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abortion/deadbeats...where is the line?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I've been reading all these articles about deadbeat dads & abortions lately along with my husband. He asks me "Why do these women think its ok for them to ditch out on raising a baby but its not ok for the guys?" I didn't know how to answer him. So I'd like to know why if a man isn't ready for a baby or if he doesn't want it he is a POS deadbeat when if a woman doesn't want it, she can throw out the "I won't be an incubator"/"It's my body, my choice" or whatever and its supposed to be ok? What makes it ok for a women to not want a baby but its not ok for a man?
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 16, 2012 at 6:03 AM
Replies (211-220):
Salsacookies
by Gold Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 8:13 PM
1 mom liked this

Actually, when it is a clump of cells, it is called a blastocyst and then an embryo and then at 8 weeks, it becomes a fetus and resembles a small human. Genetically, it is a person from conception. 46 human chromosomes make it a human whether it's 2 weeks old or 2 days old. It's just human in a different form.

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

No, no I don't. I disagree with you completely. If I have to choose between you and the AMA, I'm going to choose the AMA. 

I've never thought a fetus was a baby. It's a fetus. It's a clump of cells. 

And no, according to law, your opinion doesn't count for shit to anyone, except you. 

Quoting nicolekcoy:

Thats were your wrong, my opinion does matter. The only reason those ppl say a "fetus" isnt a baby is bc there is money to be made. You can disagree with me but you know I'm right.

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

In your opinion, not the American Medical Association's. Not the FDA's. Not the lawmaker's that keep the procedure legal.

Your opinion matters naught. You've been trumped.



MeganECox
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 12:33 AM

It depends on what state you are in. Every state varies. I think here in texas there is no bottom dollar amount, but it is certain percentage of his NET income per child. 20% for one child & 25% for 2 children.  

Quoting briansmommy2010:

Sorry hun, but you'e wrong. I have a friend who was paying $200/month when he was working. When he got laid off, his ex agreed to go back to court to have the support lowered, and he started paying $80/month. In my state, $80/month is the bare minimum.

Quoting Anonymous:

There actually is a bottom dollar that they have to pay, I believe it's 350 NO MATTER WHAT, then based on income it goes up from there. Thanks, I know what the fuck I am talking about because I have been through it.

Quoting briansmommy2010:

It's actually based on the father's income, so there is no set amount. So maybe YOU should get your facts right if you're going to try to argue a point.

Quoting Anonymous:

100 to 200 a month is incorrect! Its more like anywhere between 400 to 600 a month. Get your facts right if you're going to try to argue a point!



Quoting Anonymous:

The man doesn't have to be a father but he should provide child support. And its not like its such a terrible thing. The woman who kept the child will pay thousands of dollars a year to provide for that child, be the main caregiver, take care of them if sick, homework, laundry, EVERYTHING. The man? Here is your check for the month of what $100-$200? BOOHOO! The women has a MUCH tougher job in raising that child(yes her choice) but you know what? The man made a choice to share is semen and get her pregnant.



Quoting Anonymous:

So a woman can abort the baby because she was being irresponsible? But a man has to provide for the child if the woman decides to keep the child? The man was being just as irresponsible as the woman, but his choice whether he wanted to be a father or not, is completely up to the woman? Makes perfect fucking sense!! NOT!!



Quoting chanizen:

Yeah I get that.



Whoops. Junior I'm sorry but you can starve because I ain't feeding you.



My response is the same.... Sure let's let the man do that. At the price of a vasectomy.






Quoting Anonymous:

I think what she meant was a man should be able to choose after the baby is born if he wants to be in its life.







Quoting chanizen:



Quoting AnnieMcD:

IDK, I think a man should have every right to say "I didn't want this baby" and sign away their rights. I think it's awful that a woman can have an abortion no matter what the baby's father wants, but that if a man doesn't want a child he is stuck with child support for the rest of his life. 



I think that allowing this would make a few more women be a lot more responsible about getting knocked up in the first place too. 





Do we get to force him to have a vasectomy so he cannot go around willy nilly making more kids and then saying "whoops"? I think we should.







If he gets that level control over my body, I want the right to neuter him.







 



 

MeganECox
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 12:44 AM
1 mom liked this

By the time that most women find out they are pregnant, the baby already has a beating heart. I totally agree with JavaLadyBug here!! 

