should i write to this inmate? *long long
- 111 Replies
In my senior year of high school I got my senior service credits by volunteering at an alternative/special ed school here in my metropolitan area. I was assigned to their six grade classroom and would assist there for 2 hours 5 days per week. The school was focused on kids with behavioral/emotional issues, and to put it bluntly it was full of bad ass kids with propensity toward violent outbursts. My kids were 12 years old, i was 18. My class was small...roughly 10 kids...and they quickly started warming up to me and looked forward to my time with them.
I enjoyed my time there and missed the kids and the bonds I had formed with them, but after I graduated and moved away for college they crossed my mind less and less often.
This evening, something randomly triggered my memory of my time there and I started Google-ing the names of the kids I could remember.
Here's the shocker - one of my favorite boys is serving a 25 year second-degree murder sentence!! he was 14 at the time of the murder (only 2 years after I left). =[[
I read up on his background, his charges, his case (plead to 2nd and 25, was charged with murder 1), and his appeal. It broke my heart. He came into this world to a 14 year old mother. He was found to be neglected, and had been involved with the law/juvenile court/CPS/foster care from the ripe old age of 5. This was a child who was failed by his family and community, then also failed by the system put in place to protect him. There's no way I can go into all the details.
Anyway, I can't help but feel guilty as I was one of the people who crossed paths with this troubled kid, but wasn't able to help him. There was no way I could have ever known his background or even begun to imagine the hardships he had been through before I met him or while I knew him, but the kid I knew was sweet and talkative and eager for an adult who showed interest in his life and believed in him. I was only able to provide that for a short amount of time. =\
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So, I looked him up in the correction system, and wouldn't ya know, TODAY is his 19th birthday. I feel like there is a reason that his name crossed my mind today and that I found out all this info today of all days. I have the address to contact him, and I feel compelled to send a birthday card and a note but...
What do I say? What would you say? Would you even contact him? For all I know, I'm the only person he will have ever gotten correspondence from. I'm so sad. I just want him to know that someone out here cares and that he is not alone in this world. I have a couple pictures of us from the time our paths crossed...would you send those? Do you think he would even want to hear from someone like me?
Have any of you written to an inmate, whether you knew them personally or not? I'm obviously new to this. Thanks for any and all advice. I still can't believe this. Man.
I say go for it. Maybe having someone from his past who cared about him re-enter his life, he might find some kind of comfort and peace in hearing from you.
You should let him know that you still care about him and wish him the best and all that.
If things turn inapproprate or uncomftorable, be sure to get out of dodge fast. He might have come from a rough start but, he had to have known what he was doing was going to land him in hot water so, there's not excuse for it.
Quoting ReiReally:I say go for it. Maybe having someone from his past who cared about him re-enter his life, he might find some kind of comfort and peace in hearing from you.
You should let him know that you still care about him and wish him the best and all that.If things turn inapproprate or uncomftorable, be sure to get out of dodge fast. He might have come from a rough start but, he had to have known what he was doing was going to land him in hot water so, there's not excuse for it.
Quoting annas_momma:
I say write him. Yea, he did something awful, but maybe you were one of the few that was ever kind to him. It might do him some good to hear from you.
You have to put your return address on the envelope or they won't deliver it to him. If you feel strange at first, try getting a PO box. He crossed your mind for obvious reasons. I don't know what you believe in, but I believe God put him in your heart for a reason. He probably needs someone positive in his life. I say write him.
I'm pretty sure that if the inmate is allowed to get mail then they're allowed to get every part of that mail-- including the envlope and address. IDK how much it costs but, you could get a PO Box if you really really wanted to stay in contact but not let them get your address. That seems like the only safe option if you really want to do this.
Quoting Anonymous:
Oh yeah I would never excuse what he did, but like you said just to let him know that if noone else cares, I do. And of course, first sign of anything awkward or fishy and I don't have to continue contact. They don't share your address with the inmate right? Or do they? Hmm lol.
Quoting ReiReally:I say go for it. Maybe having someone from his past who cared about him re-enter his life, he might find some kind of comfort and peace in hearing from you.
You should let him know that you still care about him and wish him the best and all that.If things turn inapproprate or uncomftorable, be sure to get out of dodge fast. He might have come from a rough start but, he had to have known what he was doing was going to land him in hot water so, there's not excuse for it.
Oh and just to add, my original thought just looking at the title was Heck No! But I work at a prison and I thought it was a romantic thing.
And yes, I believe something similar ;)
Quoting DannieLou:You have to put your return address on the envelope or they won't deliver it to him. If you feel strange at first, try getting a PO box. He crossed your mind for obvious reasons. I don't know what you believe in, but I believe God put him in your heart for a reason. He probably needs someone positive in his life. I say write him.
Do you ever get hit on even looking a mess?
Why inflict this silly cosmetic pain on a baby!?!