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I keep trying but its gets worse not better.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies
I try to be a better mother. And it gets worse not better.
He will one day hate me.
I never had parents. I don't know what I'm doing.
I love him, but I don't know what expectations to have from him.
I'm angry all the time.
I yell, I shout and I say things I shouldn't.
"Are you dumb or deaf?"
"Why do you DO that?!"
"What's wrong with you?"
I'm going to mess him up. The one good thing I've ever had in my life I am destroying.
I slapped him across the face today for mouthing back.
I want to die.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:57 AM
1 mom liked this

Momma call your dr and ask for a referral to a therapist. Learn how to talk and teach your child. when you feel yourself going to yell ~Whisper. Keep your hands to yourself. Start talking to him respectfully and he will do the same. I am not sure how old he is but you need to apologize and tell him you are getting help because you want to be a better parent. You want him to love and respect you.

carrieasia
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:58 AM
Hmmm. The only thing I can suggest is when you feel the anger bubbling up, stop, breathe and count to ten. Think about how you would feel if someone did or said what you are about to do. Maybr try a councilor. Go od luck
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frankiesma530
by Platinum Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:59 AM

 Give yourself a time out when you're angry.  Unless he's doing something that could hurt himself, I think you should take some time to breathe before you react.  Sorry if that's not helpful.

Lachrymose
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:00 AM

:( Sorry you are having trouble. 

Some of what you describe does appear to be just a problem with acting on impulse without pausing first.  A lot of people do this (I only recently was able to stop it myself!).  It also sounds like you might be depressed and/or anxious, and depression and/or anxiety often comes out as anger or irritability. 

I do not have all the answers, of course, but I think the fact that you realizing the problem AND verbalizing it is a huge step forward.  :) 

JADIEBUG
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:00 AM

Also find a good parenting class too.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Momma call your dr and ask for a referral to a therapist. Learn how to talk and teach your child. when you feel yourself going to yell ~Whisper. Keep your hands to yourself. Start talking to him respectfully and he will do the same. I am not sure how old he is but you need to apologize and tell him you are getting help because you want to be a better parent. You want him to love and respect you.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:00 AM
He's 6. And there is NO respect or love in the way I speak to him when correcting.
It's not, "sweetheart grab your bag"
Its "I ALREADY TOLD YOU GET YOUR BAG WHY DONT YOU EVER DO AS YOURE TOLD!"
I hate myself.
How can I speak to someone I love like that??
How can I treat my own child like that after all the pain I went through as a child from my own parents treating me the same way.


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Momma call your dr and ask for a referral to a therapist. Learn how to talk and teach your child. when you feel yourself going to yell ~Whisper. Keep your hands to yourself. Start talking to him respectfully and he will do the same. I am not sure how old he is but you need to apologize and tell him you are getting help because you want to be a better parent. You want him to love and respect you.

lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:04 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

He's 6. And there is NO respect or love in the way I speak to him when correcting.
It's not, "sweetheart grab your bag"
Its "I ALREADY TOLD YOU GET YOUR BAG WHY DONT YOU EVER DO AS YOURE TOLD!"
I hate myself.
How can I speak to someone I love like that??
How can I treat my own child like that after all the pain I went through as a child from my own parents treating me the same way.


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Momma call your dr and ask for a referral to a therapist. Learn how to talk and teach your child. when you feel yourself going to yell ~Whisper. Keep your hands to yourself. Start talking to him respectfully and he will do the same. I am not sure how old he is but you need to apologize and tell him you are getting help because you want to be a better parent. You want him to love and respect you.

   Because you have not learned to break the cycle. You are knowing you need to and want to know you need to find the help and the right tools. Hugs momma it wont be easy But you can do it ! I know you can because you love him and want to be a better parent than you had.Go pickup the phone and start right now. You can message anytime I will help you if I can. I have to leave for work soon but I will be on tonight. Please start fixing this momma.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:15 AM
You're right. I do need to do that and think about what I'm doing. Its like something takes over.
Sometimes I feel like he'd be better off without me.


Quoting frankiesma530:

 Give yourself a time out when you're angry.  Unless he's doing something that could hurt himself, I think you should take some time to breathe before you react.  Sorry if that's not helpful.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:21 AM
You need to learn patience with him or he's going to start treating you that way and that's the last thing you need. When you feel anger towards him leave the room if you have to until you calm down. Definitely talk to your doctor about it and see if there's anything else going on with you, like depression or other deep issues.
GOOD LUCK and hang in there.
3monkeys2love
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:26 AM
You need to learn patience with him or he's going to start treating you that way and that's the last thing you need. When you feel anger towards him leave the room if you have to until you calm down. Definitely talk to your doctor about it and see if there's anything else going on with you, like depression or other deep issues.
GOOD LUCK and hang in th
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