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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My bad mom confession for the weekend........

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My daughter (11yo) tried out Friday for the middle school cheer squad and didn't make it. I honestly think I was more upset about it then she was, not because I wanted her to make it but because I hate seeing her upset. She is an AMAZING girl, smart, beautiful and all around good kid. This was her first time not getting what she wanted, she is an over achiever and is harder on herself then I could ever be.

Saturday morning I decided to cheer her up and have a girls day, I picked up her grandma and the three of us hit the mall. My daughter got a coach purse, coach wallet and a new pair of Sperry's. 

I know that isn't the right message to send to her, that spending money will make everything better but honestly it is how we deal with stuff in our family. I can remember having a bad day and my parents would take me shopping or pick me up from school with a present waiting in the car for me.

Honestly she is a great kid and has already achieved so much for her age and I hated seeing her upset, she had a great day and loves her new stuff and that makes me happy.

by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 12:47 AM
Replies (61-70):
DEEANNALAMB81
by Bronze Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:25 PM
1 mom liked this

She is the oldest of 4, she knows things don't always go her way. It is different when you tryout for something work hard at it and get your hopes up and then don't make it. She felt her emotions, she even came up with a plan to make sure she would be ready for next years tryouts. She hasn't given up, she just was disappointed and I as her mother wanted to make her smile!

No different then cooking her favorite meal or taking her out for ice cream and if I had done that you would be bitching I am teaching her to comfort herself with food.

How do you cheer your kids up then?

And for the record being disciplined or reprimanded for your actions aren't the same as not making the team. Apples to oranges. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Well way to teach her how Everything isn't going to go her way. So instead of letting her feel her emotions you're teaching her how to mask them with money. Maybe instead of college fund save up for a my boss corrected me today handbag fund.


bellanoelsmom
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:39 PM
My dd said she could move in with her grandparents in Michigan or my uncle in S.C. (we live in Florida) where two of the top 5 schools are located. Number 11 is near our house and is very hard to get into but the school has tried to get her to go there since she was first tested for the gifted program.
Its funny that you would mention attorney. Dd's first grade teachers called her "the little attorney". According to them dd could tell them the sky was yellow on a beautiful day and after arguing her point for a few minutes she would even have them (the teachers) wondering how they could ever have thought the sky was blue. Its not always great to argue with her at home but she is a strong girl!
You may want to talk to the school and other parents about starting a JV squad next year so there are more spots available. It seems ridiculous that only a few girls get to experience cheerleading.
Have your dd watch you tube videos that teach cheering in her spare time. She may prefer learning at home to build her confidence in addition to her gymnastics. I want to see a pic of the purse too! I didn't know coach made kids bags. I always tell my girls, you can't leave the house until you accessorize!


Quoting DEEANNALAMB81:

That is hilarious that she is pushing the move, she's a determined girl and makes a great argument. You may have a future lawyer on your hands.

Thank you, we try. She is naturally a quite shy girl and cheering has helped her be more confident and better in large groups. She has been doing a spotted back handspring for a while and wasn't ready to do it solo at try outs. Her coach said she would work on tryout scenarios with her to get her ready.

There were 47 girls that tried out and they only took 12, it was weird too cause they didn't have a 7th grade and 8th grade squad they just did one. So we really only know of one 7th grader that made the squad, the rest were 8th graders. 

Quoting bellanoelsmom:

Like your dd, mine is straight a student, she is in 7th grade, taking 9th grade algebra, third year of Latin and all other advanced classes. She also already has scholarships for college and the other day she brought me a list of the highest rated high schools for college preparedness. She is pushing us to relocate to improve her education. She was in a Montessori school until recently and when she goes to h.s. We will move near better schools.

Good job on giving your dd everything she needs to be confident and succeed. As you know, her being nervous and unsure probably hurt her the most. How many girls didn't make the team? Maybe you could start up a secondary team for them! They could cheer for girls teams or less popular sports. With proper coaching they could be better than the other girls but if not at least they would have fun!





Quoting DEEANNALAMB81:

She is in cheer and tumbling classes and was getting private lessons before try outs, she just wasn't ready or confident enough to do the back handsprings at try outs. She did her cartwheels and roundoffs and that just wasn't enough to make the team when the other girls were doing their back handsprings. She has already started planning on taking more classes (2x a week) so she can be ready for next years try outs, she hasn't given up. She is hard worker and knows hard work will help her get where she wants to be.


That is great your daughter is already thinking about college and what she wants to do, I wish more parents would start talking to their kids about college sooner. Good Luck to both of you!

Quoting bellanoelsmom:

How about getting her a private trainer or coach if cheerleading is important to her. With good training she will be better than most of the girls by tryouts next year. My 13 year old dd gets coached one on one by an ex pro softball player. She is trying to play in college and is amazing!






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bellanoelsmom
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:40 PM
My dd is the oldest too, I wonder if that's a pattern!


Quoting DEEANNALAMB81:

She is the oldest of 4, she knows things don't always go her way. It is different when you tryout for something work hard at it and get your hopes up and then don't make it. She felt her emotions, she even came up with a plan to make sure she would be ready for next years tryouts. She hasn't given up, she just was disappointed and I as her mother wanted to make her smile!

