I first posted this in "Park Bench" because it didn't really seem like a "confession"...but im full of anxiety about this and I really could use some opinions and advice and it seems like this forum never goes to sleep, so please help a momma out.
Im really sorry its so long, I just wanted to cover all the possible questions.
I had my son circumsized when he was born. We were instructed from the start to keep vaseline on his pee pee, to pull the skin back a little and make sure it was always nice and lubed up to prevent infection, bridges and to keep the skin from healing onto the mushroom part of the head. We did this routinely, morning noon and night, after every bath, after every diaper change. We bathed him regularly as an infant every other night and never used any harsh soaps on him, just regular'ol johnsons or huggies brand. Usually the sensitive skin kind cause he had atopic dermatitus (dry skin or mild eczema).
So that is a little bit of the back story, im sorry if this is too long but its important that im thorough cause this current event is really freaking me out and I would really like to talk about it and get some opinions/advice or hear your own experiences.
No matter how strictly I followed doctors orders my sons shaft skin always began to heal onto the edges of the head like just underneath. Its like one morning when I went to pull it back, it just wouldn't pull back like it did the day before. I took him to the doc and the doc would take his peepee skin and literally "rip" it off the head. He told me I could do this at home and to just keep it vaselined. This was only a couple months after his birth. I tried to do it myself the next tiem I felt it needed done but it made me very uncomfortable, my baby would cry out in pain and I just felt it was something a doctor should do.
After about the 3rd time of going in for this I finally asked "WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!? I am doing everything you say to do!" (they always acted like this was common and no biggie). They said that my son probably had excessively strong pelvic floor muscles. That when he sits he penis goes almost all the way into his body. His positioning throughout the day like sleeping in the fetal position or sitting in a high chair or bouncer allowed excessive time for the skin to adhere to the head of the penis. There was nothing that could be done about that and its normal and he is just more prone to this "issue" and it should be just fine before he is 1 year old. That it had better be because it only gets more painful as you keep going in to have the skin pulled back.
His first year I believe I had him into the doctor for this "treatment" about 5 times. Seeing my baby go through this made me feel so terribly aweful, I can't even begin to describe it. I would bawl right along side him in the office. Like they said though it weened off at about 1 year. I had the nerve to do it myself once around that time. It was a tiny peice on the right side that just seemed barely attached, so I closed my eyes and jerked it a little and we both squealed and it was all better. A little vaseline and he was ship shape.
He is my only child and I come from a small family, I was never around any other babies and I don't know what little boy penis' are supose to look like. He always had extra skin hanging around the end and a little more on the left side. I have seen a couple of adult male penis' in my day and always thought some wrinkles of skin were normal for a flacid penis and maybe when men are babies there is always a little extra and they grow into it. I never thought twice about that.
No one in my husbands massive family that has watched him or taken him potty has ever said anything, my dad never said anything, my mother who raised my circumsized brother never said anything my own husband who is circumsized never said anything. His doctors never said anything. So of course I thought that was totally normal.
I believe because of the trama of having the shaft skin torn off his mushroom head, my son is has always been very protective of his privates. He has always been very hesitant of any sort of penis "investigation". So when I give him a bath I have always cleaned it blindly. I have always had to pulls his hands away and as quick as lightning pull the skin back and give it a quick little wash. Whenever he pees I pull the skin back and he does it on his own too and I have taught him to shake it dry. I say "shake shake" when his stream ends and he says "shake shake" when he jiggles the last little drip off it.
Just these past couple weeks he has been holding his privates and saying "owie", and it really seems completly at random I cannot pinpoint a time at all when he says this, it never "frequent" and it mostly started maybe once a week first thing in the morning. I thought he was confusing his morning woody for something painful. My husband said it does hurt to pee in the morning with a woody. Then just sporadically once or twice a week he would hold it and say "owie". It never happened often enough or close enough together for me to be too concerned about it. Cause later I would ask him "Does your pee pee hurt?" and he would say "no".
I told my husband that I wanted to take him to the doctor to check it out and he said that was silly, "It doesn't hurt him now, hes fine.". We investigated it as best we could, quick little glimpses cause he wont let us down there without a major fuss. It looked totally normal.
Well tonight he said "owie" again. To my husband this time. My husband took him in and Remi said it hurt I was outside doing something and when I came in Remi was layed out on the buffett and my husband was successfully investigating it.
Apparently there is a little bit of "toe jam" is the attractive term my husband used (barf). It was whitish sort of thick "stuff" around the head. My husband cleaned it up as best he could and my poor little man was pretty upset about it. The moment we were done though he acted totally fine, as if nothing.
My husband was on the phone with his mother the entire time. When he got off he told me his mom thought it sounded like a yeast infection, especially if it smelled bad, but I smelled it and it smelled perfectly normal, just like clean baby skin. Then she said we should take him in because yeast infections in men can cause sterility if left untreated. Then she said while at the office she wouldn't be surprised if they wanted to "REDO" his circumcision because the extra skin is not supose to be there. She said it was like they only half way circumsized him and she never said anything sooner because she wasn't sure if we even had him circumcised or not...
Im am on a trip here. I am so annoyed that with all of the unsolicited advice I get regarding my son from EVERYONE in my family that no one cared to mention that my son's penis looked weird, but they don't miss a beat when I accidentally put him in missmatched socks!
I am pissed at my husband for talking me down from taking him to the doctor sooner! He has a penis, he should know! I am completly ignorant of such things and was really relying on the much more experienced men and women in my family to provide me this sort of pertinant information.
I am really pissed if it is true that the man who delivered my son may have performed a botched circumcision. I am super pissed off that that little fact would be the major cause of all the bridges we had to suffer through when he was an infant. All the stress and heart ache and anguish could have all been prevented had this doc done the circumcision right.
Im pissed off at myself for getting bullied by the hospital to give him a circumcision in the first place! I was pretty neutral, i'd heard both side to circumcise or to not circumsize and they both have their pros and cons and my husband was like "whatever you want"...and i was kind of undecided and the staff at the hospital in my drug induced state brought me the papers and said "These are to okay his circumcision, they are prepping for it now."....I was like, "Idk yet.", "OMG REALLY!? You have to! blah blah..." so I signed it. I have regretted it ever sense.
I am upset about the possibility of a yeast infection if that is the case, but im way more upset about the possibility of my almost 3 year old having to undergo a second circumcision. If there are no health risks to not doing it again, im thinking of leaving him with a 1/2 circumcision. My husband finally has an opinion and of course its opposite of mine. If his circumcision is off he wants it fixed. Its one thing to be the kid with an ant eater, but he would really be a freak in the locker room with a sort of ant eater sort of soldier no body knows what kind weird penis...
So I dont know what to do! Im kinda jumping the gun, I havn't even googled anything yet...But im calling first thing in the morning to make an appointment and im sure they will get me in that afternoon and i just wanna be prepared. I wanna know what the possibilities are. What are your thoughts? Any similar experience? Please share. I feel so alone in this. I feel so terrible for my son. I hope nothing big has to happen. I hope they say, "Oh just little boy penis cheese, have him take this and he will be fine, penis looks just like its supose to."....but im kinda thinking that will not be the case... : ` <