I cant share my happiness about the baby moving inside me.
Not with my husband who does not want this child even more than he didnt want the past one. Not with my family because i dont want to tell them about it and disappoint. No one, but CM i suppose, dont really feel like that counts much though. Im 20 now and this will be my third, it may be hard work and i may have to sacrifice socially ect. However i dont feel cheated at all in life and i love my children more than the air i breath. Its not fair that i cant share in my happiness just because im a young mother. Its like its all my fault that ive brought children into this world. As if my husband didnt participate, and ive been on contraceptives for the past two, we are just super fertal the both of us. Why should i have this feeling of shame pressed on me when im NOT ashamed to have these beautiful children. My husband has a good job and our kids are well taken care of, so why is the world against me for NOT having abortions for example. IM the one doing all the hard work caring for the children, its MY own responsibility that they are looked after. I NEVER get a moment for ME and IM the only one that doesn't bitch about another child on the way (both these past children have gotten that reaction). Only the first was excepted (kinda). So dumb, and i wish i was stronger to NOT want support and love for both me and my children, but im just not that cold about it.
NOT needing sugestions on alternate birth controle, ill let my new doctor handle that thanks ladies! ^_^.