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What was your situation when you first had a child? Were you prepared?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

One thing that will cause you to get crucified on here is if you had a child and did not have every single penny of the money to pay for the child, and weren't completely prepared in every way to bring a child in to the world. However, I believe most people aren't completely prepared. 

Toward the end of my pregnancy DH got laid off of work which meant he was cut down to about $165 a week. It's not like I could take my pregnancy back. That's life for you. It happens. It's when the economy took a huge hit the first time a few years ago and a lot of people lost their jobs. It took him 11 months to even find a job and yes he was looking and applying! It's just where we live the main jobs all lost their businesses.

We had our own place we were paying for but we had to move in with the parents because we didn't have enough for every thing. We made payments on our home while we lived with them and it sucked!

The first year of my baby's life was spent in a little room at my parents house.

We had to get on food stamps for a little while and haven't been on them in a few years. 

Every thing unexpectedly went bad and nope we weren't prepared for any of it, but we didn't just settle. My DH found a good job, we got off assistance, we were able to move in to our own home again and I am fixing to start college. No, I absolutely do not regret when I had my baby. I wouldn't have waited until later on either. We were able to provide the essentials. I bargain shopped, and my baby shower really helped me out with every thing else. I also breastfed. It's nice to be completely prepared for things like that, but the truth is nobody can ever be prepared enough for a child. 

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:53 AM
Replies (41-45):
cLanief
by Ruby Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 12:49 PM
I was working a part time job as a janitor at a gas station making 7.35/hr 16 hours a week and just started dating my xh when i got pregnant... started a useless trade school the day i got my confirmation from planned parenthood that I was pregnant and then my boss fired my cuz of it. Fun times!
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lilfishbigocean
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 12:52 PM

My first DD (who's now 4), was a shock. I knew I was pregnant, and I went through a total denial stage, until I was so sick that my DH said "If you're not pregnant, you're fixin' to die. Go to your doctor.".. I went, and sure as sh!t, I was 12 1/2 weeks pregnant. We were able to move around a little bit for him to find more stable work. My baby shower really helped with a lot, but we did the rest.

Our second DD (now 21 months), was again - a complete surprise! I had actually gotten rid of everything "baby" about 4 weeks before I found out I was pregnant again - go figure! LOL. We were moving 4 hours away with only a truck and trailer, and just didn't have the room to pack things we didn't need. So, I blame moving on getting pregnant. But, once again, we just made it work. We tightened up our budget a little bit, to make room for a new baby, and we're doing just fine now! -- Bought a house last July, and making the best of it!!

My husband works his a$$ off everyday so we can afford for me to be a SAHM. We bought our house last July, and we've got money saved for bills, taxes, insurance. We also have a seperate account which is what we call a "nest-egg". If anything happens, unexpectedly (NO MORE KIDS! LOL), we're prepared for it.. Oh lord, I hope I didn't jynx myself! LOL I guess what I'm trying to say is, no one is ever 100% prepared, but after you experience something one time without having plans, you kinda know what you're in for, and what to start saving/planning next time.

justahousewife
by Silver Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 12:55 PM

I thought I was prepared. He'd had a stable job for almost 2yrs. It wasn't a huge income so we qualified for state insurance but made enough we didn't qualify for fs or pa. Kind of a happy medium. We did live with family though. We could afford all the baby things we needed.

The funny part is when we brought my oldest home finally (I had her 8wks early and she was in NICU for 4wks) he quit his job. Somehow he'd got it in his head that having the kid was the finish line. He never held a job for more than 3 months after that. 

LOL I thought I was prepared. Funny how you really have no idea what's going on in the other person's head. It was like being the passenger in a car wreck. 

SunshneDaydream
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 12:58 PM

I got pregnant in my 3rd year of college at the age of 21 because I'm a terrible person who had sex with her boyfriend and is against putting synthetic hormones in her body.  *gasp*.  I could easily have had an abortion because we weren't ready and had nothing and wanted to finish our education, but we did the right thing and accepted our fate.  I dropped out of school and worked full time at a dog kennel before moving in with my parents for a few months.  He stayed in school and worked part-time at a gas station, and later at a car dealership.  We got a 2 bedroom apartment with his college roommate and the baby slept in our bedroom.  My parents were amazing and helped us out with about $500/month (which is what they would have been paying for my tuition anyway) so that I could be a SAHM for awhile and not worry about daycare.  When my daughter was 8 months old, I went back to work at the dog kennel full time.  We lucked out and found a babysitter who only charged $20/day.  She wasn't perfect, but she was a godsend for us! My husband graduated, although his Theatre degree did nothing for him.  He worked full-time at the dealership washing cars, then detailing cars, then doing Interior repair, then started painting houses with a friend.  We struggled for a long time.  Finally I was able to start a grooming career just in time for our second child (also a surprise, but at least we were better prepared!)  We've been comfortable for the past 4 years, and my husband starts grad school this summer to become an Occupational Therapist.  Once he's done with that, we'll be comfortable enough that I can cut back to part-time work.  

Even millionaires aren't prepared for the crazy changes becoming a parent brings!

FandJ513
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 1:03 PM
I was pretty prepared by the end of my pregnancy. My daughters bio dad and myself had actually just moved into our own place the night my water broke.

Other than material things and financially, I was in a horrible situation. For the first two weeks I would say things we ok but, after that he went baxk to his old ways. (He used to be a major pot head but when he got this job he had he stopped because they did random drug testing.. and started drinking instead) so, he went back to getting drunk everynight. Not having a drink. Getting drunk and no, im not exaggerating. He was very verbally abusive. And then before too long he went back to being a pot head with a I don't give a fuck attitude. I moved out when my dd was two months old! I moved in with my dad and we tried to make things work for a little after that but I didn't of course. He is now in jail for attempted murder and I have a wonderful boyfriend who will adopt my dd when we have the money to get married. He is her daddy and he's been the one who has watched her grow up since she was eight months old. Now.. for those of you who say I moved on quick, here's a little background on me and bio dads relationship:
we had been dating off and on since I was 17. Constantly breaking up for periods of time and then making up for a much shorter period of time than a break up ever would be. Usually we would make up just to have sex and then maybe two or three days after that and then break up for three weeks or something. Anyway, I got pregnant when I was 19 and I still wanted to be with him at that point but, he treated me so bad through out the preganacy, by the time I was only a few months preganant I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. He continued to treat me bad until I totally accepted I was going to be a single parent. I always knew I was going to be though because even though he was there for her birthand we were living together, I gave her my last name.
sorry so long!
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