No different then cooking her favorite meal or taking her out for ice cream and if I had done that you would be bitching I am teaching her to comfort herself with food.

How do you cheer your kids up then?

And for the record being disciplined or reprimanded for your actions aren't the same as not making the team. Apples to oranges. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Well way to teach her how Everything isn't going to go her way. So instead of letting her feel her emotions you're teaching her how to mask them with money. Maybe instead of college fund save up for a my boss corrected me today handbag fund.



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bellanoelsmom
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:43 PM
Combining the grades into one team makes it especially hard on the younger kids! Usually the returning girls take up a lot of the spots then the girls who are older and have more experience get remaining spots. How about summer cheer through your local community, is that offered?


Quoting DEEANNALAMB81:

That is hilarious that she is pushing the move, she's a determined girl and makes a great argument. You may have a future lawyer on your hands.

Thank you, we try. She is naturally a quite shy girl and cheering has helped her be more confident and better in large groups. She has been doing a spotted back handspring for a while and wasn't ready to do it solo at try outs. Her coach said she would work on tryout scenarios with her to get her ready.

There were 47 girls that tried out and they only took 12, it was weird too cause they didn't have a 7th grade and 8th grade squad they just did one. So we really only know of one 7th grader that made the squad, the rest were 8th graders. 

Quoting bellanoelsmom:

Like your dd, mine is straight a student, she is in 7th grade, taking 9th grade algebra, third year of Latin and all other advanced classes. She also already has scholarships for college and the other day she brought me a list of the highest rated high schools for college preparedness. She is pushing us to relocate to improve her education. She was in a Montessori school until recently and when she goes to h.s. We will move near better schools.

Good job on giving your dd everything she needs to be confident and succeed. As you know, her being nervous and unsure probably hurt her the most. How many girls didn't make the team? Maybe you could start up a secondary team for them! They could cheer for girls teams or less popular sports. With proper coaching they could be better than the other girls but if not at least they would have fun!





Quoting DEEANNALAMB81:

She is in cheer and tumbling classes and was getting private lessons before try outs, she just wasn't ready or confident enough to do the back handsprings at try outs. She did her cartwheels and roundoffs and that just wasn't enough to make the team when the other girls were doing their back handsprings. She has already started planning on taking more classes (2x a week) so she can be ready for next years try outs, she hasn't given up. She is hard worker and knows hard work will help her get where she wants to be.


That is great your daughter is already thinking about college and what she wants to do, I wish more parents would start talking to their kids about college sooner. Good Luck to both of you!

Quoting bellanoelsmom:

How about getting her a private trainer or coach if cheerleading is important to her. With good training she will be better than most of the girls by tryouts next year. My 13 year old dd gets coached one on one by an ex pro softball player. She is trying to play in college and is amazing!






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itseebitsee
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:43 PM
2 moms liked this
My kids are good and I spoil them lol! Nothin wrong with that!

And I think the message you are sending her is it's okay not to get what you want always, and it's okay to make yourself feel better about it. Ha ha!
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wanntawn
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:53 PM

I don't see anything wrong with that. Whenever I had a bad day as a kid my mother would do something even if it was just going and getting a burger together. When I have a bad day as an adult now, my DH will do something special for me or get me something I like and surprise me. I think it's common when someone or yourself has a bad day to get something or do something that makes you happy! :) I hope you, your mother and your daughter had a nice time out and it was a happy day! :)


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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 16, 2012 at 4:01 PM
2 moms liked this

If I could afford to, I would buy my daughter expensive things like that too. Good for you for trying to cheer her up! Some moms are just jealous!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 16, 2012 at 4:28 PM

 

Quoting Momniscient:

Whatever works for you. Hope you both feel better.

 

lovelife350
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 4:34 PM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like a nice day to me. She seems like she works very hard to do well in classes and sometime a child just needs a personal day with their mom to shop and relax. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 16, 2012 at 5:13 PM
I can understand that!


Quoting DEEANNALAMB81:

I understand what you are saying, but how is an ice cream any different? Ice cream is teaching her food will make it better too. We did the hugs, she was still a little mopey Saturday afternoon so I called grandma and we had a girls day.

We had a little lunch we shopped, we were looking around and she was trying on the purse, she didn't ask anyone to buy it for her. I saw her happily checking herself out in the mirror wearing a small age appropriate purse and asked her if she wanted it. It was that innocent, we didn't set out to buy so much it just happened. She didn't know she would be getting anything she just thought she was spending the day with us. 

I would hope that if her husband knew she was having a bad day he would bring her something, flowers, pick up dinner, a gesture is as good as a gift.  It is not a bad thing to have some one achknowledge you are having a bad day and want to put a smile on your face.

Quoting Anonymous:

Not sure if this is smart? Disappointments in life is normal. It's all part of growing up. What happens when she has bad days and expects her DH to bring her a present? And be hurt if he doesn't? I can see this once in awhile. We all have bad days and a pick me up is nice. Ice cream maybe? Lots of hugs? But a Coach? I don't know....



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