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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

ok. i need advice. cruel or not. im serious. (long)

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I am 20. I have my high school diploma, and currently trying to obtain my A.S degree. I have a learning disability which I do not know the name of, I was recently diagnosed with the non-ability to learn without a teacher present, as though I have ADD, or the unability to focus unless I have someone right in front of me. I am trying to get my A.S. degree so that I can have a better job. Currently I am a stay at home mom, that cleans houses, and does yard work for income. I previously worked for Checkers, making 8 dollars an hour, working measley hours because my fiance works 12+ hour days every day (leaves when it's dark, comes home when it's dark kind of thing), and barely making it. I had to quit because my mom, who was my sitter went back to work (after being laid off) and she has been helping us money wise as much as she can if we come a little short.

She is about to lose her job, and won't be able to help us, and I cannot allow her to watch my son anymore ( I found out she was abusing him, like literally no joke, slapping him, cussing him.) I wouldn't joke about that. I cannot tell my fiance, he would flip. I mean I am flipping. So I don't know what to do because I don't have a sitter for me to work, but there won't be any help.


How did you momma's do it when you started off. Did you have to have a second job just to pay for childcare (which is what I am considering) Did you go to school full time and take out student loans to survive? (which is another option) Did you get your foot in the door somewhere with benefits? (How did you do that, do you have any pointers?)


I know I am bound to get some pretty rude responses, but I am seriously trying to just do right by my son. We live modestly, and still struggle.


My fiance makes only 8.50 an hour but reaches overtime every week, giving him time and a half after he hits 40.


Please just let me know what you did. I know I have to sacrifice, thats all I do now, I know that I am going to have to work my butt off, I just  want to know how other women, and moms did it. My issue is I just don't know what would be best.


And I am not broke enough to get help from the state for child care, so affording child care has been the hardest aspect for me.

by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:06 PM
Replies (11-20):
Rachellee12
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:36 PM


Quoting alexsmomma06:

When SO was in school and our oldest was just an infant, I worked nights. He stayed with her ay night while I worked, and then I had her all day and evening while he was in class and work. It was really hard on both of us but we did it. We did it for 2 yrs. We couldn't afford a sitter, so this was our only option.

We did this too. When he was also in FF. I was the one going to school, and working and he was working just days. Thing is now he has the "better" job, with accurate hours, but his schedule fluctuates so much, I can't have a set schedule to go into work. I would have to have a job where I could take my son with me for it to be able to work.

LadyStork
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:38 PM
Trust me, I know all about "life". School will most likely never be an option becaus. Dh seems to be getting worse as time passes. Right now its a waiting game.

Quoting Rachellee12:


Quoting LadyStork:

In my situation, unfortunately, I had to drop school and get a job. Dh's health is in the crapper and he won't be able to work full time anymore. School will no longer be an option for me. You may have to do the same. Sorry you're in this position :(

It's life. Unfortunately. I'm sorry about DH'S health, I hope he gets better! I'm also sorry you had to give up on school, maybe one day you can go back. I probably with have to go get some kind of phlebotomy certificate, or cna liscense to survive.

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Rachellee12
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:40 PM


Quoting LadyStork:

Trust me, I know all about "life". School will most likely never be an option becaus. Dh seems to be getting worse as time passes. Right now its a waiting game.

Quoting Rachellee12:


Quoting LadyStork:

In my situation, unfortunately, I had to drop school and get a job. Dh's health is in the crapper and he won't be able to work full time anymore. School will no longer be an option for me. You may have to do the same. Sorry you're in this position :(

It's life. Unfortunately. I'm sorry about DH'S health, I hope he gets better! I'm also sorry you had to give up on school, maybe one day you can go back. I probably with have to go get some kind of phlebotomy certificate, or cna liscense to survive.

I'm sorry momma, I wasn't trying to offend. I meant that "life" comment directed towards me, and my situation. I couldn't even put myself in your shoes. You are very strong, and I wish you and your hubby the best! *hugs&prayers*

Rachellee12
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:42 PM

We live in FL, pinellas county. I was on birthcontrol, and using condoms when I got preggo (he's definitely meant to be here..and he even had a difficult delivery and thought he wasn't going to survive, but he's a survivor.) And that is very true. I need to tell him. He has the right to know. Thank you.