Quoting JavaLadybug:

That "Tissue" or "Fetus" Would have been a child.. BUT SOMEONE KILLED IT.. 

And yes. I am sorry at 9 weeks it has a HEART BEAT...

If someone stopped your heart from beating... what would that be? killing someone.. ending a life..

Sorry if you do not like the truth!

Quoting armywife009:

No one killed a child, they terminated a fetus. Now, Andrea Yates killed a child, actually all five of her children.

Quoting JavaLadybug:

I personally think there is no differance.

Not wanting the child is not wanting the child. 

Actually if you ask me.. The man didn't kill the child he just didn't take the responsibility for that child's raising. The woman who has an abortion has KILLED THE CHILD!

So if one of the two of them is a POS.... I am not picking the guy!



MeganECox
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 12:50 AM

I don't think that anyone is saying that a medically necessary termination is wrong, its those that chose to abort just because they don't want to have a child.  Yes birth control fails, but .01% of the time.... Combined birth control (Condoms) has an even smaller percentage of failure. 

Quoting MarinaVictoria:

That's fine that you would be sympathetic, but I doubt the woman would care. She would do what she felt the best choice was. I've had an abortion (due to medical reasons) when I was 17. I cried and cried for about a month. But I soon realized that was the best choice. Now I'm 22 and have a beautiful DD. I don't regret my decision at all even though I didn't really have a choice

Quoting JavaLadybug:

I may not like what the woman chose to do. However I don't hate her. I personally am extremely sympathetic with the woman who now lives with the consequences of her choices... 

Don't paste all people with the same brush!

Quoting MarinaVictoria:

I'm going to get a lot of hate for this but whatever. I think both the woman and the man are equally responsible for conceiving a baby. But in my opinion is if the woman feels she is not ready to have a baby then it is HER right to have an abortion. If a man seriously wants the child then I think he can get a court order and force her to have the baby.... But whatever. I don't think it's right for woman to hate other women because they decided to have an abortion. Would you rather have a woman have a baby and be neglectful and all around be a horrible mom just because she felt she wasn't ready to be a mother and probably end up hating the child? Or would you rather have a woman have an abortion and then have a child once she was stable and WANTED to be a mother?

Just my opinion but I think it's a woman's right to have an abortion if she wanted. I'm pro choice obviously.



shell3m
by Shell on Apr. 17, 2012 at 12:53 AM

I think they both have a right to do what they think is best in a situation.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 17, 2012 at 1:03 AM

I dont think either situation is okay. But I think if women can terminate an unwanted pregnancy without the consent of the father than men should be allowed to sign away their rights and not have to pay child support. But like I said I dont think either is okay. If there is a medical reason or the women was raped than that is a different story but I really don't agree with the fact that a women can kill her baby because she doesn't want to deal with the result of her own actions. Its selfish and irresponsible and heart breaking

Mommy2ZOEBETH
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 1:13 AM

Are you both so dense that you need this explained? *sigh* okay...

Woman has the uterus and has to carry the fetus to term,when a man can he gets more say in what happens after a pregnancy happens.

 Abortion is birth control. It controls a birth...period. Women simply just have more options of birth control then men do.

He doesn't want children prior to conception he needs to ensure his own form of birth control via condom, spermicide,vasectomy and so on...

To be perfectly fair, mothers that skip out on their "BABIES" (living infants outside of the womb) to avoid financial or parental responsibility are pieces of shit too. In my opinion of course.

OutlawMUA
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 1:50 AM
I think "mothers" who abort are worse POS..
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 17, 2012 at 1:55 AM

The man doesn't have to carry the baby.  He doesn't have to go through the labor.  That's why.  That's life and they just need to deal with it.  It's never gonna change.

melakay1981
by Platinum Member on Apr. 17, 2012 at 1:56 AM

chanizen I like you :)

Quoting chanizen:

Quoting AnnieMcD:

IDK, I think a man should have every right to say "I didn't want this baby" and sign away their rights. I think it's awful that a woman can have an abortion no matter what the baby's father wants, but that if a man doesn't want a child he is stuck with child support for the rest of his life. 

I think that allowing this would make a few more women be a lot more responsible about getting knocked up in the first place too. 


Do we get to force him to have a vasectomy so he cannot go around willy nilly making more kids and then saying "whoops"? I think we should.

If he gets that level control over my body, I want the right to neuter him.


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