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I think my mom favors my brother's children over my daughter?

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 1:10 AM
  • 2 Replies

It hurtsa to see this but I know it's not in my head bc all the signs are there. My brother is 3 yrs odler than me; our daughters mine and my niece arte just 3 mons apart with his being odler. Now when my daughter was born it seemed my mom was really equal with them perhaps even more favorable toward my child. We live closer they live 2 hrs away.

Then my nephew came along and he's 2 now and my daughter and nice are 3 1/2 and 4 (niece just turned 4 last week). Anyways my mom gushes over my nephew all the time,. always calling him 'the baby" even though he's 2 now..she watches his kids once a week and spends all day with them takes them to the aprk etc. Sjhe sued to do that with my daughter but now since she's been in preschool she doesnt have to which means she rarely watches my daughter. But even when I ask ehr to do a small favor like take my daughter to preschool or something bc I have to work by 8am she will do it but will at first hesitate.

Whenever I go with her to my brother's house to visit and help babysit with my daughter, she will side with my nephew even if he was the one to grab something from my daughter. My mom will always say something like "well he's the baby" or "she's taller" .

Even with my niece she will subtly show favortiskm over...like if my daughter wants to ride in the stroller with my nephew and pretend he's her baby brother as she doesn't have any siblings and porbbaly wont for a very long time due to fiancial reasons, instead of saying "oh how cute" my mom will say "well that is her brother" about my niece...or if my daughter wants to use her scooter while at their apartment and my niece doesnt want to share (which actually she's pretty good about sharing) my mom will say "well that is ehr toy".

Secretly I've always known my brother is her favorite child' fter all he is her first and she seems to graviotate toward boys more anyway as kids. But it jsut hruts and bugs me.

The truth is, my niece and nephew are much better-behaved than my daughter as theyhave parents whoa re firmer thanher father and I but still. My daughter isn't a monster but my mom describes  ehr as a "handful" which she is but she's still my daughter, and I love her and it hruts to think ehr own grandmother might like ehr less than the others.

I love my niece and nephew and ahrbor no resentment toward them as this is not their fault bu am just wodnering how I should deal with this? She knows I feel this way too.

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 1:10 AM
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Replies (1-2):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:40 AM
That sucks.
NoahsCoolMama
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:45 AM

My mom does this with my nephew as well. It used to bother me, but it doesn't anymore. I tried talking to her about it and she changed for a while. She would always make a point of saying that she loves all of her grandchildren equally. She has 4 total. But she always favor my nephew (he is 3) and I think maybe because he is the baby. She favored my brother when we were young, because he was the baby. I think she felt a lot of guilt when it came to my brother as well, because when she was pregnant with him, she wanted to have an abortion, but her friend talked her out of it. I still think she feels guilt about that, so I overlook it. My nephew looks just like my brother and it brings back a lot of memories for her. I know that she loves all of her grandchildren equally, so I just overlook the favoritism. Your mom will not change, so I would just do your best to look past it.

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