Quoting AmaliaD:

when i was that young ...  i was a total partier... college student... not many cares in the world and on birth control....    i would not know what to do -   where do you live (state?)    i know a local adjency that gives career clothes to young women to be able to go to job interviews (it is called "dress for success.")   but i honeslty dont know where to begin other than - dont hide the fact that your mom hurt your child - dh is his father and should know - what if you get hurt and he lets her watch your child when he runs to the hospital - sometimes dh will be responsible for your child and needs to know if someone is abusive...


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:00 PM
1 mom liked this
If I were in your shoes and physically/mentally capable, I would keep my son at home and go to college online. I would use student loans to pay for school and some of the living expenses. Research the subject you are interested in to make sure it's a field that needs people. For example, I always thought there are way to many people with marketing degrees which makes it harder for you to stand out from other applicants with the same degree. Look around and see what kind of jobs are needed in your area. Like maybe there is a shortage of new applicants in certain fields in your area. It would be bad for you to rack up a ton of debt and then not be able to find a job still.
Also, maybe you could just get certified in something that would allow you to earn the certificate quickly and then work from home, something like medical transcriptionist or something like that. A lot of times you can get accounting jobs to work from home also. I think you can take out student loans even to get certificates atblike a techincal school too.
I currently work full time, go to school online, and my husband works full time too so my kids are in elementary school and day care. You could also try some in home day cares, they are usually much cheaper than the school-like day cares. Also, would your husband be home in time for you to take night classes?
Good luck!
andersongirl562
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:21 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting Rachellee12:


Quoting andersongirl562:

 Honostly when we were young ( DH and I)  I stayed home with the kids and he worked two jobs because it wasnt worth paying childcare. Now I run an in home daycare and stay home with our youngest and last child.

I wish he had the time for two jobs. This other one takes up ALL his time. How did you start your in home daycare?

 I ran an ad on craigslist about two year ago and started out with one child...I am now fully licensed for 12 children and I am able to pay all the bils plus all the extra's for the kiddos :)

Rachellee12
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:24 PM

Maybe one day out of the week. (for him to be home for me to take night time classes) and the day changes every week. which is insane!


I've tried the whole online class thing for two and a half semesters. I have gone from a 3.9 GPA to a 1.79 because of my inability to focus which is so sad to me. I am an academic, a total book worm, just with the attention span of a fly.


Might look into a school that has child care, or a school where I can get a certificate and still use loans.

Thank you for the advice!

Quoting Anonymous:

If I were in your shoes and physically/mentally capable, I would keep my son at home and go to college online. I would use student loans to pay for school and some of the living expenses. Research the subject you are interested in to make sure it's a field that needs people. For example, I always thought there are way to many people with marketing degrees which makes it harder for you to stand out from other applicants with the same degree. Look around and see what kind of jobs are needed in your area. Like maybe there is a shortage of new applicants in certain fields in your area. It would be bad for you to rack up a ton of debt and then not be able to find a job still.
Also, maybe you could just get certified in something that would allow you to earn the certificate quickly and then work from home, something like medical transcriptionist or something like that. A lot of times you can get accounting jobs to work from home also. I think you can take out student loans even to get certificates atblike a techincal school too.
I currently work full time, go to school online, and my husband works full time too so my kids are in elementary school and day care. You could also try some in home day cares, they are usually much cheaper than the school-like day cares. Also, would your husband be home in time for you to take night classes?
Good luck!


Stephd710
by Ruby Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:28 PM

You're going to need more than an Associates degree to get any kind of better paying job.  Nobody even looks at Associates degrees anymore.  You need to keep going unitl you have a bachelors and make sure it is in a field that is versatile and has alot of job openings.  

Rachellee12
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:30 PM

 Really!? Great! I am going for a degree in radiography. X-RAY'S etc.

Quoting Stephd710:

You're going to need more than an Associates degree to get any kind of better paying job.  Nobody even looks at Associates degrees anymore.  You need to keep going unitl you have a bachelors and make sure it is in a field that is versatile and has alot of job openings.  


Ris_n_Es_momma
by Bronze Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:50 PM
1 mom liked this
First off, I have no clue how you would not qualify for state assistance. Sounds like your family size and income would certainly meet the guidelines. Double and triple check. Contact your local state assistance office probably at the courthouse and have them review income and do the interview. I just don't see how making 8 an hour would have you over the limit. You may have received incorrect information. What I have done and you would really have to screen the person or perform a good interview first, I have used craigslist and posted looking for childcare and the amount I could afford to pay each week. This worked well for me.
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