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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

DH is a Volunteer Firefighter and I HATE IT

Posted by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:47 AM
  • 128 Replies

 My DH is a volunteer firefighter. Ever since he's started this, he acts like his firefighting is of the utmost priority, and I'm sick to death of it. He has to go to a training every Tuesday night and then pull one 12-hour shift a week. (He does have another job. One that PAYS HIM.)

So...

I'm 9 months pregnant and we planned months ago for him to have a free schedule for the last two weeks of April so that there was nothing in the way that he might have to cancel when I have the baby, and we agreed on him having 5 days off once I had the baby so I could kind of get back on my feet. He pulled his 12-hour shifts earlier in the month and told them he wouldn't be at the trainings for two weeks. All of a sudden, last week, he tells me that he's actually going to the trainings because they "might" do some kind of test on one of them. I was a little upset because this was something we had repeatedly discussed: no firefighting crap for this time, but oh well. Next thing I know, he tells me that he signed up for a class that's all day this Friday! WHAT?

Last night, he asked me: if I have the baby in the next couple of days, would I be upset if he went to the class anyway on Friday. And I said yes--yes I would. He let it go, and then maybe an hour later he flipped out on me that I'm horrible and selfish and ridiculous and "unsupportive." Unsupportive? He has gone to all of his firefighting crap for three years straight and I ask him for 5 days of support after I have our child, and he's trying to make me feel guilty and selfish for asking for it!

Is it me? Am I being ridiculous?

by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:50 AM

Is he trying to become a firefighter?

iluv2meow
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:50 AM
3 moms liked this

oh ouch... But I agree with you. Family always comes FIRST and should always be PRIORITY. Giving birth isnt something you can do at any time any day, volunteering you can.

jonellg
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:50 AM
1 mom liked this

I think volunteer FF's are douchey lol DH is a FF, the paid kind... And it always seems like the volunteers think they are the greatest thing ever but really if they were great they would be hired.

OK, OK I'm wrong stop quoting me. I forgot about rual areas.

Sunshine257
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:52 AM
He is being selfish.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:52 AM
6 moms liked this

DH is a volunteer firefighter too. I will admit him running off in the middle of birthdays, Christmas mornings, and other important times does get old. I have to remind myself how his time may be saving someone else. He needs the training. He needs the certifications. He will be safer with all the training and certs. I may lose 4 hours with him while he fights a fire, but someone else is losing a home. He is helping save them and attempting to save their home. I may lose four hours with him, but he might be pulling a woman or child from a mangled car saving their lives. I rather him have the training and certs to do so safely. 

I can sacrifice those few hours because the people he is helping may be having a life altering experience.

VanWyzen
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:53 AM

 He is trying to become a firefighter, but since the district is small, it's kind of like one of the paid staff has to die, get fired, or quit before someone new can be hired on. And this class is not required to become part of the paid staff.

Quoting Anonymous:

Is he trying to become a firefighter?

 

jas_momof2
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:53 AM
1 mom liked this

Calling it crap is not being supportive...

jonellg
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:54 AM

he's likely just gaurding the truck lol 

Quoting Anonymous:

DH is a volunteer firefighter too. I will admit him running off in the middle of birthdays, Christmas mornings, and other important times does get old. I have to remind myself how his time may be saving someone else. He needs the training. He needs the certifications. He will be safer with all the training and certs. I may lose 4 hours with him while he fights a fire, but someone else is losing a home. He is helping save them and attempting to save their home. I may lose four hours with him, but he might be pulling a woman or child from a mangled car saving their lives. I rather him have the training and certs to do so safely. 

I can sacrifice those few hours because the people he is helping may be having a life altering experience.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:55 AM
4 moms liked this


Quoting jonellg:

I think volunteer FF's are douchey lol DH is a FF, the paid kind... And it always seems like the volunteers think they are the greatest thing ever but really if they were great they would be hired.

Well shit. What about those firefighters who are on a paid department and a volunteer department? What about those vff who are on a department in a rural area? I think ff wives life yourself, and passing judgement, are douchely.

A lot of the vff I know are also police offices, Paramdecis, and paid ff elsewhere.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:55 AM
1 mom liked this

You are clueless.

Quoting jonellg:

he's likely just gaurding the truck lol 

Quoting Anonymous:

DH is a volunteer firefighter too. I will admit him running off in the middle of birthdays, Christmas mornings, and other important times does get old. I have to remind myself how his time may be saving someone else. He needs the training. He needs the certifications. He will be safer with all the training and certs. I may lose 4 hours with him while he fights a fire, but someone else is losing a home. He is helping save them and attempting to save their home. I may lose four hours with him, but he might be pulling a woman or child from a mangled car saving their lives. I rather him have the training and certs to do so safely. 

I can sacrifice those few hours because the people he is helping may be having a life altering experience.



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