WILL be able to focus more on you in just a couple years when they're in school, and you don't need to be a sahm for life. even if you choose to do so for the next few years. Trust me, I envied every sahm in my path. Now I know how hard it is, but so is everything worth anything. I'm sure your feelings are normal for you. This will pass, things will work out. Try to focus on the good things about family life, and try to do something just for you each day. 

by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 2:41 AM
Not sure I it's normal, but it's happened to me with a few of my pregnancies.
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by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 3:01 AM
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Had a miscarraige before my first child at 33, another baby at 36, and made decision to avoid pregnancy thereafter, mostly b/c my pregnancies came with health risks and were hard, and I felt too old to be having more. 9 yrs later, regretting not having more, and even my children wish we had more, but it's too late. I hope you will find, as I have, that there's nothing more rewarding in life than being a mom. NOTHING.

by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 3:04 AM
I don't want more kids and would be very depressed in my situation if I were to get pregnant. But I've abstained from sex for three years so no worries :-) Even if I did have sex, I have the iud!
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by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 4:00 AM
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You can not help how you feel.  It is understandable that you are upset since you had hoped to put your focus elsewhere but at the same time some of the best things in life happen unplanned.  You are still young and will not be a SAHM forever, even though it feels like it. Plenty of us have children and a career and if that is what you want, I hope you can too.  A nice side is that you may have 2 kids close in age and in the near future hopefully your pregnancy will feel "unplanned but not unwanted".

Best of luck!!!

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