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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

The other kid. What would you do?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 572 Replies

Ok so a few years ago my boyfriend (we have a son together) had a brief fling (it lasted about 2 months) with a friend of ours. Well she ended up getting pregnant. Both she and my boyfriend said he was the father. He had told me he wanted to be in the child's life but I had concerns that he would continue the affair with her if he was in the child's life so I told him if he chose to play daddy to her kid then it was over between us and I would take our son and move out of state so he couldn't see our son. He chose to stay with me and our son (that's how it should be) . As far as I knew he'd had nothing further to do with her other than her letting him know the kid was born and what it was and it's name, untill about a year ago when I had his cell phone and seen some pictures of the kid she'd sent him. I asked him about them and he said that yeah he'd spoken with her online and said he'd like some pictures of the kid and so she sent him some. It pissed me off so I told him again that if he didn't cut off all contact thenI'd leave with our son. So far he's done what I want but I have a feeling somewhere down the line he'll get in touch with her again and this will start all over.

Also now everyone (even some of my family) thinks I'm the one that's the bitch. He's the one that cheated and had a kid with someone else and yet I'm the bad guy. What would you have done?


Wow this post got so many replies. I know it's nearly a year old but I didn't want to have to reexplain it all again so I'll just update on here. Well my boyfriend and I got married last year and we are now expecting another baby. He still hasn't seen or talked to his child by the other woman. The child would be over 3 years old now. We're very happily married yet I still worry at times, mainly becuase the other child will start school next year. It will be going to the same school my son does.  What happens if he is up there picking up our son and sees the child or the mother? How should I handle that?




Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 9, 2012 at 4:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 9, 2012 at 4:39 AM
32 moms liked this

A brief fling? We're you separated or did he flat out cheat? I think it's kind of mean to have him choose one kid over the other. How come he can not be a part time parent to the other kid and a full time parent to yours? You do know that people have step kids, ex wives, ex partners all the time and they're not always having sex, right? I couldn't imagine telling my husband he couldn't contact his child even if said child was the result of an affair. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 9, 2012 at 4:43 AM
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kiowaqueen
by on Apr. 9, 2012 at 4:43 AM
16 moms liked this
uh if he's a "good guy" then yea he's gonna want see HIS BLOOD..and i dont think thats right of u making him pick ! If u forgave him for cheating than u should get over the child and help him to get to know is kid ! what if she was U !
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Jperry86
by on Apr. 9, 2012 at 4:45 AM
65 moms liked this
You're a complete bitch. He obviously wants to be involved with his child and you threaten to take the other away? This is gloing to end badly. I hope he is recording your threats now.
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SOCO101
by on Apr. 9, 2012 at 4:45 AM
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I would have left him when he cheated, and got another woman pregnant. 

Now, yea, it's kinda a bitch move that you're making him chose. He was honest, and said he's afraid he still has feelings for this woman. So why are you still with him? 

What I'm getting is you don't want him to even see his kid. It's not the kid's fault, and he/she deserves to know their dad. The only thing I can suggest is getting weekend visitations with the kid. If the mom is willing, you could pick him/her up, and drop him/her off. This way there's no contact with your man and the baby's mama. I don't see this happening, but it's a suggestion.

jillrebecca3
by Member on Apr. 9, 2012 at 4:46 AM
18 moms liked this
Wow, sorry but that is his child. I don't think you have a right to dictate if he gets to have a relationship with HIS child or not. If you don't trust him you shouldn't be with him in the first place. Granted you have a child together but that doesn't mean he can't be a father to both.
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GoneBad31
by on Apr. 9, 2012 at 4:46 AM
26 moms liked this

How could you keep him from seeing his child...or BOTH children for that matter, if he doesn't go along with what you want? So, you are going to make him chose between his children? I hope he wises up, leaves you, takes YOUR kid, and gets back together with this other chick and they raise the SIBLINGS (whether you like it or not) together.

You're a douche.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 9, 2012 at 4:47 AM
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lasphrm517
by on Apr. 9, 2012 at 4:48 AM
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Is he a good dad to your son?  Because even though he sounds like kind of a jerk as far as boyfriend material, if he's a good dad...then I think it is very unfair to the other "kid" to deprive that child of knowing his or her father.  It isn't that poor baby's fault who his or her father and mother are any more than your son can help being his son too.  You know?  I wouldn't want her in our lives either...but like it or not your son has a half-sibling and it's not fair to the kids to not let them at least share their dad to whatever extent they can.  And if you're really worried about him continuing an affair with her, then you should give him the boot anyway.  Acting selfishly and threatening to take away his child isn't going to make him want you over her.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 9, 2012 at 4:48 AM

No we weren't seperated. We were (and still are) living together. I know people have step kids and ex's and don't have sex with their exes but I know he has feelings for this other woman. He'd pretty much told me and other people that if it wasn't for the fact of our son he would of left me for her and her (or I guess I should say their) child. It's only because our son was here and he already had a bond with him that he chose to stay with me. I also know that he slept with her again after their child was born and he'd contacted her about the pictures.

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