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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Being a SAHM is a privilege, not a right.

There are many women on here who feel every family should have a SAHP. Many of these women are also militantly against PA. One user comes to mind, and since I can't call her out by name, I will simply say she considers herself an elitest.

My question is for those who think every mom should be a SAHM. If in order to be a SAHM, one has to use PA to get by, do you still think it's right?

I personally don't. I don't have any issues with PA. This time last year, I was using it myself. I also don't have any issues with being a SAHM, if that is your desire, and you can afford it. However, it shouldn't be the job of the government and tax payers to support YOUR family while you sit home with your kids.

I personally feel the welfare system needs to be reformed, in many ways. But one of the main things I think needs to change is the habit of enabling SAHMs, and making them feel it is their RIGHT to be home with their kids. I think if you go to apply for PA, and there is one working parent, and you still qualify, the other parent should be required to get at least a part time job. For those who say they wouldn't be able to afford childcare-that same office that gives you your foodstamps also provides childcare assistance.

I honestly feel that short of extenuating circumstances (a disabled parent, a special needs child, a deployed husband), there is no excuse to be a SAHM if you have to buy your groceries with your EBT card.

by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 9:55 PM
Replies (41-50):
lovinglife0682
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 10:12 PM
But paying for daycare assistance is like teaching a man to fish where as foodstamps are giving a man fish.


Quoting ramonafrog:

If I'm getting FREE daycare I'll be taking advantage of that as long as I can...it's more expensive than what the government offers in fs. So IMO fs seems to be the least leech on the system.



Quoting lovinglife0682:

Quoting ramonafrog:

You do realize that the child care offered is a government paid program? So what's the difference in a SAHM being on fs or having a job (just for the sake of having a job) and being on CCMS (government funded childcare)??

when a woman has a job the thought is she will soon make enough to no longer need government aid. A sahm will not.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Apr. 22, 2012 at 10:13 PM
1 mom liked this
I have never been on any form of PA and my husband pays a whole hell if a lot in taxes. With that said honestly I would rather see my money helping a mom spent that special time with her kids AND go to school to better her situation. Instead of spending it on daycare for a kid who doesn't see his parents more than a couple hours bc mom is working her low wage job not getting anywhere.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ramonafrog
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 10:13 PM
I agree. I'm all for a parent being with their child vs working their ass of just for the sake of paying for daycare. Some of these women have their heads so far up their own ass that they wouldn't know what to do if god forbid they HAD to apply for PA.

Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah, well, the state doesn't always have the funds for childcare assistance. BTDT. While we currently are NOT on any FS why should I work my ass off only to pay for daycare if there is nothing left to help go towards the bills? That doesn't make sense. 



Quoting briansmommy2010:

I guess I just have less of a problem with childcare assistance than food stamps. At least the childcare assistance is paying so that both parents can work. The food stamps are enabling the parents to believe staying home is their RIGHT.

I know it probably doesn't make any sense, but childcare assistance is one government program that I have absolutely NO issue with.

Quoting ramonafrog:

You do realize that the child care offered is a government paid program? So what's the difference in a SAHM being on fs or having a job (just for the sake of having a job) and being on CCMS (government funded childcare)??



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
briansmommy2010
by Ruby Member on Apr. 22, 2012 at 10:14 PM
1 mom liked this

Finally, SOMEBODY got my reference, LOL.

Quoting babie113:

Waits for "ej" to arrive


joci2203
by Silver Member on Apr. 22, 2012 at 10:14 PM

I agree that it is not a right.

irishstarz
by Platinum Member on Apr. 22, 2012 at 10:14 PM
It's a Privilege and a Blessing, for me and my Family. But not everyone is able to - financially and/or mentally - and that's ok. We're all different and do what works for us and our families. =] I admire moms who work outside the home, I don't think I could handle it (but would learn to if I had to do it). Props to y'all! But being on assistance and staying home..I don't understand why you won't just get a job (if you haven't truly tried to find one).
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lovinglife0682
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 10:14 PM
I would.work before we applied for pa.


Quoting ramonafrog:

I agree. I'm all for a parent being with their child vs working their ass of just for the sake of paying for daycare. Some of these women have their heads so far up their own ass that they wouldn't know what to do if god forbid they HAD to apply for PA.



Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah, well, the state doesn't always have the funds for childcare assistance. BTDT. While we currently are NOT on any FS why should I work my ass off only to pay for daycare if there is nothing left to help go towards the bills? That doesn't make sense. 




Quoting briansmommy2010:

I guess I just have less of a problem with childcare assistance than food stamps. At least the childcare assistance is paying so that both parents can work. The food stamps are enabling the parents to believe staying home is their RIGHT.

I know it probably doesn't make any sense, but childcare assistance is one government program that I have absolutely NO issue with.

Quoting ramonafrog:

You do realize that the child care offered is a government paid program? So what's the difference in a SAHM being on fs or having a job (just for the sake of having a job) and being on CCMS (government funded childcare)??




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
briansmommy2010
by Ruby Member on Apr. 22, 2012 at 10:15 PM

If you're talking about me with that statement, maybe you might wanna re-read my post, where I clearly state that this time last year I was using PA myself.

Quoting ramonafrog:

I agree. I'm all for a parent being with their child vs working their ass of just for the sake of paying for daycare. Some of these women have their heads so far up their own ass that they wouldn't know what to do if god forbid they HAD to apply for PA.

Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah, well, the state doesn't always have the funds for childcare assistance. BTDT. While we currently are NOT on any FS why should I work my ass off only to pay for daycare if there is nothing left to help go towards the bills? That doesn't make sense. 



Quoting briansmommy2010:

I guess I just have less of a problem with childcare assistance than food stamps. At least the childcare assistance is paying so that both parents can work. The food stamps are enabling the parents to believe staying home is their RIGHT.

I know it probably doesn't make any sense, but childcare assistance is one government program that I have absolutely NO issue with.

Quoting ramonafrog:

You do realize that the child care offered is a government paid program? So what's the difference in a SAHM being on fs or having a job (just for the sake of having a job) and being on CCMS (government funded childcare)??




Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Apr. 22, 2012 at 10:15 PM

I think what needs to be addressed is personal responsibility.

Ideally, having a SAHP available to kids would be the best option.  That is my personal opinion.

But, parents also need to be responsible on all fronts, regarding the care of their kids.

Granted, I am aware there are circumstances, where PA is the best option. But those circumstances are limited to a temporary situation where a family needs some very temporary assistance to make ends meet, during a time of struggle.  IE a job loss, and the parents are actively looking to replace the lost income.  A family tragedy that forces the family to make financial sacrifices to keep things moving forward.  ETC.

But to receive PA when you are capable of working, no.

I am personally very fortunate to be married to someone who has done a very wonderful job supporting our family financially.  Even when he was laid off, we had more than enough money in our savings to cover the lack of income.  BUT, if there came a time where I needed to work to help support the family.  I would do so in a heart beat, and have done so in the past.

Bethsunshine
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 10:15 PM
I agree; using PA should be a temporary help, not a permanent career choice. I'm a SAHM and we've never gotten PA. When we have gotten in tough financial spots, and we've been there several times, my husband has worked a second job, and I've worked part time. The government didn't choose to have these kids, we did, and it's our responsibility to provide for them.
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