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I am not in love w/ my husband...

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When my husband and I first got together things were great. He was a great boyfriend and husband. After almost 3 yrs things have changed. 

We never have sex anymore. Hell we never even sleep in the same bed. He falls asleep on the sofa every night.

He never wants to do anything w/ me and our son. 

He never helps out w/ housework or anything. He comes home and sits on his ass and is on the computer all night.

We fight almost everyday. I have called him an asshole evryday this week. He ha been away since friday and I am not looking forward to him coming home. .

I stay because of our son. I dont want to put him through everything. I also stay b/c my MIL is crazy and I dont want her to have any time w/ our son. I can control it now but if my hubby has him I dont know if I can trust him to keep her away.

Now I know I am not perfect. The simple fact that I am talking to a guy I used to date is horrible. I know I may nag my hubby. I like things my way. 

I just want to cry.

by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 9:36 AM
Replies (41-50):
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 8:39 PM
2 moms liked this

SAD.....DH & I have been together 30 yrs, married over 27. 5 Children. It hasn't always been easy but both of us KNOW we have something  Special...........Amazing.....worth fighting for...

by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 8:55 PM

 So, yeah you suck too.  Maybe tell him you want counseling or separation.

by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 9:03 PM

I'm really sorry, and I was in almost an identical situation.

What's at the root of your issues with him?  His dumb fam?  Lack of effort?  That is what is tainting the entire marriage. 

Do you like anything about him?

by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 9:06 PM
Time to leave file for divorce if you are not happy trust your son is not going to be happy either. Children can pick up on the bad vibes between you and your dh. Also staying for your son is not a good move your sons might grown up to resent the fact that you use him to stay in a marriage that was turning bad.
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 9:23 PM

 I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell you that my mom said the same thing when I was young. She stayed because of us kids. At the age of 12 I begged her to get a divorce. Her and my father fighting everday made me very depressed. Just something to think about. Good luck to you.

by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 9:24 PM

Tomorrow during our  sons nap Im gonna make him a nice lunch and we are just gonna talk. Im gonna make sure his computer is off.  I want to know how he feels trully. Whenever I ask him he always says that he loves me and doesnt want me toleave. I want him to go deeper.

by Anonymous 13 on Apr. 15, 2012 at 9:31 PM

your not alone

by Ruby Member on Apr. 15, 2012 at 9:31 PM
3 moms liked this
Have you ever talked to him very seriously about it? Let me say one thing. Do not talk to an ex or an ex crush. Having feelings towards someone else will totally cloud your efforts and feelings towards trying to work things it with your DH. My best friend started talking to a guy from her work who was having marital problems, they developed feelings for each other, and now he's leaving his wife, when he didn't want to end things before my friend came into the picture.
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by Anonymous 14 on Apr. 15, 2012 at 9:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Well,  there was a reason  in the beginning you thought he was okay!  He might be acting the way he is to "avoid" you! If you talk to him that way!!!! I tell you, if my husband EVER used such language with me... oooooo!! NO one speaks to me that way.

Certainly no one who once claimed that they will love you forever, BETTER OR WORSE should speak that way to each other.

We should take marriage seriously- and if it is "worse" analyze what can you do to make it BETTER.

If you perhaps apologized to him for being so mean- and getting a sitter and going out and talking calmly?

You should work on making it better.

If it makes you feel better, MOST husbands don't do much "housework".  My husband wouldn't be caught dead doing laundry or cleaning bathrooms!

I adapted to it- I made the arrangement- okay I will never expect you to do housework if YOU never expect ME to do yardwork, etc.... compromise.

anyway- stop being so mean and HE might want to do more with you.  You are doing your kid a GIANT evil by treating his father that way!!! Kids form their opinions of marriage and how to relate by watching us.

by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 9:36 PM

If you're talking to a guy you used to date then it's pretty much done.... Have you guys talked about counseling ? I would do everything in my power to save my marriage before I called it quits.There's got to be something going on, something deeper.

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