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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

ok. i need advice. cruel or not. im serious. (long)

Posted by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:06 PM
  • 24 Replies

I am 20. I have my high school diploma, and currently trying to obtain my A.S degree. I have a learning disability which I do not know the name of, I was recently diagnosed with the non-ability to learn without a teacher present, as though I have ADD, or the unability to focus unless I have someone right in front of me. I am trying to get my A.S. degree so that I can have a better job. Currently I am a stay at home mom, that cleans houses, and does yard work for income. I previously worked for Checkers, making 8 dollars an hour, working measley hours because my fiance works 12+ hour days every day (leaves when it's dark, comes home when it's dark kind of thing), and barely making it. I had to quit because my mom, who was my sitter went back to work (after being laid off) and she has been helping us money wise as much as she can if we come a little short.

She is about to lose her job, and won't be able to help us, and I cannot allow her to watch my son anymore ( I found out she was abusing him, like literally no joke, slapping him, cussing him.) I wouldn't joke about that. I cannot tell my fiance, he would flip. I mean I am flipping. So I don't know what to do because I don't have a sitter for me to work, but there won't be any help.


How did you momma's do it when you started off. Did you have to have a second job just to pay for childcare (which is what I am considering) Did you go to school full time and take out student loans to survive? (which is another option) Did you get your foot in the door somewhere with benefits? (How did you do that, do you have any pointers?)


I know I am bound to get some pretty rude responses, but I am seriously trying to just do right by my son. We live modestly, and still struggle.


My fiance makes only 8.50 an hour but reaches overtime every week, giving him time and a half after he hits 40.


Please just let me know what you did. I know I have to sacrifice, thats all I do now, I know that I am going to have to work my butt off, I just  want to know how other women, and moms did it. My issue is I just don't know what would be best.


And I am not broke enough to get help from the state for child care, so affording child care has been the hardest aspect for me.

by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
andersongirl562
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:10 PM
1 mom liked this

 Honostly when we were young ( DH and I)  I stayed home with the kids and he worked two jobs because it wasnt worth paying childcare. Now I run an in home daycare and stay home with our youngest and last child.

Rachellee12
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:12 PM


Quoting andersongirl562:

 Honostly when we were young ( DH and I)  I stayed home with the kids and he worked two jobs because it wasnt worth paying childcare. Now I run an in home daycare and stay home with our youngest and last child.

I wish he had the time for two jobs. This other one takes up ALL his time. How did you start your in home daycare?

AmaliaD
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:14 PM
1 mom liked this

when i was that young ...  i was a total partier... college student... not many cares in the world and on birth control....    i would not know what to do -   where do you live (state?)    i know a local adjency that gives career clothes to young women to be able to go to job interviews (it is called "dress for success.")   but i honeslty dont know where to begin other than - dont hide the fact that your mom hurt your child - dh is his father and should know - what if you get hurt and he lets her watch your child when he runs to the hospital - sometimes dh will be responsible for your child and needs to know if someone is abusive...

xXxLillithxXx
by Gold Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:17 PM

If your fiance only makes 8.50 an hour and your jobs are cash under the table...theres no way you can't qualify for assistance, especially to get you through school. usually colleges have daycares on campus that you can take advantage of for a pretty low fee (here anyways) You're probably going to have to get grants and student loans to help with the cost of things while you finish school. GL I know what its like to not have anyone around to help with child care. Daycare is really expensive. :/

maddhattermama
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:17 PM

df works till 3 or 4, i go in at 630. no sitter needed


eta: go to fafsa.edu.gov

alexsmomma06
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:21 PM
1 mom liked this
When SO was in school and our oldest was just an infant, I worked nights. He stayed with her ay night while I worked, and then I had her all day and evening while he was in class and work. It was really hard on both of us but we did it. We did it for 2 yrs. We couldn't afford a sitter, so this was our only option.
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LadyStork
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:24 PM
In my situation, unfortunately, I had to drop school and get a job. Dh's health is in the crapper and he won't be able to work full time anymore. School will no longer be an option for me. You may have to do the same. Sorry you're in this position :(
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:28 PM
1 mom liked this
I have my associates degree & it didn't get me anywhere so if that's all your going to school for I would consider waiting or doing it online & getting a job...as far as childcare the money you are making you would qualify for assistance or be a nanny/ babysitter so you can bring your son with you.
Rachellee12
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:30 PM

He has too much collateral for us in our state (FL) to get childcare...but we get food stamps. in our county  pinellas we have coordinated child care, which I am eligible for, but there is a waitlist. Also in our county they give away discounted childcare to single moms who live off nothing but the state, and collect money from everywhere. So because I live with my sons father, don't put him on child support (because that's what they expect me to do) have him under our financial assistance information, and apply with truth and not lie about our situation, we can't get the accelerated child care program, which also means we are stuck on the waitlist for eternity because they give all the funds to females who do nothing but live off the state and keep having babies in poor conditions (with no job, etc) I am not judging them, it just hurts me that I can't get help but the people who aren't as responsible with BC, and jump from BABY DADDY to baby daddy, unlike myself, get all the help in the world. I am not trying to offend anyone. I know that you have to provide for your families somehow, but I wish I had the help they had.

Quoting xXxLillithxXx:

If your fiance only makes 8.50 an hour and your jobs are cash under the table...theres no way you can't qualify for assistance, especially to get you through school. usually colleges have daycares on campus that you can take advantage of for a pretty low fee (here anyways) You're probably going to have to get grants and student loans to help with the cost of things while you finish school. GL I know what its like to not have anyone around to help with child care. Daycare is really expensive. :/


Rachellee12
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:33 PM


Quoting LadyStork:

In my situation, unfortunately, I had to drop school and get a job. Dh's health is in the crapper and he won't be able to work full time anymore. School will no longer be an option for me. You may have to do the same. Sorry you're in this position :(

It's life. Unfortunately. I'm sorry about DH'S health, I hope he gets better! I'm also sorry you had to give up on school, maybe one day you can go back. I probably with have to go get some kind of phlebotomy certificate, or cna liscense to survive.

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