July of 2009, I made a dumbass decision and got into a really bad car accident. It was raining, the roads were wet, the truck was too big, and I fishtailed and hit another car head-on. I was totally sober.
When we stopped spinning, I was stuck in the truck. I kicked my door until it opened, and ran to the other car. It was a gold Chrysler, with a man inside. Blood. Everywhere. I thought he was dead, until he mumbled "Stupid ass bitch" at me. I started bawling. Immediately I thought "I'm so fucked... my son... I'm fucked... my baby... fuck..." I squatted in the middle of the street. The truck was in the middle of the 4 lane highway in the left turn lane. His car was in the ditch, it had missed trees by inches. His car was totaled, glass was everywhere, the tire fell off.... the truck was bent and twisted, it was leaking antifreeze and it was smoking. My friend was fine. She was hysterical.
My son was with my grandparents. He was safe and had no idea what had happened. He doesn't know mommy was arrested and had almost killed someone. I spent the night in jail and since I had no criminal record, I was released on a PR bond. Charged with Reckless Driving.
The man lived. He had a collapsed lung and a few broken ribs, but my friend told me he was able to walk out of the car. I felt horrible that day. That man... my son... the empty baby seat in the back of his car...
Ever since then, my life has been a living hell. Too much to write. So much pain, so much drama, so much... everything and not enough smiles. Not enough happiness.
Do you think it's Karma? Do I REALLY deserve this?
It's MY fault because I was in car I was unfamiliar with, it was borrowed. I accelerated too quickly while turning right causing the fishtail. After the accident, I found out the plates didn't even match the truck. The woman I had borrowed it from had lied.